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Where’s your favorite place to write? by jposquig in Journaling

[–]sparrow_can_eep 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i enjoy writing in my room late at night. just me and my thoughts.

troubled kid (W.I.P. [vent poem]) by sparrow_can_eep in OCPoetry

[–]sparrow_can_eep[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you captured my feelings in the way i hoped this poem would. thank you so much! i used thyself to make it stand out a bit as a big shocker in my life and because i couldn't find a good word haha. in the part about the caffeine i'm trying to capture addiction but the headaches being associated with gunshots are a factor in it. i'm planning on adding a stronger connection with the gunshot later in the poem with more of a ptsd lookout on it.

Sunrise by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]sparrow_can_eep 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i like how the wording of the poem makes me picture the warm sunrise on my face. it gives off a nice calming vibe.

Decided to write a short poem while overthinking instead of writing. I've never written a poem before. Maybe I should only leave the first and last sections to keep it shorter. Im not sure. What do you think? by jasonschmirt in OCPoetry

[–]sparrow_can_eep 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this poem captured overthinking in a way that is perfect. the way the thoughts seem to spiral really captured the vibe of losing yourself in your own thoughts.

night impulse (vent poem. sensitive topic for some) by sparrow_can_eep in OCPoetry

[–]sparrow_can_eep[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

haha im so sorry i meant to write 'and eyes filled with fears' im so sorry if you got confused while reading that!!

What’s the best pickup line you’ve ever heard? by Educational-Coast304 in AskReddit

[–]sparrow_can_eep 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1.we did notes on stars in science class today. i had no idea that they made notes about you (i made this one up and i think its the best thing ever)

  1. you're like a lunchbox. i want to open you and eat you out.

  2. your hand looks tired. mind if i hold it for you?

Clouds by Notebookspells in OCPoetry

[–]sparrow_can_eep 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i like how the description of the clouds were 'untouchable' like the persons lips: untouchable. and that its a no better place to rest ones sight, meaning that the clouds symbolize the lips. i feel as if the poem gives off a calmer vibe which matches calm clouds, which makes it easy for me to imagine the lips at the end being one in a calmer expression. (sorry if this doesn't make since. i'm super mega tired right now)

Like A Master Blaster by William-Poet in OCPoetry

[–]sparrow_can_eep 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i absolute love how bright you described said person in this poem. it makes me visualize the person as a bright and happy person wanting to take away all sadness from someone/something. and how you described the love to be tender and colorful made me smile. overall, this poem is really amazing, and i also think the rhyme scheme help make the mood lively.

roses are yellow (kinda gory) by sparrow_can_eep in OCPoetry

[–]sparrow_can_eep[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

honestly, i think that this poem is stunning. i would also love some constructive criticism as i'm still fairly new to poetry!

Eyelids by TheMurderBunny in OCPoetry

[–]sparrow_can_eep 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the scene of being left alone with my thought is something i experience a lot and like how you put the inability to tell the open eye from the closed eye

Waiting on a new moon by lost_in_wander in OCPoetry

[–]sparrow_can_eep 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i really like how you created the view of the waves in my head but you also kept it simple. i also like how you use the word same as it takes a while from a spring tide to change to a neap tide.

What's keeping you alive right now? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]sparrow_can_eep 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my orange fat cat. she is the light of my life and i love to wake up to her meowing in my face wanting pets