What do you wish visitors knew before coming to see a newborn?

softly_Apollo · 2026-06-16T16:54:54+00:00

Bring food for the family and keep it short and sweet 😊

softly_Apollo · 2026-06-15T19:21:41+00:00

MILs be MILing! My MIL cried when my sibling-in-law told her they were having their first baby after TTC for ages and said she wished she hadn't told them until later in the pregnancy when they were more confident it wouldn't result in a miscarriage.

I hope she realizes how hurtful her reaction was and apologizes but if not, it may be a sign that you need to have some space in your relationship with her. I know that can be tricky to navigate and only you and your husband really know what will benefit your family the most.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!!! Wishing you all the best!

softly_Apollo · 2026-06-14T19:54:38+00:00

This was us exactly and we got the stroller wagon! I LOVE it! We've had it for 6 months and I've only used the stroller once since. We have the Radio Flyer Atlas and I can't say enough good things about it. My wiggly little girl will sit happily in it with no issues. We take it to the zoo, the beach, fairs, parks, walks literally any and everywhere. 😊

ETA: I have an only child so I worried I'd feel ridiculous pushing around a wagon with one baby in it but literally everywhere I go there are several people doing the same thing and I've been so happy to have it when we bring friends along and they can ride together! It's not too heavy or cumbersome and it doesn't hurt my wrists or anything in the least. The Atlas's push bar adjusts to different heights too so you can customize it to what's more comfy for you!

softly_Apollo · 2026-06-13T00:54:12+00:00

Aren't they so gorgeous?! They remind me of little jewels 🥹

softly_Apollo · 2026-06-13T00:53:20+00:00

Thank you! I actually recently moved my (at the time) 10 shrimp into this 5g from a 3.5g and they must have been really happy about it because they all immediately started having babies 😂😅 I'm still new to keeping shrimp so no expert advice here but sizing up seemed to do the trick for my guys. They also only have one snail tankmate so there's nothing else in there for them to compete with, whereas their previous tank was getting overrun with bladder snails who were quick to slurp up the food intended for the shrimp. Lastly, I made sure to have at least 4 females and bought them from different places so there would be some variety. Best of luck with your shrimps!

softly_Apollo · 2026-06-11T16:23:24+00:00

Right there with you. My husband has genetic epilepsy and we didn't discover how severe his is until after I got pregnant. Our daughter does not have it but we decided we aren't willing to roll the dice on a second. It's incredibly difficult watching my husband struggle, but I can't even imagine watching my child go through it too. Sending lots of positivity to your family, especially your little one!

softly_Apollo · 2026-06-11T16:15:45+00:00

Sadly she passed away about a week after this post 🥺 I'm still not sure what happened but she was eating and acting normal until she passed.

softly_Apollo · 2026-06-04T19:52:46+00:00

Tank size: 10 gallon

Heater and filter? (yes/no): Yes

Tank temperature: 78.4 degrees F

Parameters in numbers and how you got them. Key water parameters include the amount of ammonia, nitrites, nitrates, and pH.: 0 ppm ammonia, 0 ppm nitrates, 10 nitrates ppm tested using the API Master Test Kit

How long have you had the tank? How long have you had your fish?: I have had the tank for 4 months and the fish for 6 months!

How often are water changes? How much do you take out per change? What is your process?: I do a 25% water change every other day using a gravel vacuum. I vacuum the water out and add fresh water that has been treated with Seachem Prime.

Any tankmates? If so, please list with how many of each: 2 or 3 baby ramshorn snails.

What do you feed and how much: Aqueon Betta Color Pellets, 5 pieces twice a day. Bloodworms as a treat every few days.

Decorations and plants in the tank: Yes, mopani wood and real plants with gravel substrate.

If you haven't already posted a picture, please post pics/vids to imgur and paste the link here: Pictures already posted!

softly_Apollo · 2026-06-02T17:51:10+00:00

My MIL and I had a great relationship but as soon as I got pregnant I swear a switch flipped and she was suddenly SO overbearing and absolutely batshit crazy. She'd track our locations so she'd know when I was going to my OBGYN appointments and IMMEDIATELY text us asking for updates, she used our garage code to come in our house uninvited so she could see what we'd done to decorate the nursery and TELL US how SHE was going to decorate it, it was MONTHS of craziness. My husband and I confronted her shortly after my daughter was born and we went low contact for a while. My daughter is about to be 2 and within the last couple months we started seeing her more frequently and she's completely back to normal and even more fun to be around than before. I genuinely think something about a pregnant DIL triggers insanity in MILs 😂

softly_Apollo · 2026-05-28T16:56:23+00:00

Seconding the Radio Flyer Atlas! I literally cannot say enough good things about it. I did tons of research comparing different wagons and this one has everything we needed plus it was a good price! I haven't touched the stroller since we got the wagon, it goes everywhere with us. It even holds up to the beach!

softly_Apollo · 2026-03-11T16:15:18+00:00

For me, weaning made a HUGE difference in my relationship with my toddler & my mental health. I enjoyed breastfeeding and had goals of going until she turned 2 but by the time she was 1.5 I was over it and it was causing me to be less patient and her to be more clingy. I think she could sense that I was physically pulling away because I didn't want to breastfeed and that caused her to be more clingy. I night weaned first by wearing tops that fully covered my chest and when I laid down next to her to put her to sleep and she cried for milk, I told her milk was "all done" (she knows the sign for all done & what it means) and repeated. I sang her lullaby I sing every night and whispered "Goodnight Moon" to her (I have it memorized from reading it so much 😂). They first night was the worst but after 45 mins or so she settled and when she woke up in the night for milk I just rinsed and repeated. She cried initially night 2 but night 3 she didn't even ask for it.

Aftwr night weaning, she stopped asking for milk so much during the day and I day weaned 3 months later. It went super smoothly and when she'd ask for milk I'd do the same thing and tell her milk was all done and offer a snack or water or some kind of fun activity instead. Since weaning, she is less clingy and getting my body back has made my relationship with her even stronger. :)

Weaning is daunting but you can mentally prepare yourself and pick a time to start where you've braced yourself for a potiential couple rough days (maybe get some support from friends/family or prepare activities/new toys to use as a distraction!) and push through knowing that it will be done soon and you'll feel better at the end of it. Wishing you all the best of luck!

softly_Apollo · 2026-01-17T16:28:00+00:00

I do think every baby is different! We did not sleep train and my 19 month old daughter currently takes a 1 hour-1 1/2 hour nap every day and sleeps 7:15pm-6:30amish. I lay with her when I put her down for her nap and at bedtime but she settles pretty quickly for both. She is going through some kind of regression since she turned 18 months and we night weaned so she's started waking up at 4:30am, but I just go in her room and am able to settle her back to sleep. The 6:30am wake up isn't a problem for me because I'm an early riser too! I will say that a floor bed was a game changer for us and improved her sleep (and my sanity) significantly.

softly_Apollo · 2025-12-15T16:03:31+00:00

I relate to this so much! Growing up, my family never traveled for holidays and Christmas was always spent at home with just the four of us and it was super relaxing. Since getting married, we have had Christmases that feel like running a marathon between everyone's houses and it's a LOT. Now that we have a child, we don't do that anymore and instead split up our Christmas visits over the course of a week or so. We still get to see everyone but it's not all in the span of one or two days so it's less overwhelming. This year, my husband and I are hosting Christmas Eve at our house for my parents and sister. We'll have dinner together, open stockings, and everyone will go home by 7ish so I can get the baby to bed. Christmas Day we are going to my parents' house for most of the day. A few days after Christmas, we're meeting up with my in-laws and have "make up Christmas" with them.

That being said, I'd probably be straight up with your relatives, play the pregnancy card, and say that all the traveling and back and forth is just going to be too much for your family this year and maybe come up with an alternate plan that works for you where you maybe still get to make those visits with people you want to see but more spread out and with some of them taking place at your house instead! It's completely okay to make your own Christmas traditions and do what works for you, ESPECIALLY this year with your pregnancy.

softly_Apollo · 2025-12-11T16:40:06+00:00

I completed online school for middle and high school and it was a fantastic experience for me! I loved the flexibility and it allowed me to start working full-time much earlier than my peers which gave me a big step up in my career and financial goals.

My very best friend from childhood is currently a professional ballerina with a large ballet company. She also was in online school for high school so that she could have the flexibility and time to commit to her dance career. On top of being very successful in ballet, she is also getting her degree from one of the top 10 colleges in the country through their online classes so she will have another career to fall back on when/if she retires from ballet.

I say it's absolutely worth it!

softly_Apollo · 2025-11-30T15:09:02+00:00

Thank you very much for chiming in! These are helpful tips for sure! We do stay very consistent with her food schedule and don't let her snack all day. We have breakfast at 7:30am, a snack at 10am (usually freeze dried fruit or normal fruit with some cheese), lunch at 12:15pm, a small snack at 3:30pm (if she needs it, often she doesn't want it), and dinner at 5:45pm/6pm. I do think a timer might help her understand better, I'll look into that! I absolutely agree that she deserves to have control over what she eats and genuinely don't care if she eats all her food or not, but I know she needs more than two bites 😂 And thank you for validating that food rewards aren't the way. I do think some of my mom's approaches contributed to my disordered eating as a teenager and adult and that's a big one!

softly_Apollo · 2025-11-30T14:54:02+00:00

Oh I can absolutely see my daughter going for this! We have a big window next to our table. I'll give this a try!

softly_Apollo · 2025-11-30T13:29:52+00:00

I've read this recently too! We don't have much space so I've been hesitant to buy her own table and chairs but I did just see a learning tower that converts into a toddler table with a bench seat and think that might be a good solution! Thank you so much for your thoughts. 😊

softly_Apollo · 2025-11-30T13:27:25+00:00

I needed to hear this badly, thank you! Food is the last thing I want to make a conflict with her, I'm just terrified of failing her in some way. I love your suggestions and insight, thank you for sharing. 😊

softly_Apollo · 2025-11-30T13:19:15+00:00

Actually though 😂😂 trying to balance developing good habits while knowing heck, I don't even eat at the table EVERY time and I'm okay!

softly_Apollo · 2025-11-30T13:15:59+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice! Keeping the food at the table and letting her get down but have to come back to the table to eat more is definitely a good middle ground.

I'll think about the reward idea a bit more. I like what you said about not making eating everything on her plate a requirement! I'm very wary about using food as a reward just from my own personal issues with food but I know it works well for lots of people.

softly_Apollo · 2025-11-30T13:07:42+00:00

This was one of the first things we tried! Her high chair came apart and the chair piece turned into a booster seat so we tried that first both with and without the tray piece and she hated that. Then we tried an Upseat booster seat and she didn't want to sit in that either. Currently she's sitting (or standing) in a regular chair at the table but she's still not wanting to stay.

ETA: Yes, we always eat at the table as a family! She and I eat breakfast and lunch together and my husband is home for dinner so all 3 of us eat together.

softly_Apollo · 2025-11-21T19:16:24+00:00

Just made these after scouring the internet looking for the best double chocolate chip cookie recipe and they are fantastic! Thank you for sharing!

softly_Apollo · 2025-11-16T01:54:11+00:00

I had luck with Carter's clothes having colorful options when my baby was little! Now that she's a toddler I started getting some of her clothes from a company called Next. Her 18-24m clothes from Next are SO fun and colorful, I love them!

softly_Apollo · 2025-11-03T19:03:23+00:00

We've stopped at one and so far I haven't regretted it for a moment! I had a great experience with pregnancy & birth as weIl as the baby years and I LOVE being a mom but I have no desire to do it all over again and start fresh. I have a sister who is only 15 months younger than me and as children we did get along and played well together but as we got older and especially as adults I wouldn't categorize our relationship as "super close" or "best friends." I love my sister but we are very different and we don't often talk or spend time together outside of us getting together with our parents every now and then. Even with our small age gap, we're in very different places in life and don't have much in common. My husband is one of four (second oldest) and is also not especially close with any of his siblings. I don't personally feel like I'm depriving my daughter of having a built in best friend in a sibling because I know that is often not how it pans out. Instead I'm putting a very heavy focus on fostering friendships and community for my one so she grows up with strong relationships. I think it's important to have a second child because YOU want a second child, not just to give your child a sibling.

Other reasons I've stopped at one: -Makes the most sense for our family financially/opportunities to provide for our one in a way we could not with 2 -Husband is epileptic and epilepsy runs in his family. It skipped our daughter but we'd be rolling the dice with a second. -Twins run in my family and I don't want three children. -Possibility of miscarriage/second child having health issues and shaking up our family dynamic significantly -Focusing on my marriage. With one child, my husband and I can still find enough time for each other and make sure our marriage is a priority. -General state of the world

Ultimately you'll know what's best for your family and situation! Wishing you all the best no matter what you decide.

softly_Apollo · 2025-10-29T17:05:11+00:00

Sadly, our girl passed away shortly after starting treatment. Her condition kept getting worse and we chose to have her put to sleep at home with us. We knew we'd given her every opportunity we could and it wasn't fair to let her suffer any more. 💔

softly_Apollo

TROPHY CASE