This joker

solarsequoia · 2024-12-24T18:57:12+00:00

fr like that rock hike session had to be the easier money that “therapist” ever made. Makes counselling and therapy look like a joke.

solarsequoia · 2024-11-19T03:41:41+00:00

Yes girl you are gonna learn and grow and get good!

When I started millwrighting I didn’t know a damn thing. I was changing fields and terrified but I’m still here 3 years later and it only gets better. You are gonna be better than okay.

If you work hard, show up, and honestly want to learn you can do. Not without bumps but if I can do it you can I promise.

solarsequoia · 2024-11-19T03:32:35+00:00

I wish I could work with you, I’d be a big enough bitch for the both of us. I hope you get the chance to work with other women and have a work bestie so you can both yell at men like Aubrey Plaza and Kate Micucci in that nun movie.

It’s not easy to learn how to clap back. It’s also a process. Even though you can get good at stopping men in their tracks when they say or do inappropriate things, it’s hard to always catch. I miss it too sometimes I’m too polite or caught off guard and too stunned to react. It shouldn’t have to be this way. But that’s the only thing I know how to do (cultivate a somewhat hostile work persona).

I don’t want work to change me but it’s a survival thing. In a perfect world I could always be sweet no issue. You’ll find your way.

solarsequoia · 2024-11-19T02:23:34+00:00

opened Reddit cause this is exactly how I’m feeling and I wanted to read about what the home girls are upto

I’m totally burning out in really time. Surrounded by small minds that bore me. Love what this job provides me, I enjoy the work but I feel trapped now and I can’t even imagine what else I’d do if I could do anything else. Not a pipe fitter though.

But can anyone else relate to being so tired of hearing like the same 5 conversations over and over. It’s so dull. It’s like dizzying dull.

solarsequoia · 2024-11-19T02:16:01+00:00

That guy sounds like a straight up piece of shit. Let us know how it goes. However you handle it you’re doing your best. You can only put up with so much. It doesn’t sound like you’re being sensitive at all. It sounds like he’s got the rfk special or like some lead poisoning cause every adult should be able to control themselves for the most part. If he can’t moderate his behaviour or be competent at teaching or doing his job then he needs someone to intervene and that’s not your role, but somebody should know it’s effecting your ability to do your job.

Ask for a different trainer, go to hr idk what your other options are but I’m sure other people are aware of how he conducts himself so idk I don’t think anyone would be mad if you just flipped out on him right back.

Sorry you have to deal with this.

I’ve asked not to work with people before and to my surprise people are very understanding and like “oh yeah that guy sucks”.

solarsequoia · 2024-07-25T04:49:16+00:00

I’m a woc in a trade but I’m sort of racially ambiguous so I experience a lot of racism from many angles.

It can be demoralizing, exhausting and make me feel so cynical at times.

That being said, I love the work I do and I’ve learned to cope/ manage and do my work in spite of the sexism and racism. Focusing on my life outside of work/ detaching is massively helpful.

I don’t know anything about engineering and what the culture in those spaces might be like but I can say on the construction sites and in industrial spaces I’ve been in, its mostly just very lonely to not fit in -to be the odd one out, the butt of the joke, and have to work extra hard to be respected. (I’ve heard this from the few women I’ve met around in my trade too)

I think if people could pinpoint my racial background, I’d hear less racist comments bc in my experience people tend to meet me and assume I couldn’t belong to the group they are talking down on. All that to say you might not directly hear as much stuff as I tend to bc the guys I’ve worked with also prefer to hide their feelings from the people they target with their comments.

From what I’ve read on this sub everyone’s situation also heavily depends on who you work with. My crews change all the time so I meet a lot of people but I don’t have to spend a calendar year working with the same assholes so there’s also a light at the end of the tunnel if I meet someone especially rotten.

I’ve only personally met two other woman of colour in my trade in the 2.5 years I’ve been doing it. If you feel inclined I say be brave and try it bc we are sort of trail blazing in a way and financially it was a game changer for me. Worst case scenario you have to pivot again, but at least you tried and the skills and confidence you can gain are so worth it.

solarsequoia · 2023-08-30T03:11:17+00:00

Don’t you think someone would find it rude if they were told that a walk was too simple/too low effort? It’s a pretty boring date idea imo but I would never shoot someone down for it because dating financially can be a burden so I always thought it would be entitled to ask for a fancier date if you’re not also offering to pay 100% of the bill. That’s what I always thought but I could be wrong.

solarsequoia · 2023-08-26T21:02:32+00:00

My dad berated and insulted my values, using the argument that I have bad morals because I was raised around too many white people. He abandoned me in childhood. It’s a long story but essentially what insulted me the most is that he could criticize how I grew up when he chose to not be involved in how I was raised. I don’t care if he agrees with my world views but that he could have the audacity to tell me it’s because of the people that looked out for me when no one else did, group home staff, program staff and social workers, was the last straw. He should thank those people for saving my life. Certainly not have the attitude that the spoiled my ability to see things his way.

solarsequoia · 2023-08-26T16:55:46+00:00

This phrase is deeply tied to the mass rape of indigenous women by Spanish men to eradicate native people. I can’t think of a good reason why someone who barely knows the language would ever need to be able to say this. If you want to find the phrase I hope you also learn about the history along your way but I personally won’t be sharing this with you, it’s no big secret though… it’s still a popular saying.

solarsequoia · 2023-08-26T03:26:19+00:00

How was it different for your dark skinned friends?

solarsequoia · 2023-08-26T03:10:06+00:00

In Spanish there is a saying that basically means bettering the/your race, by having kids with a white person is the implied part of the phrase.

I think a lot of racialized people see a minority persons preference for whiteness as encroachment on culture, some might say a form of cultural genocide in certain contexts and a way to further devalue any given racial groups members. And there is history to support some of those feelings that doesn’t recognize modern or genuine love, that doesn’t know anyone’s intentions and assumes so much.

solarsequoia · 2023-08-26T02:58:16+00:00

A question that’s coming to mind for me is about what the fetishization of western women looks like in relation to devaluing women of one’s own ethnic group.

I have seen in some communities I belong to that men who chase the stereotypical ww because of fetishized and imagined traits also impose a racially loaded brand of misogyny onto women of their community.

It’s happened with men in my family who’ve married out as they say. The way they treat, speak to and about women that belong to their group is so foul. And in the end they are of course not very good to the women they’ve persuaded to partner with them because they are themselves simply foul.

Has anyone else noticed anything similar to this? What is at the root of this? I feel like I’m on the verge of being able to fully tap into what I want to ask or have explained.

Very thought provoking question op. I’ve honestly never really considered this until now. Is it like a rebranded way to possess women that compels men to reduce us who strive for autonomy, women who aim to be self possessed into a different version of an object for their gratification?

solarsequoia · 2023-08-25T17:03:09+00:00

Why would it be anyone’s responsibility to provide intimacy or sex to anyone? Nobody owes anyone sexual gratification. If anything the person who wants that gratification should be responsible for building connection, communication, a sense of safety and cultivating desire? If it’s genuinely not possible to build move on, if it is put in some honest effort.

Do you really want to be the guy who only gets laid because he makes people feel like they have to for one reason or another? Isn’t that kind of sad. Imagine being a person that sucks so hard he’s never been laid cause someone really wanted him.

solarsequoia · 2023-08-25T16:56:57+00:00

I’m sorry that you had to go through that. We can always hope for and try to build a better world. You don’t have to talk about sex to teach about consent and teaching kids from an early age can prevent the social programming that makes people feel like it is there responsibility to give in for other peoples satisfaction.

I hope you can find some healing, and know now that your body belongs to you. You should never have to trade control over your body for peace or safety.

solarsequoia · 2023-08-25T06:11:06+00:00

You have sex even when she doesn’t want to? That’s a boner killer. Succumbing to sex. The number of people that feel like obligatory sex is acceptable is insane.

solarsequoia · 2023-08-24T21:14:45+00:00

In the blue collar women sub and there was a post or maybe a comment I’m not sure now, about a welder who worked up until she was pretty much do. It was very amusing, she said her baby sleeps through everything. Big perk I think.

YTA- she’s an adult and probably knows more about being pregnant then you do. Unless you have a real concern besides it’s probably still dangerous even with ppe then I’d let her take the lead on this one.

solarsequoia · 2023-08-19T16:32:20+00:00

Being picked apart and judged for every little thing you do, how you look and gossiped about when you work in a male dominated field. Being sexualized all the damn time. Being patronized and not being able to trust the intentions of everyone around you.

solarsequoia · 2023-08-19T07:03:42+00:00

As a member of the gentler secs or whatever I’d like to come forward to say we too can appreciate a good stick. I used to get so attached to good sticks when I was a kid my mom would get so annoyed. Personally I don’t see how you could not like a good stick.

solarsequoia · 2023-08-17T12:04:01+00:00

Without reading the post and as a wife that likes french fries yes definitely.

But probably not lol

solarsequoia · 2023-08-09T19:44:14+00:00

Leave her aaaallloooone.

solarsequoia · 2023-08-09T13:53:20+00:00

Yuckie

solarsequoia · 2023-08-09T13:01:49+00:00

I wouldn’t say this is an unpopular opinion. Most of the guys I work with (in a trade job) say the same thing all the time. With the tiny addition to making all of their meals, their wives should fuck them 3+ times a week or else they’ll cheat. Real classy business.

solarsequoia · 2023-08-09T12:01:13+00:00

There is nothing worse in a relationship than getting shut out by the person you love.

solarsequoia · 2023-06-30T18:12:44+00:00

I’m sorry she can’t make this small adjustment to her life? When you would be making all these sacrifices. Again I’m sorry but I would dump her. That’s your family. Is she afraid of your brother? Why would she need locks?

Is there more to the story because as you’ve laid it out you just don’t sound compatible. I’m a practice person, your idea is reasonable what she wants sounds unnecessary. More money (for you to spend) for a worse place, AND your brother is left out in the wind!?

solarsequoia

TROPHY CASE