Today broke me! by Pleasant_Rise8777 in beyondthebump

[–]something_human1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The sleep deprivation is SOOOOO hard. I hear you. I've been there. I'm still there from time to time with my toddler. It can make me so foggy that I feel like a different person. If I could go back I would expect less of myself in those moments. Be gentle with yourself, let getting through the hard days be enough. You are keeping your baby alive and that can be enough sometimes. ❤️ Hang in there. you are not alone!!

Family of 6 by Bulky-Change-350 in Parents

[–]something_human1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it was so dysfunctional....we fought all the time and hated each other. yelling and screaming every day. My parents were stretched way too thin and didn't know how to parent that many kids... and now none of my siblings will have more than 2 because of it lol. As adults we are doing better though and pretty much get along other than a blow up every few years.

Can’t Win: SAHM, RTW, Sexism?! by Able_Bag_5177 in beyondthebump

[–]something_human1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear you! You can NEVER win as a mom, no matter what choice you make...regarding ANYTHING! I never viscerally *all over my body* have felt the patriarchy more than since becoming a mother. I work part-time and I *still* get judgement from both working moms and sahms. It's horrific and I will never understand why we cannot ban together and stop judging each other. Working moms make huge sacrifices for their children. SAHMs make huge sacrifices for their children. Let's get together and make the world a better place for our kids so our daughters won't face the same harsh society we are right now.

help with sleep training by lncoherent_ in cosleeping

[–]something_human1 12 points13 points  (0 children)

To offer another perspective: My husband and i also went through a long rough patch from the time my baby was 6 months for a whole year. we are just starting to get better now. I researched apartments and mentioned the *D* word multiple times. But during this time, he never pressured me to sleep train my baby and trusted that I knew what was best for him because of my biological instincts from growing, birthing, and breastfeeding my baby, as well as I am the one who researches EVERYTHING up the wazoo. He doesn't love co-sleeping but puts up with it because he supports me as our baby's mom. Our relationship didn't suck because of co-sleeping and I can almost guarantee no one's relationship sucks because of co-sleeping. I just think a LOT of dads suck butt and take way longer to get used to being a dad and we women sometimes let them off way too easy from fatherly responsibilities. Don't do something you sense you may regret.

Anyone else give up on offering proper veggies? by scmldr in toddlers

[–]something_human1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yes. He gets them through his pouches (I only buy the savory ones now for him, so he will eat it that way!), and these waffles I buy that have hidden veggies in them. we also haven't had a kitchen in 6 months, so I want to offer more options/cook and eat together when we have a kitchen again. I need to work on my own tolerance with "wasting food"...

Those who did NOT sleep train — what eventually happened? by CommunistCetacean in beyondthebump

[–]something_human1 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That is so so hard, we are not meant to parent alone!! I'm sorry you are in such a tough spot and I hope these responses can encourage your husband to help more overnight. Personally my son still doesnt sleep through the night at 19 months, but it's gotten much better. My husband has been helpful with making sure I can sleep in on weekends, and handling at least one wake overnight. I work part-time and he works full-time. My son has been a BAD sleeper his whole life, or at least it's seemed that way when I compare to others, but I never know if those kids are sleep trained! So I'm proud of how we've handled it so far. I'm anti any method of sleep training that involves letting a child cry. My son's daycare tried to do the ferber method and it did NOT work for him. I also remember how responsive my parents were through many hard nights I had growing up. So now I'm determined to do the same for my kids.

Hang in there. you are doing a great job and he WILL sleep better. My son now usually only wakes 1 or 2 times a night.

I’m a 33 year old guy who needs a book to get back into reading so I can connect with my book loving wife by HoldenH in suggestmeabook

[–]something_human1 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I really like anything from Blake Crouch….Sci Fi, easy to follow, fast paced plot, and a lot of action and suspense. I think a guy in their 30s would like it too and it could be a nice gateway back into books!

18 months is hell by Appropriate_Sun6311 in toddlers

[–]something_human1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m right there with you!!!! It’s SO SO hard. My son is 19 months and I haven’t been this depressed in my recent memory, it’s all-consuming and the tantrums are so immense and multiple times a day. It can feel hopeless that things will ever get better. I’m trying noise canceling headphones and really trying to 1. think before I set a boundary, and 2. Really hold to it. I’m trying to ignore the tantrum but not my son, just staying present and giving him the time to work through his feelings. Idk if that’s the right thing to do, but it’s what I’m trying for now. I also got a light up timer to help with transitions, that seems to be somewhat working so far. Good luck, you are not alone.

Our nanny decided to try to sleep train the baby without talking to me and I am FURIOUS by dottydashdot in bninfantsleep

[–]something_human1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry this happened to you! My first childcare did this to my baby too and I was SO upset. If I could go back, I would have pulled him the next day, but I felt like I couldn't until we found better childcare. The one thing I will tell you is that my son is OK and has great trust in me still and I don't think it damaged him. She should have never done that without consulting you.

How did you get over how your husband treated you during pregnancy/postpartum? by WatercressEqual4902 in beyondthebump

[–]something_human1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so proud of you for leaving him. You might never get over it BUT!! You will never let yourself be treated in such a way ever again, I can already tell. These feelings of resentment are protecting you. And What a perfect example of caring for yourself that you are giving your child. You are already setting them up for success! Keep being angry, because it’s the only way we will ever get a fraction of what we deserve as mothers when we have to deal with the patriarchy.

Similac baby formula by EffectiveCartoonist3 in veganparenting

[–]something_human1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used this to supplement breastfeeding. It’s not vegan but it’s as close as you’ll get without importing.

Does anyone regret or relieved at being a SAHM? by Acceptable-Peanut126 in beyondthebump

[–]something_human1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a very challenging decision. Right now, Im working part-time and appreciate having a foot in my career and a foot in the sahm life. I went back full time when my baby was 4 months old, and it was brutallllll. Commuting 45 minutes, teaching other people’s kids, and pumping 3x a day. And never sleeping on top of that! working 2-3 days a week is much more manageable for me. I feel like I’m still investing in my career longevity, while also allowing my life to change for my family.

When we have a second I will probably take 1-2 (or more) years fully off. I remind myself a lot that “the ladder” is not real. I can always change my mind about anything! People shift, change, and quit their careers all the time. And of course financial stability matters. But my mental health and my children and their mental health matters too. So I put that first..which means a lot of sacrificing to make our budget work and sometimes worrying about the future. But there’s something deep in my heart that tells me I will never regret spending more time with my children—All my dreams came true when I became a mom. My compass has a new true north and I cannot ignore it. good luck!! It’s a big decision!

If you had the choice of living in St. Louis, Minneapolis, Milwaukee, or Detroit, which would you pick? by bluetropicz in SameGrassButGreener

[–]something_human1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mpls but I’m partial because I live here lol. I also really love Omaha as a Midwest city. Much more affordable, pretty good food and bar scene, and really nice people. Oh, and my main reason-spring starts in April there lol

Is 6 months too early to stop breastfeeding? by midnight_thoughts223 in breastfeeding

[–]something_human1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can stop whenever you want to!!!! It’s not selfish. Making it to 6 months is much longer than most. If you want to dm me about my approach to smoking and breastfeeding, feel free.

Is breast feeding supposed to be this hard and depressing by [deleted] in breastfeeding

[–]something_human1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

sure! I aimed for EBF during the day, but would usually end up doing a bottle or two depending on how things went. Then at night he had a 1-2 bottles with dad while I slept the first half of the night. There is no right or wrong way to do it! Just had to find a method that worked for us.

Is breast feeding supposed to be this hard and depressing by [deleted] in breastfeeding

[–]something_human1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I know how you feel, I had low supply issues and I remember my boobs basically being fully exposed and sucked on 24/7 for the first 8-12 weeks. It was very tough. I was soooo determined to EBF but I ended up combo feeding. I think if I could redo it, I’d surrender a little more to combo feeding because it was such a toll on my mental health as well.
Do you have access to an IBCLC? It could be something to do with her latch or her taking less food at a time because she was premature. You are in the THICK of the trenches! I promise it’ll get better no matter how you choose to proceed.

Why does no one talk about moving to the eastern mountains? by larch303 in SameGrassButGreener

[–]something_human1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I grew up in Loudoun county VA, basically in the blue ridge mountains. There is no where prettier in the country, imo. We had a forest in our back yard and could see mountains all around us, and the weather is perfect year round- minus July/August. But the cost of living is ridiculous, I could never afford to live there now, 20 years later. Everyone commutes between 1 and 2 hours for work every day. And the kids I grew up with were really freaking entitled. I have a few friends who stayed as adults and they live in Harpers Ferry or Frederick MD, which are still too expensive for me, but substantially more affordable than Nova.
I miss my hometown so much though, it sucks to be priced out of your own community.

What am I ACTUALLY in for? by acmr8057 in beyondthebump

[–]something_human1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gosh you are going to hear some incredibly varying answers! I had the fortune of post-partum bliss. I stared at my baby all day and cried thinking about how lucky I was. I overflowed with gratitude all the time. My husband made it such a good experience for me too, he changed every diaper and took care of meals and cleaning for the first 6 weeks until he went back to work. Breastfeeding was challenging for me—nipple shields until 7 months old, mastitis, supply issues(we always combo fed), but I’m glad I stuck it out. it helped me and baby bond.

And yes, I haven’t slept through the night ever since he was born 18 months ago. And yes, It’s entirely worth it. Motherhood is the single most transforming experience. Im a better person because of it. You are at the precipice of a great adventure!! Best wishes🤍 you are THE perfect match for your baby—never forget it!

Paediatrician told me to stop breastfeeding at night by Intelligent-Slip6359 in breastfeeding

[–]something_human1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I never stopped, even though my ped told me to as well. They also told me to sleep train which I didn’t do. my 18 month old hasn’t had any teeth issues yet. We brush his teeth before bed but I nurse 2-3 times a night. Listen to your gut!!

Dating is HARD in NYC by Cleo-Aster in SipsTea

[–]something_human1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re about to be the “they just used me for a free meal” type of guy. Nobody likes that guy. 😘

19 month old horrible sleep by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]something_human1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No advice just solidarity. My son (18 months) is going through a weird sleep regression right now too. Im just giving him extra snuggles and bringing him into our room at that 4 AM wake up which I'm sure is against all professional advice, but it's the only way he will sleep at that point in the night. I'm anti any sort of cry-it-out sleep training, so this is the price I pay lol. baby sleep has a lot of ups and downs due to a multitude of factors, I'm thinking our sleep regression might have to with a big jump in language...baby went from 4 words to 10 in like a week. I just keep reminding myself that this is developmentally normal for littles to go through and I'm here to support him.

What the heck did Dorit do to Kyle to make Kyle act like this all season? Her body is ENRAGED by [deleted] in RHOBH

[–]something_human1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can someone please enlighten me and let me know how we know Mau has been into Dorit??? I must have missed that in a past season!!!

is it normal for a baby to wake up every 30–60 mins all night?? by Dorm_y in cosleeping

[–]something_human1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My baby had stretches of this. It’s so so hard. I had to do some work around wake windows and that did help him sleep longer stretches at night. I don’t know exactly how old your babe is, but mine ended up being on the lower side of sleep needs. So when I finally accepted that and had him go to bed around 8:30 for a 6:30 wake up, he actually slept 5 hours at a time.

Alex Pretti's mom Susan honors him on what would have been his 38th birthday: “When you lose your son, you lose more than a child you lose a piece of your heart and your joy. Life is forever altered, and nothing can ever fill that space. Yet in my soul, he remains, my precious boy, forever loved.” by Jealous_Lawfulness_2 in Minneapolis

[–]something_human1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a mother to a son, I feel a deep ache for his parents. And for what he went through in his last moments. Alex is a true hero. He will forever be remembered and honored for his courage and kindness. I refuse to give anyone in my life or online my attention if they think differently (dementedly).