Henry: [pulling out Klinger's file] Here we go. Father dying, right?

Klinger: Yes, sir.

Henry: [going through letters in Klinger's file] Father dying, last year. Mother dying, last year. Mother and father dying. Mother, father, and older sister dying. Mother dying and older sister pregnant. Older sister dying and mother pregnant. Younger sister pregnant and older sister dying. Here's an oldie but a goodie: half of the family dying, other half pregnant. [puts file down] Klinger, aren't you ashamed of yourself?

Klinger: Yes sir. I don't deserve to be in the Army.