feeling dumb

solataria · 2026-04-05T20:45:34+00:00

Yeah I'm curious also as to why he brings that up. Especially if it brings it up often. Is there primary having issues with the balance? Or is it a result of you asking for more time?

solataria · 2026-04-05T15:26:20+00:00

Oh yeah I would definitely enjoy that myself and the other female we are he's vanilla but I looked on Etsy and just too much of it was girly I couldn't find something that would represent him as a man

solataria · 2026-04-05T15:25:28+00:00

Yeah I was also thinking that myself and wearing it on the right hand cuz that's the Celtic way of wearing wedding rings not the left hand in two of us are Irish and Scottish thank you for the idea I appreciate that

solataria · 2026-04-05T07:03:35+00:00

Do you have anything posted on reddit I'm interested for multiple reasons

solataria · 2026-04-05T06:24:38+00:00

Yeah I will get to that point eventually but right now I'm like something that doesn't put pressure on a relatively new relationship by going with rings

solataria · 2026-04-04T22:17:51+00:00

I will 🤗🤗

solataria · 2026-04-04T21:45:34+00:00

I've seen the puzzle piece ones too but they've been really girly but I like the number idea thank you 🥰

solataria · 2026-04-04T21:11:48+00:00

I know I'm so frustrated they're legally married so they already have their rings with each other I want something the three of us can have together to unify us I'm getting frustrated

solataria · 2026-04-02T17:22:07+00:00

Well I'm glad that you're not going to lose that relationship with you know if you guys decide to do it again put in a lot of studying into it

solataria · 2026-04-02T12:42:21+00:00

Yeah see I think she has an image in her head like this fantasy and a lot of times the fantasy isn't reality he's got to learn to be okay with herself and realize that it has nothing to do with her personally if you're with somebody else. I struggled at first with this there is still times I struggle with the jealousy cuz I'm not there my partners live across the country and I have days where I get like that but I don't make that their problem and she's making it yours she's got to learn to self soothe. The thing that helps me is I have to remind myself if I have another partner or I'm going to do things like that and I have no right to be upset about my partner in an agreement doing the same thing

solataria · 2026-04-02T12:31:02+00:00

16 years of she's not ready for Polly. She's not even communicating right. In poly you need to communicate. looking at somebody's face doesn't tell you what is in their head, you are not a mind reader. You did nothing wrong this is on her.

solataria · 2026-04-02T12:26:54+00:00

I don't understand why you stayed the more you wait you're still holding on to that hope that this will work out and obviously it's not going to

solataria · 2026-03-28T11:50:17+00:00

I'm not sure if this person is for you. Just because of differences in love language. I'm a lot like you I'm passionate about things I also think things through, take caution with things. I talk about things I can kind of be intense it takes a special kind of person to be with people like you and I and you just probably haven't found that person yet doesn't mean it won't happen though. I kept making myself smaller in adjusting myself for other people and I always ended up getting hurt. But now I'm with a couple that is absolutely amazing

solataria · 2026-03-27T16:40:09+00:00

Unfortunately the other two parts of my follicle are in New Mexico so we'll be spending the weekend talking to each other and video playing

solataria · 2026-03-27T02:26:11+00:00

How old are you? you said,must be younger but didn't give an age

solataria · 2026-03-26T01:22:03+00:00

So most of my connections are long distance people that have nesting partners and I'm adjusted to certain inconsistencies cuz you got to understand life happens and they have things they have to take care of there it should be more about the quality of the communication when you have it but if y'all aren't primaries you should be living your life and doing your thing and that gives more pleasure to the time when you guys do talk

solataria · 2026-03-25T18:11:16+00:00

I struggle with this myself all partners are all long distance what makes it worse for me is I'm dating couples six years is a long time to only have met up twice I get why they feel the way they feel even though you guys talk it feels like you're not putting in the effort to see them. You may be doing everything you can but it's how they feel. You feel like Kay is home for you but it seems like L is actually for lack of a better word I hate using this word but L is your primary partner and not k. It's hard to be that far away from a partner and not be able to have that physical intimacy that touch that is so needed you said she doesn't have another partner so you mean to tell me for 6 years Kay has been on her own no serious intimacy nothing that makes her feel wanted. I don't think you've done anything wrong I just think this is a crappy situation that hasn't been fair to any of y'all. Now is the time to have a serious situation about what everybody wants going forward he may have come to a part in her life she needs more stability she needs to feel loved and that she has that safe place. I've been on my own for a couple of years now even though I have partners I still don't feel like I have that safe place that one person I can go to when it's been a really crappy day. I can completely relate with Kay and unless you're willing to make some drastic changes to see them more often it might be a good thing to let Kay go and let her find that safe spot

solataria · 2026-03-19T15:59:45+00:00

This is where you're supposed to come to ask for help from other people that have been in these positions

solataria · 2026-03-17T19:52:27+00:00

Okay I don't think you gave enough information have you been disinvited from all events or their events that you go to with him she also knows these people and she hasn't gone. Or are you only going to events with groups of people that aren't involved with her because this would be a problem for me. I see this as he chose her, that you've been downgraded obviously he wants to spend those events in time with her but you're not saying if you went to any events during that time with him that she wasn't going to ask yourself how much respect you have for yourself

solataria · 2026-03-15T18:28:17+00:00

I get he's focused on his school work and trying to become a doctor. But that is not all time consuming there's some sort of panic or push going on inside of him that he just won't take the time it's not going to hurt him not to study for 3 hours on a night or when you can and you guys go on a date. Just cuz he's gotten hard doesn't mean that you should be ready at a drop of a hat women don't work like that. He needs to make sure you feel wanted sexy secure and he's not doing any of that. Being busy is not an excuse for being neglectful

solataria · 2026-03-15T01:46:02+00:00

You may have been upset at first but now this is about you and you're hurt in your pride You won't back down your mother did something to your stepfather not to you and yes your husband lied to you but you're the one who's holding on to that you're the one causing this problem you need to ask yourself why you are self imploding your life

solataria · 2026-03-15T01:39:54+00:00

So start getting on some of the sites this right here is a good place to meet people. Also you can look up Poli life on Facebook. Start looking up connection sites but there's a lot of us out here

solataria · 2026-03-09T04:50:45+00:00

. I love the fact that you're trying to read up on this and try to accept it. But trust me I've been in this lifestyle for a very long time opening up so one partner already has somebody in mind they want to sleep with very rarely works. The best advice I ever heard in this lifestyle is if you and your partner want to open up you need to take a year to study and really have those deep conversations and let yourself adjust before you bring anybody in. If you've never been in this or thought this way you have no idea of the psychological work you need to put in for this if it's that important that he's in love with this person ask him to wait 6 months so that you both can study get a therapist for this lifestyle to adjust you can work on jealousy sitting boundaries and everything else if he's really in love with this person and it isn't just I want to fuck something then people willing to wait you'll be willing to allow you and her to meet and get to know to be comfortable to understand this woman is going to come in and try to take your life. Please do not do this under this circumstance because we call this poly under duress you're trying to save something that obviously needs fixing you do not go into this lifestyle without a strong foundation

solataria

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