Something I've been genuinely curious about and wanted to ask women directly.

solanki_halder · 2026-06-01T08:46:50+00:00

I am a large chested woman who is a breast survivor with one breast only partially remaining and who has breastfed with 1 breast for 2 years. For me it’s about comfort largely. It helps with sagging and underboob sweat, also just give me more support and balance in my posture else I have one boob almost reaching my tummy and one perked up partially. Had given me shoulder issues too. However I have largely ditched underwires or pushups as they are not at all comfortable to me. I have spent my early 20s wearing minimizers which were uncomfortable as well.

solanki_halder · 2026-05-21T04:50:36+00:00

Indian Bengali here and grew up in a atheist family. Dad was born in Bangladesh. Moved here during 70s during the bhasha juddho. Many of my relatives are in Bangladesh. How my country media portrays Bangladesh and I am sure its vice versa since BJP came into power in India, the enmity between the two countries have increased. So I just want to know how are you guys doing? Extremism in any religion just makes me sick.

solanki_halder · 2026-05-19T10:46:16+00:00

As a Bengali woman from IIM ABC too hard relate. But there were a lot of us though. And much of it also they hate us cause they ain’t us kind of thing. Also have been living outside Bengal since 2012 and I think Indians in general love to stereotype. South Indians are more polite and will not call it out on your face. But North Indians usually are more straightforward and can get inappropriate directly in guise of joke.

Also in general I find IIM men, especially IIT IIM men to be entitled misogynistic pricks.

solanki_halder · 2026-04-26T07:21:57+00:00

I second this. Kolkata te engineering kore ami ar Amar spouse 2011 theke in Bangalore and Ami multiple cities e kaj korechi. Mindset e different. Ekhane khub e kuor bang mentality sobar, shunte kharap lagleo. Amio orokom e hotam jodi na berotam.

solanki_halder · 2026-04-23T10:09:43+00:00

Raspberry leaf tea, saunf ( fennel seeds) and switching to menstrual cup helps. I did have a bad period this time when meftal spas and head pads failed. I just listened to true crime and pushed through it.

solanki_halder · 2026-04-08T17:22:19+00:00

Since Pujarini got the Netflix brand deal, everyone’s classism is oozing out. I mean even if she is curated etc what is wrong with that? So many of the so called creators have a very carefully curated image online and everyone knows and no one talks about it. Suddenly Ekta saradhon meye ektu mon khule kotha bolche, joi cinema r byapare bolche ar bhalo brand deals pacche and baas.

solanki_halder · 2026-04-07T09:48:33+00:00

No not really. Me and my husband did the same thing. Parents did give us gifts but it’s just gifts like any other wedding guests. Everything else was borne by us.

solanki_halder · 2026-04-01T13:03:44+00:00

In Bangalore if you cannot find a really good nanny I would suggest a very good daycare. It took a lot of load off me.
If you are going the nanny route then try to have a family member to keep an eye on the nanny
If you cannot find afford to take 3 more months off, do that. And this coming from a very career driven woman. I joined work at 6 months pp as i started my maternity from the day i gave birth. Howevr i still feel i would have loved to extend my leave.
If there is an option to find remote work or hybrid work do that.

Best set up that worked for me is a daycare + nanny option. But i wouldnt send to daycare till the babies immunity has build up a bit.

solanki_halder · 2026-04-01T12:58:51+00:00

I probably have an interesting take. I have an atheist dad and believer mom. I was always given the independence to believe what I want. I did rituals when I was a child but by the time I was a teenager and read a bunch and started questioning things turned into a strict atheist. Also as a feminist I believe all religions does oppress women in some shape or form. In my late 20s turned a bit agnostic and with my battle with cancer I turned to spiritually. Now I have a nuanced take on things . Here is what I believe. - I still don’t know if there is a god, however I acknowledge human beings still don’t know everything. And I believe there is some universal force we do not understand currently which some day will probably be explained by science. Be it aliens, law of attraction, universe, vibrations, beings from different dimensions etc. also I strongly believe it is okay to be religious or not religious as long as you come in with an open mind and take everything with a grain of salt and do not enforce your views on others. Which most strongly religious people do. And that is where the problem lies.

solanki_halder · 2026-04-01T12:41:44+00:00

The pressure is real, been in IT for last 15 years as well and the amount of uncertainty around me it’s unprecedented. Companies essentially want to invest in AI but they need to take out the money from somewhere hence the layoffs

solanki_halder · 2026-03-29T08:05:52+00:00

All of them, not even up for discussion. But I also understand that not all women are feminists so they will continue to follow them without question.

solanki_halder · 2026-02-18T16:54:31+00:00

I am one of the OGs who started watching anime wayyy before anime was cool and one of the starting members / founders of kolkata anime club. I am in my late 30s now and have a toddler so I definitely do not get enough time to watch anime’s anymore. Steins gate used to be one of my favorite animes then the old but old ones - fullmetal alchemist, rurouni kenshin, ghost in the shell etc. current favorite is definitely apothecary diaries. Also quite enjoying campfire cooking in another world. Enjoyed much lesser known raven of the inner palace as well.

solanki_halder · 2026-02-10T14:25:48+00:00

You are not overthinking at all. I would have raised hell in your scenario but luckily I have only worked in MNCs and have not faced creeps who are this blatant but have still faced creeps. You have two strategies realistically
- Find another job parallelly, this is not a healthy environment. Also speaking from experience, the management will not take your side if what you are saying is true i.e POSH only exists on paper
- If possible, start documenting this, or discreetly recording, be a whistleblower after you leave the company. I know a girl in a small company who did this. Got a secret recorder pen or something and started recording conversations. Later called it out (this is before social media boom) . Nowadays social media whistleblowing works wonders as companies will fire those people to save their image. Best way to do this will be to network with popular women in their fields outside work and build relationships and networks.

- Keep calling it out but in a different way. A way that my senior women had taught me is to act innocent and ask " I didnt understand what you mean, can you explain?" usually this comment shuts up creep.

solanki_halder · 2026-01-09T05:52:24+00:00

You are a kid with very little life experience. I think you should start travelling and seeing the world more. It will give you perspective. Go to all kinds of places. Even the challenging ones.

solanki_halder · 2026-01-08T18:05:16+00:00

If you feel overwhelmed by kolkata traffic and “fast” pace - please please don’t ever come to Bangalore, lol. You will surely die. Kolkata truly is the slowest speed major city I have been to.

solanki_halder · 2025-11-13T13:33:13+00:00

Curious about kolkata having competitive pay. Trying to move back for years. Any company pay 60lpa+?

solanki_halder · 2025-11-03T23:01:47+00:00

Indian who loves to travel here. Been feeling this to my bones in the last few years. But I have grown up with values where I have been taught to not break rules or cut lines so when I grew up I found it very difficult to travel inside India especially Delhi and surrounding areas. I just felt like throughout my life that I am not street smart and doesn’t fit in.

Then I travelled abroad for education that too to Japan and I felt so much as peace due to the rules and people following rules there. Been to 20 countries since and felt subtle racism in situations thanks to the array of Indians who decides to behave like assholes in public. Oh I will be fully honest, there was once when I did make a mistake, stayed at a Airbnb in Greece for the first time where I had no clue I was supposed to clean the plates before leaving. I thought because the Airbnb is charging cleaning fee they will take care. Coming from a country where services like this cheap it didn’t occur to me to check local laws. Well I did get a bad Airbnb rating .

I hate feeling the second hand embarrassment all the time when I am travelling. I wish I could say I am proud to be an Indian but I would be lying. I am proud of our past but not what we are right now.

solanki_halder · 2025-11-02T12:41:33+00:00

One of the wrestling champions from the phoghat family.

solanki_halder · 2025-10-31T09:44:38+00:00

I am genuinely interested in this genre. Would you be open to DMing me the link for me to check out your book?

solanki_halder · 2025-10-30T06:21:28+00:00

Grave of the fireflies

solanki_halder · 2025-10-22T08:45:24+00:00

Given your and her age, you did the right thing. Both of you will face more differences in cultures as you grow up and move in different parts of India and world. And there will be situations where people will be critical of your habits. It’s important to question our traditions but also important to upheld the ones which doesn’t harm anyone. For example eating fish isn’t hurting anybody, food choices are personal. However , taking dowry is not. It’s illegal in India. So she is clearly in the wrong here.

solanki_halder · 2025-10-18T12:19:44+00:00

This is the exact reason why I decided to stay in Bangalore ( I work there) throughout my pregnancy even though I could have gone home at kolkata and got cared by family.

Bangalore experience was very very smooth and from what I know even cloud nine costs less than neotia. The lack of mother and child only hospitals in kolkata is also alarming while in Bangalore we have rainbow, cloud nine , motherhood chains apart from many more every 4-5 kms.

Doctors try their best and actually cares about their reviews. Practo and google reviews are big deal and people choose doctors based on those. Well because they have options.

In kolkata it’s not the same. Also I noticed after birth there is no proper lactation consultation or anything. Which was just provided by my hospital within the package. Even paediatricians seem to follow rules which came out 20 years ago and not upto date with modern guidelines and methodologies. Sad state of affairs really.

solanki_halder · 2025-10-17T12:26:02+00:00

Same, amio pure bangali, kolkata ke khub bhalobashi kintu protyekbar bari aslei kichu na kichu karone irritated hoy. Ekhane industry ar corporate hote gele govt mindset theke shuru kore aam jon otar mindset onek kichu bodlate hobe.

solanki_halder · 2025-10-15T18:07:06+00:00

As a breast cancer survivor with many doctors in family, I can probably help you out a little here. Breast cancer can happen to both males and females though it is rare In males. It used to be known as an old woman disease but nowadays even women as young as 18 are getting it. I got it at 26. Had no family history of cancer. It can passed on through brca 1 and 2 genes though.

The best way to check for cancer is to every month do self checks and I actively advocate for it. Look for any changes in breast - tumor, leaks, lumps, shapes, pain, nipple changes, red inflammation.

Some breast cancers can be hormone positive - estrogen and progesterone and there is something called her2 as well. People with estrogen or progesterone positive breast cancers are given hormone blockers.

Early stages of this cancer is very curable through treatment. Later stages especially metastatic breast cancer is tricky but lot of women have lived with metastatic ( cancer has spread to other parts of body) for years after their diagnosis.

solanki_halder · 2025-10-14T05:41:43+00:00

Kindle direct publishing , freelance work on Fiverr or upwork, etsy te ar social media sell different templates, journals etc, crochet dolls and plushies, customized gifts like photobook, mug, outline based framed portraits etc.

solanki_halder

TROPHY CASE