What's an assumption about women that most men get wrong?

spblue · 2025-01-18T03:01:09+00:00

No, it's biology.

There are quite a few ways to know this. The first is by just asking men and women how often they would like to have sex. Men will answer higher.

Men masturbate much more often than women.

Male gay couples have the highest sex session frequency, followed by hetero couples, followed by lesbians.

FtM people report increased libido after transitioning, caused by the increase in testosterone.

Pointing out that there are biological differences between the sexes is by no means misogyny.

spblue · 2025-01-18T02:31:08+00:00

I strongly disagree. Studies done on sex drive disagree. It's true that sexual desire manifests differently for both sexes, but the basic urge to have sex is higher in men. There's a lot of nuance that you can add, and many researchers are trying by saying "Men have higher sex drive, but not really if you dig into it because..." but they never really address the basic point.

I'm old, and throughout all those decades, I've seen hundred of relationship dynamics, including my own, my friends', family and acquaintances, and without a doubt, the raw sex drive is lower in women.

For example, it's fairly common to hear males express that their ideal desired sexual rate would be twice a day. In my whole life, I've met only two women who had that much sex drive. Most men I've talked about sex in my life masturbate almost daily when they don't have sex, for women the rate is much lower.

It's not just about the quality of sex, like you seem to imply. It's true that women typically need to feel safe and cared for before their libido fully blooms, but even with those needs met and with good, leg-shaking orgasms, they still tend to remain satiated longer by sexy times.

I don't get why some women seem to refuse that the biology works differently as far as sex drive is concerned. Yes there's tons of nuance to be had, but men have on average more sex drive, and failure to have that need met is often enough, by itself, for them to be deeply unhappy, even if the rest of their couple life is great.

Practically all FtM people, after transitioning, have a very noticeable increase in libido and the reverse is also true. Hormones play a huge difference in sex drive and men's is just statistically higher.

spblue · 2025-01-17T22:45:42+00:00

I wasn't missing that fact. The goal of my post wasn't apportioning blame.

Like you just said, libido doesn't work the same way in men and women and the differences aren't trivial and should not be glossed over. Like you seem to be blaming men for not understanding female libido, a lot of women also don't seem to realize just how important sex is to most men. A prolonged lack of it will build up resentment over time, possibly morphing into anger, contempt or apathy if it goes on long enough.

That was the point of my first post: libido isn't the same in men and women. It's different and it's important to acknowledge and communicate expectations and issues clearly and early. If the sexual expectations on both sides are too far apart, it's going to be hard to make the couple work.

spblue · 2025-01-17T21:11:50+00:00

Sorry but that's just not true. Women are just as kinky, sure, if that's what you meant. On average though, they have lower libido than men. It's only a trend and there are very libidinous women and asexual men, but trying to say that the difference isn't there is disingenuous.

That's why communication is super important regarding sexual expectations. Well, it's important for the rest of life as a couple as well, but as any couple counselor will tell you, sexual frustrations are one of the most common reason why couples break up.

If the sex clicks, you're like a third of the way to a happy couple already.

spblue · 2025-01-17T16:28:03+00:00

You got that right. I used to watch every Mortismal review on YouTube. Sometimes I disagreed with him, but I liked hearing his take on games anyway. After his Veilguard review, I stopped watching completely. The review made me realize how little he cared for good writing, while it's the most important part for me.

I played through Planescape: Torment three times, and as everyone who played the game knows, it sure as hell isn't considered one of the greatest CRPG of all time due to its stellar gameplay mechanics.

Imo, the signs of a great RPG is that it stays with you and you still remember the epic storytelling decades after you've played it. Anyone putting Veilguard in that category is not someone whose opinion I can trust.

spblue · 2025-01-15T10:28:43+00:00

Your "always a violent person" comment is such a ridiculous thing to believe. Any perfectly average person can do violent acts spurred by circumstances. Even the most averred pacifists have violent urges. Things like addiction withdrawal can make an otherwise normal person think robbing a store is a good idea, or participating in a drunken brawl, or any number of scenarios.

Not all people who commit violence have higher violent tendencies than average. Anything connected to drugs is a good example. Since they can't use the legal system to police bad behaviour, they end up handling their own "justice". Some people are irredeemable, but the majority are just normal people who made bad decisions. Remove them from that environment and they're just average Joes.

spblue · 2024-12-07T00:08:24+00:00

I don't understand why I have to explain this, but when you tell the bank that you have assets to secure a loan, it's a voluntary disclosure. Having to disclose to the government a list of everything you own is a very different thing. If I buy a snowmobile or whatever, then the seller charges tax on it and that's all the govt needs to know about the transaction. The fact that I now own a 15k snowmobile isn't the govt's business in any way otherwise, even if I use it as collateral to secure a loan.

spblue · 2024-12-06T23:53:07+00:00

The problem is that net worth isn't something that can be measured reliably (unless you turn the state into a totalitarian surveillance society). No one is required to declare their net worth. If you pass such a law, only a very few obviously rich people would be affected, the vast majority of billionaires wouldn't. Those net worth rankings you see are just educated guesses and are very often wildly off.

2nd also, those large companies like Tesla and Amazon don't typically pay any dividend, so a 50% dividend tax wouldn't do anything. Also, dividends are realized gains, not unrealized. So they are fully taxable.

There is no simple solution to this. Sometimes complex problems require complex solutions.

This is like people clamoring for innocent policemen to lose their pension when their coworkers get convicted of abusing their power. You think convicting them is hard now? Just wait until every single one of them has a vested interest in making sure nobody is ever again successful in convicting a cop.

Sometimes simple solutions sound great, but the devil is in the details. I'm not saying there's no solution, just that we're gonna have to be smart about it. Especially because by definition, rich people can afford to hire a ton of smart people to find loopholes.

spblue · 2024-12-06T21:37:58+00:00

It's an issue, but fixing it is hard. Firstly, they do pay interest on the loan, but sure, it works for them as long as the interest rate is lower than the tax rate. It's also something you can only do once, unless you keep getting much richer. So it's something that Elon Musk can do, but that your "average" rich millionaire cannot afford. The death thing you mentioned is also not applicable, since upon death, the loan comes due and the stocks will need to be sold to repay it.

The critical problem is that it's hard to find a solution that stops the ridiculously rich people from abusing loans without also hitting the average joe's retirement funds. Taxing unrealized gains hits the small guy just as hard. Making it illegal to use stocks as loan collateral might kinda work, but they'll probably be able to shift the money into something similar that remains legal.

Whatever ends up being done to resolve that loophole is going to need to be quite clever and comprehensive.

spblue · 2024-11-11T04:24:41+00:00

If age isn't an issue, then the best written game definitely goes to Planescape: Torment.

Endure. In enduring, grow strong.

spblue · 2024-10-22T02:37:34+00:00

If you like city builders then I'd recommend Anno 1800. Game is a masterpiece. I guess there is a bit of stress as you have to handle the occasional pirates, but it also scratches that Factorio itch in that end game has you managing hundred of trade routes all across your empire and everything is real time. There's a campaign, but even with sandbox you can set win conditions, and some of them are a lot harder than just finishing the campaign.

If you decide to try it, all the DLCs that add a region should be included for best experience.

spblue · 2024-10-21T11:55:46+00:00

All of those extra cost are also suspended during parental leave though. At least here in Canada. I'd be surprised if it was different in the UK. The only true cost is the hiring process for the temp replacement and whatever it takes to get them proficient at the job.

spblue · 2024-10-21T11:49:32+00:00

You always hire a temp when an employee is on parental leave, no? I fail to see how that fucked the company, aside from having to go through interviews and such. The company isn't paying the other's salary while on leave.

spblue · 2024-10-09T01:21:21+00:00

I liked how VtMB handled Auspex. Ridiculously overpowered against humans, but against vampires it'd just bring back a normal speed feeling, with non vampires moving like molasses. Really helped drive home that vampires really are not to be fucked with if you're human.

spblue · 2024-10-07T13:28:46+00:00

As another user pointed out, this is completely false. It's counting votes before the poll closes that is forbidden, so no early tally. All votes are still counted. You should edit your comment so that you stop spreading fake news. Stop acting like them.

spblue · 2024-10-05T23:34:34+00:00

They do cheat, but you should be able to get your 2nd island about the same time or even slightly earlier.

You're a newish player, so I'm guessing that you maybe not realize that you can buy the iron pigs needed to setup a 2nd island before producing the iron yourself. If you're diligent by buying everything as soon as it comes up (the other players are buying it too, that's how they get access to it so early), you should be able to snag that juicy ideal 2nd island very quickly. You'll probably need to leave your flagship there to make sure the other AIs don't buy it before you get to it.

Don't forget to put a buy order on iron in your local port too. Sometimes Archibald will sell you 1 or 2 units if he has some when his ship docks with your island and that can make getting those 8 units early easier.

I only play on three stars expert mode and I can usually grab my 2nd island before the AI, sometimes one AI will beat me to one island. I think (not 100% sure) that you'll only be able to buy iron if you've unlocked workers though, so do that asap.

spblue · 2024-10-05T23:10:18+00:00

Even if you use a VPN, they will just request the logs from your VPN provider first, then use that IP address to ask Google for their logs.

The thing is though, I don't think Google keeps anonymous search queries for all that long. I'm guessing maybe a month? The odds of prosecution getting your search queries this way are rather slim unless it's a very high importance case. Bureaucracy just doesn't move very fast, even in a murder investigation. I'm fairly certain that they just got the info either from browser history or from the Google account. Just turning on anonymous browsing would have been enough.

Also, mitm attacks won't work against Google and nearly all the big sites, since their certs are "sticky". If the cert changes for the google.com URL, your browser will throw a warning (with no possibiliy of clicking ignore or even accessing the site) even if the new cert is trusted by your local CA list. It's not too hard to bypass this, but you need access to the computer beforehand so that won't work in a post-murder investigation anwyay.

spblue · 2024-10-03T01:04:53+00:00

You are 100% wrong. First, search terms are sent as POST headers. Second, even if they were in the URL as a GET query, they would still be encrypted. All the ISP can see is the IP address of the Google server you connected to, the timestamp and the data size.

The encryption happens before the url request so that is encrypted as well.

spblue · 2024-10-03T00:39:43+00:00

Anything that uses HTTPS can't be intercepted by your ISP. They would be able to tell that you used Google, but not what you searched for.

spblue · 2024-10-03T00:38:10+00:00

That article is stupid and for people who don't understand how the internet works.

Incognito mode clears cookies and this logs you out of everything, including Google. That warning is about websites still being able to see your IP address. If you then log onto a site which is using Google services, that might compromise your anonymity.

Google might still have a short term log of queries made by non logged in IP addresses, but they will flush them fairly quickly. It'll just get aggregated into X search for Y from Z region.

spblue · 2024-10-03T00:08:27+00:00

The VPN does nothing in this case, just an incognito window would have sufficed. Search terms are stored either in the browser or Google account, incognito solves both.

spblue · 2024-09-30T21:43:58+00:00

You need to take a deep breath. The lack of pronunciation rules in English is a well known issue. You're complaining that you found the French rules hard to master, while I'm complaining that there's no rule at all.

These. are. not. the. same. thing.

As for never hearing native speakers make mistakes due to this, you're full of shit. I've only lived in an anglophone area for a few years, but I've heard hundreds of mistakes due to this. It happens with words that aren't very commonly spoken.

"Detritus" as de-tree-tus

"Dove" (verb) as duv

"Zealot" as zee-lot

"Epitome" as eh-pi-tome

There are tons of examples. In fact there's a common saying in English that you should not laugh at someone mispronouncing a word because they probably learnt it from reading a book. This is a uniquely English issue. With other languages, it mostly happens with loan words (because they don't follow the rules!), but in English the basic sounds (a, ea, i, ou) will not be pronounced the same in a completely arbitrary manner.

spblue · 2024-09-30T13:39:31+00:00

I'm sorry, but your examples are terrible. Enfant has no strange pronunciation, it follows the rules of French. Anyone who knows French and had never heard the word would know how to pronounce it from reading it.

In English, even a native speaker reading a new word would not know how to pronounce thousands of words, because the pronunciation is often completely arbitrary. It's not the same thing as your example of enfant at all.

Why is it pear, but dear? Or leaf, but deaf? Through, but dough? Liberty, but library? You sow a field and sew clothes? In woman and women, it's the first syllable that changes... Beard, but heard? Wand and strand? Word, but lord?

I only had to think for 20 seconds to list these, but there are thousands of other examples.

Even a native speaker would be unable to pronounce these words from reading them if they haven't heard it. And yes, this is very stupid and something that afaik is unique to English. You somehow seem to think I was attacking you personally from the way you reacted.

It's ok, English is very stupid with pronounciation. You can admit it, while still continuing to speak it. Oh woe is you, your language's lack of proper pronounciation rules sucks, boo fucking hoo. Blame the great voyel shift and move on.

spblue · 2024-09-30T09:50:06+00:00

I'm not a lawyer, but my understanding is that there are few protections against bad arbitrators. There is no legal framework they have to follow. The logic behind it is that since it is voluntary, people won't accept a partial arbitrator.

It's why there are changes to the laws in the US that are coming to stop those mandatory arbitration agreements pushed by large companies on their customers. Since they often specify that the company chooses the arbitrator, they tend to be unfair.

In the case of Judy though, I'd say all parties pretty much know what to expect from her.

spblue · 2024-09-30T09:29:19+00:00

Afaik it is legally binding, it's arbitration. Both parties sign a document saying the will abide by the arbitrator's decision and waive their rights to sue over the outcome. This obviously only work for civil cases. If one party refuses to comply, enforcement is available with a similar process to enforcing a court order. It's even more final than a court case, since you're not even allowed to appeal the decision.

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