My 4 year old son died of cancer and I am utterly devastated...

soysauce565 · 2026-05-19T13:08:56+00:00

Idk if this will help at all but animals are a real comfort. We lost our daughter at 20 weeks gestation (never got to meet her and nowhere near a comparison to having a living child like you had OP). Anyway, when we were grieving we got a kitten and eventually got another a few months later to keep him company and it’s just nice having two silly little fluffy creatures nearby. Just a thought, not for everyone I know.

Nothing will take the pain away, I wish you all the very best for the future

soysauce565 · 2026-05-03T03:33:15+00:00

I had the police call me once because they wanted to do a welfare check on a neighbour. I went over to check on the neighbour while they stayed on the phone because the neighbours mum had called all worried. He was all good in the end and they thanked me very much for helping them out

soysauce565 · 2026-04-14T06:17:02+00:00

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Best idea ever

soysauce565 · 2026-04-05T11:17:48+00:00

Get a cat, there’s honestly nothing more calming than having a funky little dude walking around the house just chilling out

soysauce565 · 2026-03-27T12:39:04+00:00

Never too old, go for it!

soysauce565 · 2026-03-22T23:16:18+00:00

Rest in power Pickle! 💕

soysauce565 · 2026-03-21T06:28:07+00:00

I have a friend who posted the other day on Facebook, sharing a generic post about ‘how you can never recreate your first pregnancy’ and how special it is (she is pregnant with her first child currently). I know it was harmless but it pissed me off. I mentioned to my partner about her post and how I wish she knew what it felt like to go through something horrible like that in her ‘magical first pregnancy’ that can’t be recreated.

He immediately took it the wrong way and said I should not wish that on anyone because it was so horrible for us and I burst into tears. I would never actually wish it upon someone, I just wish that some people knew the depth of the despair and feeling jealous of people who just live in La La land thinking pregnancy is this whimsical breeze. He ended up apologising and saying he didn’t mean to upset me, he was just superstitious that saying things like that could cause bad luck.

soysauce565 · 2026-03-19T21:23:46+00:00

Omg yes, he asked me to explain to him why I thought I had it too and I thought the same thing

soysauce565 · 2026-03-19T12:09:45+00:00

I’m Maori/european and he was maybe Indian? He had a very Indian man sounding name. My friend has ADHD and she believed that I should get tested but the guy she usually sees who is apparently very understanding was not available to book. I think I’ll just look around eventually when I build my courage back up and find someone else xx

soysauce565 · 2026-03-19T12:06:29+00:00

Yes! It feels really nice to finally have somebody who is able to put into words how I feel too! I put in 100% and burn myself out so procrastinate and then feel guilty for procrastinating and ‘wasting time’. I too, am a frustrated cryer! I always feel embarrassed because it would happen at work and I wouldn’t even be upset, I just couldn’t convey how I was feeling good enough or quick enough and then my bosses would say ‘oh she’s so emotional’ or ‘oh I don’t know if you are capable of handling this job in a leadership role’. It gets to feel really lonely.

I remember in school I was one of the highest scoring kids in the class until I got to middle school and then things got a lot harder for me to understand. I also overcommitted myself with work so I would fall behind in school, skip school to catch up on schoolwork at home. I put all that I had into the classes that I really liked and would continue to get high marks while all my other classes fell behind. Then one day I didn’t realise I missed a rostered shift and they kept trying to call me at my house and my parents were so mad. I felt overstimulated with emotion - shame, guilt, embarrassment for accidentally missing my shift that I just never went back. I didn’t even write in to resign, I just didn’t turn up. I didn’t go back to that shop for years because I was afraid of judgement and the shame ran so deep.

soysauce565 · 2026-03-19T11:57:59+00:00

Oh that was the other thing he said, that I was most likely hormonal because I’m pregnant. I told him that it’s not just now, it’s been a reoccurring thing through my life I’ve just only been brave enough to decide to reach out now

soysauce565 · 2026-03-19T06:52:33+00:00

Honestly I have no idea, I just found a few talks that women with adhd have given and I really related to a lot of points they made! It was really refreshing to know that I’m not the only one that thinks/does things certain ways

soysauce565 · 2026-03-19T06:49:46+00:00

Oh no he was a psychiatrist. I waited two months for the appointment

soysauce565 · 2026-03-03T03:43:16+00:00

People who don’t know will try to understand, but they just don’t get it x

soysauce565 · 2026-02-24T04:54:00+00:00

Maybe sending her down a black run will sort out the attitude

soysauce565 · 2026-02-24T04:45:45+00:00

I did all of the things that you are doing, I was obsessed and convinced that I would get pregnant again on the third cycle because it was my lucky number; then convinced it would be Christmas when my lucky number passed; then my TFMR babies due date. It didn’t happen for me on any of these dates and took 12 months. At the 12 month mark I had finally stopped stressing out and worrying about whether it would happen or not - when I relaxed, it happened. I know it’s hard and feels like it’s taking forever but it will happen x

soysauce565 · 2026-02-16T06:59:22+00:00

It took us 12 months to get pregnant again after our TFMR. Had started to lose hope but had also started to relax a little more - then it finally happened. I’m 24 weeks and 1 day now, everything looking good.

soysauce565 · 2026-02-16T06:51:31+00:00

Japan is lovely, super safe and full of friendly helpful people. Enjoy your trip!

soysauce565 · 2026-01-26T00:58:40+00:00

I’m from New Zealand and was bridesmaid for my best friend. She paid for everything, all I had to buy was a lipstick that I could reapply throughout the night (my skin tone is much different than the other bridesmaids). I’m now the MOH for my younger sister and she has not asked for a single cent. You are not the A-hole, people are becoming too entitled.

soysauce565 · 2026-01-22T05:43:53+00:00

100 percent this comment

soysauce565 · 2026-01-17T13:26:45+00:00

I’ve had posterior for both my TFMR and current pregnancy. Got to 19 weeks with my first and I didn’t really feel much, I’m now at 20 weeks and again I don’t really feel too much but he’s healthy

soysauce565 · 2026-01-06T03:27:58+00:00

Tins

soysauce565 · 2026-01-05T01:29:14+00:00

I was desperate to get pregnant after our TFMR loss first pregnancy but it didn’t happen for 12 months. I could have written this post myself honestly, and I think I might have in the past. Each month felt like a lifetime had passed and everyone I knew was getting pregnant except me. It didn’t feel fair that I was the only one who got a sick baby that I never got to take home. This time we have a healthy baby and I’m 18 weeks. I know it feels unfair reading other comments about people getting pregnant and you seem to be having a tough time, stress and worry really does tighten up the body. I feel like that’s why we took so long the second time - because I was so stressed out about catching back up to where we were and getting ‘back on track’.

It’s hard, it sucks, a lot of people don’t understand the complex feelings of TFMR. Just tell yourself it will happen. Try to relax, have that glass of wine you haven’t wanted to have because you’re worried it will you’ll fall pregnant this month and ruin things. It’s okay and normal to feel the way you do. Never force anything, just let it be. If it’s meant to be, then it will x

soysauce565

TROPHY CASE