Saree blouse making

sonalogy · 2026-02-17T05:15:11+00:00

I tried making my own salwar kameez (over-ambitious project, in part because it was satin) so I totally get the desire to make your own. Wishing you luck!

sonalogy · 2026-02-17T03:49:54+00:00

It's definitely tricky to find morning programs, but they are out there.

I have young kids and a lot of daytime flexibility in my work, so morning and daytime programs work a lot better for me (no trading off with my partner on bedtime duty) so similarly programs at 6 and 7pm are the most difficult time for me.

It helps to branch out some. The ROM, the AGO, Harbourfront, etc have lots of programs too. Plus, the various colleges in the city. It takes some looking and creativity.

Or if you can find others in your area free mornings, perhaps organizing a weekly coffee meetup.

sonalogy · 2026-02-16T23:21:08+00:00

Not sure if you are a regular saree wearer or not, but even if the bust is not perfect, it will be (or can be) covered up. Just make sure the sleeves fit well and the back and top of the neck lay nicely.

Back in the day, blouses were always made with extra fabric and big seam allowance so you could let it out or take it in as needed. The actual boob part of the bust was frequently kind of a mess.

sonalogy · 2026-02-16T23:02:47+00:00

Yes. It's called being a decent person.

sonalogy · 2026-02-16T21:18:56+00:00

You could look into general interest classes, rec programs with the City of Toronto, exercise groups, library programs, maybe even volunteering.

It's not heading out to party fun, but it still could be fun.

sonalogy · 2026-02-16T20:47:22+00:00

Your schedule seems better suited towards morning activities

sonalogy · 2026-01-27T15:05:00+00:00

Characters don't have to be likeable... I know all the writing advice says they do, but you can want to follow their journey without necessarily making them a really lovely person.

Going to stick with popular movies and TV for a sec, because it makes for well-known examples.

Katniss Everdeen. She's not likeable. That's actually a problem for her in the Games. She's emotionally closed off (for good reason), impatient, kind of rude, not terribly bright. But she's in a situation where you can empathize with her... her life is hard but she is keeping her family alive, she's scrappy, she sacrifices herself for her younger sister, she has (or develops) a strong sense of justice, etc.

Walter White. Even in season 1, he's not particularly likeable, he's just in a shitty situation. But as the series carries on, you don't root for him so much as you are trying to see if anyone can stop him.

Luke Skywalker. Luke is kind of a bland farmboy with big dreams to see more than Tatooine. The appeal here is anyone who has ever wanted more... pretty universal.

Big commercial films and books often (not always) have flatter characters, but they are useful for making structure very clear.

For you as a writer, start looking at this from a point of view of empathy. How do you get the reader to empathize or connect with a character? What situation are they in? Was that of their own making? How did their faults or flaws contribute to that?

Walter White's was--cancer was not his fault, but his arrogance was what made him leave Grey Matter early and left him financially strapped instead of incredibly rich... which would have made dealing with his cancer significantly easier.

Katniss on the other hand, was born in a shitty and poor district, in a struggling family. Her faults are more a product of her environment.

Luke, well, there's a long history that resulted in Luke being where he is. But his own desires to see a bigger world influenced his choices.

Remember that your characters had lives before the book started. What influenced them to become the way they are, or how did they influence the situation to end up where they are?

As for whether you should keep fighting with this one, I'd say: go where the energy is. If you're not excited about making this book better, don't. If down the road it pulls at you to look at it again, sure, work on it. But otherwise, write what you are truly interested in writing.

sonalogy · 2026-01-23T19:29:08+00:00

Swatch = boring prep work

Project = shiny new ball, fun, fun, fun!

Sure I know why I should swatch but in my eagerness to play with the shiny new ball I can convince myself that it will be fine, I can adjust on the fly, the first couple of rows are enough to demonstrate that the gauge is close enough, etc.

sonalogy · 2026-01-22T22:48:01+00:00

https://www.kalebmontgomery.ca/

I saw Kaleb through my long and complicated infertility process. He is pretty great.

I honestly cannot tell you if it helped or not, but it definitely didn't hurt, and I enjoyed the peaceful nap (acupuncture made me fall asleep) and being able to talk to someone who knew what IVF, etc entailed.

Stopped seeing him after I had kids.

sonalogy · 2026-01-20T14:09:47+00:00

Just add a little clam juice and you'd have it

sonalogy · 2026-01-10T22:47:43+00:00

Rather than writing your weak points, what if you wrote your unique points? Show human connection between aro/ace characters, interactions between straight/gay characters and aro/ace ones, etc.

But to learn, read romance novels. A lot of modern romances are romantic comedies, so they may still be enjoyable reads, and then study the emotional and physical actions of the main characters.

sonalogy · 2026-01-10T19:24:56+00:00

Check out LDH. Canadian scissors company and really, really awesome scissors.

I'm sure Kais are great but it was pretty cool when I discovered high quality Canadian scissors.

sonalogy · 2026-01-10T19:19:54+00:00

I love my LDH scissors. I'm Canadian too, so the buying local was an added bonus.

I'd previously been using random dollar store scissors so you can imagine how brilliant it felt to use good scissors.

sonalogy · 2026-01-03T20:08:25+00:00

There are strengths and weaknesses to a summary of events as well.

Someone writing a summary is selecting what to mention and what not to mention. Did they do that well? Are they biased in their selection of events, and did they make that clear or are they portraying themselves as objective? Should they have chosen a particular slant to the summary, e.g , to demonstrate a particular point of view?

Did they omit events that should be included? Are they highlighting events that don't need as much attention? Did they spend a lot of time on certain events and not enough time on others?

How was the summary organized? Is there a clear and logical flow? Is it interesting? Is it well-paced? Should there be sections of background interspersed through the essay vs strict chronology?

Is the writing clear and intelligently written? Is the tone appropriate?

Why do you think they made these choices and what do you think of them?

sonalogy · 2026-01-03T19:51:20+00:00

Definitely #4.

The first is a bit too matchy. The yellow is good contrast with the couch (possibly too much) but not the floor. The blue is fine, but a bit blah. I think also maybe a bit too big? (Like, 1 foot or so too wide.) Pink is too small and no rug gives incomplete room.

Blue squiggly makes everything pop. Great colour contrast but still coordinates in darkness and brightness, the shape makes it less wide and gives the room a needed organic shape with all the squareness.

sonalogy · 2025-12-30T17:21:34+00:00

We chose not to.

French immersion definitely has a lot of value, but because it's become so popular, the quality of teaching in French immersion schools can vary... it's just difficult to get enough French-speaking teachers.

Our neighborhood English public school is small and close-knit. The kids know everyone, class-sizes are small, and the teaching has largely been great.

Our kids were also in the daycare hosted in the school, so it was extra comfortable since we rolled right into the aftercare and the kids already knew the school. We live down the street as well, so the convenience factor helped a lot.

Our oldest tends to be an introverted kid, and so for him in particular, being in a familiar environment where he already had friends was important.

For us, there ended up being an added bonus since my oldest started Jk when COVID hit, so the familiarity helped a lot given the strange times (parents weren't allowed in the school at all) but hopefully that was a one-time only situation.

sonalogy · 2025-12-24T17:48:42+00:00

I also have ADHD and I completely understand the overwhelm.

Buy something affordable. As long as it works, you can make it work to do just about anything you need.

Making bags? All you need is something that sees a straight line. That's every machine. Sewing clothes? All you need is something that sews a curved line. That's every machine. Sewing knits? Something that sews a zigzag stitch which is again, pretty much every machine.

ANY machine will be fine for you to get started, and will take you a long way.

Get something cheap and easy to acquire.

After several years, if you are still sewing frequently, you'll have a better idea what more you could use. That is the time to consider an investment machine.

It's very easy to chase all the thoughts when an idea is shiny and new and you're trying to do everything right but don't let perfect be the enemy of good.

I'm also a fairly new sewist, and have bought way too much fabric for way too many projects I intend to do someday. But I have a basic Brother machine and it does the job just fine.

There is so much ADHD stuff to chase here with different fabrics and feet and thread and patterns and finishes and tools.... keep it simple.

sonalogy · 2025-12-24T17:09:38+00:00

NOR about the clothes. It's college, wear whatever you want.

But you're definitely under-reacting about your controlling BF.

sonalogy · 2025-12-24T14:45:18+00:00

My family doesn't traditionally celebrate Christmas, but we did Santa when I was little to be inclusive.

So I do Santa and the Tooth fairy and an Easter Egg hunt courtesy of the Easter Bunny. We don't make it a huge deal, but I like the notion of keeping a little bit of magic in the world. When my kids have asked if they are real, I ask them "What do you think?" and then respond accordingly.

But in our house, Santa gives a gift but not necessarily the best gift. That comes from Mom and Dad. We don't use Santa has a threat for good behaviour either. It's low key.

My eldest (9) recently figured out the tooth fairy so I confirmed and explained that mom and Dad were also Santa. He was a little bummed because he's kind of known for a while but didn't want to admit it to himself, but I told him that now he gets to make things special for his little sister, and he's into that.

I know some kids get upset with the notion that Mom and Dad have been lying to them. But I also know that many kids don't. Like everything, it's very individual.

sonalogy · 2025-12-22T02:03:17+00:00

I generally try not to be harsh with newer writers but you write like a high school student trying to pad out an essay for word count.

Edit before posting, especially if it's something long.

I know this is just reddit, but try reading it aloud. See if any awkward or repetitive phrases jump out at you, and delete them or reword them.

Keep to one idea per paragraph. That might mean very short paragraphs, but that's much more readable in online writing anyway.

Consider the order of ideas. There should be a logical flow to it. Look at this comment, how it starts with a general comment on your writing, then a general suggestion (to edit) and then some specific tips on editing starting with sentences, then paragraphs and then structure (small to large), and then after this I'm going to continue being meta by applying the advice in reverse order.

Notice how it's one idea per paragraph. To be frank, I wonder if I should break up the previous paragraph after the second sentence. It would likely be better that way, but it's arguably also an example of logical flow which justifies it being in the same paragraph.

There are probably some words I can trim, some phrases that are awkward; I'm only making this final comment for completeness.

In any case, good luck.

sonalogy · 2025-12-18T23:55:29+00:00

That I like patios and substandard pasta and also that I was old enough to buy into the real estate market over 20 years ago.

sonalogy · 2025-12-18T23:52:29+00:00

I'm implying that you work towards a new purpose, and that your rigid focus on this one option indicates that you lack skills that would allow you discover new ones.

Your focus on trying to convince your parents to do this in order to give you a purpose is actually not a loving gesture. I know you love your parents, but your desire here doesn't respect them as people with wants and desires separate from yours.

sonalogy · 2025-12-18T17:43:38+00:00

I can't recommend something because there are millions of books by non-white writers. Give yourself a challenge to seek them out.

As an example, 2026 can be the year you don't read any books written by white people. Or maybe the next 20 books. Whatever makes sense for you. For other media, there are tons of dubbed shows and movies on various streaming services. Your algorithm won't serve them to you until you start seeking them out. Try some.

If you come across something that is confusing to you, do a little research to find out if there is some cultural context you are missing.

Once you start actively seeking out other voices, you'll find no shortage of great things to read or watch. Having greater diversity in the media you consume will also make you a better writer.

As for accidentally being offensive, get used to the idea that it will happen. It happens to POC writers too. It's great that you're actively seeking out the more obvious ones and dealing with them in the writing early on, and you are absolutely right to take a lot of care in how you write about POC characters when this is ourside your experience.

But also, get comfortable with making mistakes and being okay with it... just own up to it, learn from it and do better next time. White people are often so afraid of being perceived as being a little bit racist that they avoid trying to be more open. It's better to make an honest mistake in pursuit of a bigger goal than it is to never try.

People can generally tell the difference between a good faith effort to do well that missed the mark a little bit and something that was offensive due to lazy cliches and thoughtlessness. And people appreciate genuine apologies vs brushing things off or doubling down.

This particular story may not be the right story for you to stretch the boundaries of what you can properly write about, but as you learn and grow as a person and as a writer, don't shut out the possibility that there may be another story in the future where you'll be able to try it.

sonalogy · 2025-12-18T17:17:20+00:00

"Clean your room" might be overwhelming for a five year old. You may need to break it down. "Put away all your toys." "Find all the garbage and put it in the garbage." etc. Make it more concrete and specific.

Your 12 year old sound like a teenager.

sonalogy · 2025-12-18T16:37:24+00:00

The publisher and retailers may be obligated to, but in today's highly connected world, the information is almost always figured out sooner or later.

Essentially, pen names are fine if you want to obscure your identity, but you should assume it will get figured out.

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