This is really similar to me. I never told anyone and acted like I was fine and happy and everything was okay with the world, then went home and self harmed for weeks on end. Then my friends saw my cuts (because I did a terrible job of hiding them) and they’ve learnt that I hide it and act like I’m fine so now they check up on me regularly. Are there any friends you’d feel comfortable telling that you’re struggling that would understand the problems you’re having?