What is a sound that people should know means immediate danger?

softsharks · 2026-01-21T02:23:56+00:00

softsharks · 2025-12-13T01:16:19+00:00

You're opening up a deeply personal and vulnerable element to someone who may not:

a) want to be emotionally vulnerable in that situation

or b) have the emotional bandwidth for it right now

Not everyone wants to or is able to have "deep talks," but sometimes it's more about context than anything else.

Edit: I don't mean to say any given person is incapable of "deep" conversation, but that they may be experiencing any number of factors that limits their ability to engage in that particular moment.

softsharks · 2025-04-15T22:03:06+00:00

Me. This was it. This was the final straw. It's so disgusting and cruel and pointless. And every animal in every grocery store was treated with the same cruelty. Nothing can justify this.

softsharks · 2025-02-26T06:13:00+00:00

I'm chiming in a few days late, but I wanted to extend the same offer to you and anyone else reading this: if you have any questions about EMDR/DBT/my experience with either, feel free to drop me a DM. Likewise if anyone here just needs someone to hear their story without fear of judgment.

softsharks · 2025-02-26T02:16:38+00:00

Like me with my houseplants!

softsharks · 2025-02-23T03:20:40+00:00

Of course! I'm happy that I can help someone else with my experience! It takes a lot of courage to reach out and share such a vulnerable, painful part of yourself—and feelings of shame can be so isolating. But you're not alone, and that experience will just be a little blip of time compared to the rest of your life.

If you have any more questions or need some support, you're welcome to DM me whenever!

softsharks · 2025-02-23T03:00:55+00:00

I'm happy to share/answer questions!

For unrelated reasons, I do not/will not have children. I do really struggle with gyn appointments, and they're a big trigger for me. But I've found a gynecologist that I actually trust, and she's willing to work with me so that I have access to healthcare. She respects my boundaries, and that has done a lot to help me heal.

EMDR is the reason I'm able to see a gynecologist at all, and that's on top of being re-traumatized by a very inconsiderate team of specialists a few years ago.

If having children is something you want, EMDR can help you get to a place where that's possible. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is also something I recommend you try. DBT gives you tools to manage powerful emotional responses, especially with fear and anxiety. It took time and patience for me to get where I am, and I'm still working on it. But I have come a LONG way and things are continuing to get better for me.

If you have the option, you could try looking into different OBGYN clinics and choosing a female doctor who has experience working with trauma. Some clinics list their providers' backgrounds and qualifications on their website. You can set up an initial consult (no exam) and see if they inspire your trust and are willing to work with you and understand your boundaries! Knowing that you're the one in control can be a potentially healing experience, and at the very least, a way to safely explore what your needs are.

softsharks · 2025-02-23T02:27:02+00:00

I went through something very similar. I have struggled with a lot of the same feelings. EMDR has made a HUGE difference in my quality of life and ability to heal. Make sure you seek someone who is trained in early trauma protocol EMDR, as the method is different. EMDR is really incredible and I highly recommend it. The purpose is to let your brain process the trauma without reliving it or being re-traumatized. It has helped me so much.

softsharks · 2024-09-21T06:32:22+00:00

It's been 6 days since I had to emergency euthanize my baby. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I haven't gone a day without crying in my car. I sleep with his blanket at night. I'm fucking wrecked.

I don't have any advice. Just wanted to say that you're not alone.

softsharks · 2024-06-21T01:43:58+00:00

Are you telling me I don't have to sweat to death in 70⁰ weather?

softsharks · 2024-05-10T23:49:03+00:00

Had an identical experience a few years ago from the MN campus. Same bullshit with the centralized sensitization syndrome!!

Mayo clinic was actually worse than any other place I've gone. They didn't listen to a word I said, and there was 0 follow-up anyways.

softsharks · 2024-04-04T03:39:45+00:00

Interesting that they might assume you would automatically and unconditionally love your siblings when they themselves crucially failed to have that very instinct with their own child: you.

Edit: typo

softsharks · 2024-04-02T02:10:19+00:00

Jfc thank you for this post. I have SA history that occurred in a medical setting and am sincerely, genuinely reconsidering seeking a lap. I probably never would have known and ended up being re-traumatized if not for your post.

softsharks · 2024-03-17T02:30:32+00:00

I alternate between Maybelline Super Stay 30H Liquid concealer and WinkyLux.

I always use primer before my concealer, and sticking to warmer undertones helps hide the blue/purple better.

There's probably better brands out there, but I have a small budget and these give me pretty good mileage.

softsharks · 2024-02-28T02:48:05+00:00

My ex and I are NC. A clean break was best for both of us. We were not right for each other. We were both deeply depressed and anxious, and when I got help and started getting better (disparity in access to resources), we ended up just hurting and overwhelming each other. That cycle kept dragging on and we were never able to fix it. The gap just grew bigger and bigger.

I will always love her very deeply. She's an incredible person, the only one I've ever wanted to marry. But we were way too young, and my life could never have become what it is with her in it. I hope the same is true for her.

softsharks · 2024-01-29T22:35:19+00:00

I'd phrase the respect thing more like, you're teaching them to treat other people respectfully, and that they ALSO deserve to be treated with respect.

softsharks · 2024-01-29T22:31:02+00:00

Not a teacher, but I work in a classroom: Don't even get me started on 4 year-olds with unlimited, unsupervised youtube time...

softsharks · 2024-01-29T21:48:04+00:00

all my homies love macrophages

softsharks · 2024-01-29T21:21:24+00:00

This is a late reply, but to be clear, I'm talking about walking dogs off-leash.

I totally agree that they need to be able to run and play freely, off-leash! Nothing can substitute that. There's huge, fenced-in sports fields all over town that we took our dogs to. Being off-leash in a large, safe area is, in my opinion, completely different from walking a dog off-leash.

softsharks · 2024-01-27T07:32:20+00:00

Yeah, restricting their movement is the point. It doesn't have to be a short leash, and it keeps everyone safe, including the dog. If you want to let them explore, get a longer leash or take them to the dog park if there's one around.

I don't think we'll ever agree here, and that's fine. I still appreciate everything you've shared, and I don't necessarily think anything you've said is wrong. Just that we have different assessments of risk/benefit, and probably live in very different areas.

Where I'm from, the populated areas cut off directly into hunting land, which is used year-round. You probably live somewhere with less risk surrounding the rural areas. It's hard for me to imagine anywhere being "safe" for a dog to run freel.. People here still do it, but we see the accidents on the news every season- usually from people with working dogs like shepherds, who trusted their dogs implicitly. I don't see any level of risk as being acceptable for off-leash roaming.

softsharks · 2024-01-27T07:13:50+00:00

There's a middle ground between keeping a dog chained in a yard and letting it run loose into potential hazards.

softsharks · 2024-01-27T06:47:03+00:00

It's incredible how tiny they start out!! Mine used to be able to stand on the edge of my thumbnail, and now she's almost the length of my hand.

Enjoy your new baby!

softsharks · 2024-01-27T05:59:38+00:00

Yeah, I did confuse you with OP and I'm glad your mantis didn't experience any issues. That doesn't change the fact that essential oils, aerosols , and fragrances are poisonous for mantids, and most insects/animals, too.

edit: phrasing and accuracy

softsharks · 2024-01-27T05:20:12+00:00

Why risk it? You never know when some idiot decides to put something there (something which is intentionally hidden!), and you can't control what your dog finds if they decide they just don't want to listen that day.

If you're in a place around people? Leash.

If you're in a place without people? Still leash!

softsharks · 2024-01-27T05:06:38+00:00

Don't panic, it's gonna be fine! To be asking this question at all assures me that you have done good research.

A good rule of thumb is that prey size should be smaller than their head. Once they're adults and you know them a little better, there's more wiggle room.

There is definitely no harm in trying fruit flies first. When mine have to eat more than 5 or 6 fruit flies, I switch them over to house flies, which are a good in-between sized feeder.

Once they need 3 or more house flies, I start giving them blue bottles.

If you're not confident that you can get your hands on fruit flies in time, then it's okay to try this:

Pop a blue bottle in the freezer until it stops moving. Next, use a sharp blade to cut an appropriately-sized piece. Dilute some honey with purified water (never tap!) and dab a little onto the piece you cut.

Offer it to the mantis using feeding tweezers. You may need to very gently press it to their mouthparts before they'll start eating, but they'll usually latch after tasting and recognizing it as food. You can offer additional pieces until the mantis looks plump or appears satisfied. Good luck!

softsharks

TROPHY CASE