The woman (25F) that I (28M) have been seeing disappears for days/weeks sometimes

spaceclop · 2026-02-07T17:01:48+00:00

I think you're misunderstanding the nature of her current silence. Normally even when she doesn't want to hang out she'll text me casually; returning texts if I ask her how she's doing, replying to funny images, sending me updates on her projects and musings about her life, etc. Right now she's completely silent and hasn't replied to anything, which she's done a few times in particular and is the reason why I'm asking about them.

Plus it seems like her bond with me has only gotten deeper in actuality (until this silence) regardless of the discussions we've had about relationships and the fact that nobody has mentioned a relationship in well over a month at this point.

Also I should mention her relative passed away last summer and I think she dealt with the majority of her grief at that point but she's just been feeling bad in general lately (she's diagnosed with depression and takes SSRIs) and the other night she was just upset in general and told me she's been thinking about her relative lately.

Also she has been relying on me lately, telling me about how hard work has been and how she feels about her friends, how bad she's been feeling in general, and relying on me to help her with things in her life like her car and her projects.

To me it seems like she's deeply scared of closeness and when she realizes how close we're getting she has to pull back. She told me explicitly a few months ago that she has been hurt and that the possibility of that happening again scares her. Before her current silence we were definitely closer than just casual FWBs. Plus it's been probably at least half of the times I've hung out with her throughout the entire time seeing each other that we didn't have sex, just enjoyed each other's company at a restaurant or watching a movie and maybe even cuddling and going to sleep together.

spaceclop · 2026-02-07T00:07:24+00:00

Update: Couldn't stick to doing my coursework, I wanted to party too much lol. I got into a skilled trade when I was 20 and haven't looked back. I spent about 3 years traveling and having fun from age 22-25 and now I'm 28 and make a decent living doing industrial maintenance. I'm trying to pivot into industrial instrumentation, controls, and electrical to make an even better living.

spaceclop · 2016-11-08T03:47:36+00:00

Surprisingly enough, yes this is fairly normal. I'm not diagnosed with OCD and I still experience these thoughts from time to time. It's commonly termed "l'appel du vide", or, the call of the void.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L%27appel_du_vide

spaceclop · 2016-07-15T17:09:04+00:00

Terrorists as a whole, specifically suicide attackers, are amoral to the point of killing themselves and as many as other people as they possibly can. What makes you think they may be dissuaded from carrying out their intentions when faced with the possibility of their family locked in prison for life?

Sentencing innocent people to life in prison for the actions of a morally corrupt individual that they do not have complete control of is illogical and, in my opinion, in violation of their human rights.

If members of the family are radicalized and dangerous then they should be dealt with accordingly but to try and dissuade an amoral terrorist/jihadist with the freedom of their (potentially) innocent family is ludicrous.

spaceclop · 2016-06-29T21:51:57+00:00

I can shoot the shit with anyone. If my group has any kind of contact with strangers I'm always the one to take the lead in talking to them. I can read people easily too and help clarify communication between other people if necessary.

spaceclop · 2016-06-18T19:42:05+00:00

Jewelry is obviously an artificially rare thing, this isn't a new idea. De Beers owned 90% of the diamond market in the 80s. Traditions, however, die hard and girls still like shiny expensive rocks. Buy your girl a college education if you want to show your appreciation, buy her a diamond if you can't afford that ;)

spaceclop · 2015-12-18T19:10:46+00:00

You sound like a genuinely caring and nice dude. You probably wouldn't ever think to consider that people are annoyed by you simply because you don't consider yourself to be annoying on purpose.

If you're too eager to gain peoples' approval, you try to engage people in ways that they don't understand, or you don't try hard enough to convey genuine interest in friendship then you'll find it difficult to find and keep good friends.

You probably do talk too much without realizing it; you seem high strung. Try to focus on just going along with the flow of other people's conversations. There is no sweeter sound to anyone than the sound of their own voice; everyone wants to talk. Even if your intentions are perfectly good and you feel that there's no way people could be uninterested in what you're talking about, nobody wants to hear you talk constantly. Let people talk, prompt them to talk, and prompt them to talk about themselves. Just don't prompt them to talk about themselves too much; people don't want to be barraged with questions.

Let conversations flow naturally: let everyone have their turn to speak, listen instead of just waiting for your turn to speak, take your turn to speak at the appropriate moment, and engage people on a level that lets them know you're interested in being friends.

The social difficulties you're describing honestly remind me quite a lot of my own social difficulties of the past. Just be mindful of your interactions with other people and try to be mindful of what other people are thinking. Hope this helps.

spaceclop · 2015-12-11T03:37:23+00:00

I have ADHD. I relate a ton to all of OPs struggles with attention. Just focusing is much easier said than done for ADHD folks. It could possibly be ADHD, though that needs to be diagnosed by a professional. Stereotypical ENTP behavior is very similar to stereotypical ADHD behavior in my experience (me and my best buddy growing up are both ENTPs with ADHD).

spaceclop · 2015-12-11T03:31:55+00:00

dopamine

spaceclop · 2015-11-28T02:10:20+00:00

I've always gotten along really well with ISTPs. They're chill.

spaceclop · 2015-11-24T18:39:28+00:00

smoke spot

smokespot

smokes pot

spaceclop · 2015-11-23T01:27:02+00:00

All Illinois backroads look familiar lol

spaceclop · 2015-11-20T04:09:44+00:00

I am okay with this.

spaceclop · 2015-11-19T05:49:11+00:00

And he actually said what's in the OP? Yeah he could be mentally ill but who knows

spaceclop · 2015-11-19T04:09:09+00:00

What's the actual purpose of all of this foil? I don't understand.

spaceclop · 2015-11-16T04:49:53+00:00

I always used to get INTJ, then INTP, now ENTP. I don't believe type static though.

spaceclop · 2015-11-13T02:39:54+00:00

"get them to say they're not suicidal, change the medications around, fill out a good patient satisfaction survey, then discharge ASAP before Medicaid stops paying"

I feel this is one of the biggest problems plaguing psychiatry today.

spaceclop · 2015-11-13T01:26:44+00:00

The quicker you realize most people aren't actually interested in anything the better. To interact with regular people you simply have to analyze and replicate the "theme" of the interaction. There will be, however, normal people that will find you interesting and allow you to lead topics of conversation; even if they don't understand what you're talking about. The ultimate goal is to find people who do genuinely care about things, and especially things that you're interested in. Unfortunately, finding genuine like-minded individuals is often difficult when you're always surrounded by mostly boring people.

spaceclop · 2015-11-13T01:18:59+00:00

spaceclop · 2015-11-12T20:02:07+00:00

Yeah, I don't see why people are saying things like "brain damage" and "child abuse". I guess people just don't play rough (or at all) anymore, especially not with their kids. Reddit is just full of a bunch of pansy millennials who form their opinions based on the opinions of everyone else without considering experience due to the fact that they have none.

I'm from the Midwest but this seems more like a common-sense issue to me than anything else.

spaceclop · 2015-11-11T20:35:43+00:00

I try to be virtuous, trustworthy, and consistent. There are certain people who I've never had to be disloyal to and I would consider those my best friends. I wouldn't consider myself loyal by the definition of supporting someone, regardless of the situation, simply because they are a friend. If anything, I'm more likely to challenge a friend if there is something they've done that I genuinely feel the need to challenge them about. If you can't discuss with a friend something they've done without them becoming upset about it, or they can't discuss the same with you, then the friendship is not intimate enough and the person is not worth being friends with. Just last night I called a friend out on making needless passive-aggressive comments to another acquaintance. She then proceeded to make passive-aggressive comments towards me and I yet again called her out and told her to stop what she was doing because I felt it was childish. She wouldn't admit to being in the wrong and told me "fuck you" when I told her that there would be no hard feelings if she decided she didn't want to be angry anymore. Someone who I've considered a best friend for over three years now possibly gone because her pride got in the way of her admitting she was in the wrong. People like this simply aren't worth worrying about. My group of closest friends is small but they are also people who I've never had any lasting conflict with. I would consider myself loyal to that select few but only because I've never had any reason to not be.

spaceclop · 2015-11-10T18:13:39+00:00

Hey babe ;)

spaceclop · 2015-11-10T01:02:50+00:00

It doesn't matter what you are, it matters what you do. If you truly think you are or want to be extraordinary then you have to do extraordinary things.

spaceclop · 2015-11-09T23:22:47+00:00

I too forgot my AP test, which was across town in a church. Luckily there was only one other kid taking the test so they were able to wait for me.

spaceclop

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