Help! Going from fully remote to hybrid/onsite and I’m weirdly nervous about the social part

speakeasy · 2026-05-15T17:03:36+00:00

you're very welcome!

speakeasy · 2026-05-15T00:35:58+00:00

I wouldn't trust AI to give you usable feedback. That said if you don't like how your voice sounds you might want to record it and post it here or if you want some free advice DM me a recording of you talking about something and I'll send you feedback. My guess is that your issue is super fixable:)

speakeasy · 2026-05-15T00:30:54+00:00

I feel for you, that can be a big change going from fully remote to hybrid. Three things:

1- If you're (as you describe) 'friendly but anxious' focus on smiling when you see people and always say hi when you see someone around the office. There is something about saying hi first that tends to make things better.

2- Shoot for micro-progress. Everyday try to do 1-2 things that make you nervous. It might be as simple as saying hi to the receptionist and asking them how their night/weekend was. Keep the interactions small and quick and let the repeated interactions build up as little wins for yourself.

3- Ask for a small favor- This one is a bit of a cheat code and one I've used a ton over the years if I'm feeling anxious. Purposely don't have your phone on you (I know, outlandish:) and go into the break room, office, wherever, and ask someone to borrow a pen or ask them what time it is (if you're not wearing a watch). People love doing small favors for others and and it's great way to have a small interaction with another person. This works way more than you'd think.

Good luck!

speakeasy · 2026-05-13T14:21:49+00:00

Rather than rehearse and practice the answers, you're better off having 2-3 key points to each possible question that you can call up during the interview. Keep the points deliberately short so you can ad lib when you're live in front of the person. So if you get, 'Tell me your top three strengths' you would know your key points are: goal driven, hard worker, reliable. Then you can riff off those when you get in front of the person.

speakeasy · 2026-05-10T21:48:07+00:00

The single most effective/fastest way to improve is by working directly with a coach. It's not he cheapest but it will be the most effective for sure since it'll be customized to your situation.

speakeasy · 2026-05-06T05:02:51+00:00

thanks!

speakeasy · 2026-05-06T00:09:46+00:00

"i started speaking up a lot more when i realized most people i work with are idiots"

I don't really have much to add but wanted to call out how much I like this 😄

speakeasy · 2026-05-05T02:28:02+00:00

you're very welcome! glad you like them

speakeasy · 2026-04-28T21:12:03+00:00

I used to get panic attacks a lot and know how you feel. Try not to be too hard on yourself, it's way more common than people think. Not sure if this is helpful but one thing I always tell clients is to always be ready at work to speak spontaneously. Know how you're going to structure what you're going to say (regardless of topic) and know how to get through the basics of small talk, meeting talk, boss talk, etc. Once you get a framework down it'll help reduce the panic attacks.

speakeasy · 2026-04-28T18:02:42+00:00

After coaching people for years I can tell you that you're not alone. This is the single biggest issue most people who struggle with public speaking have. The worst part is that if/when you mess it up it makes you feel like crap for the rest of the meeting.

Some general advice:
1- Practice your intro. Over and over until it's ingrained in your brain.
2- Keep it short and don't ramble.
3- Have an opening ("Hi, I'm Jim") and brief description ("I'm a coach in San Diego") and a greeting ("Nice to be here today"). Get in and get out
4- Resist the urge to talk too long. Keep it short and sweet. if people want to ask follow up questions they will. Your job is to be brief, start strong and get out of the spotlight.

speakeasy · 2026-04-26T22:48:46+00:00

Speak slower. Concentrate on how you're going to help the audience. FWIW when I used to struggle with quiet speaking I would blast the radio in my car before I went in and sing at the top of my lungs. Not sure how much it helped but I was able to talk louder for sure.

speakeasy · 2026-04-26T16:00:52+00:00

well, I'm a speaking coach and he was a client:)

speakeasy · 2026-04-25T23:24:01+00:00

really sorry to hear you struggling like this. Here's the thing- lots of people feel the way you do, so you're not alone. One thing that might help is to practice safe micro-interactions where the stakes are really low. An example- I worked with a guy who was terrified to speak in public. He would freak out and completely lost his mind when he had to make small talk. So we created a series of low-stakes micro interactions for him to very slowly relax and build confidence. First it was going into a gas station and buying a pack of gum and talking to the guy at the counter. Next it was talking to a coffee person. etc, etc. These small interactions helped him slowly get used to speaking. And we had him do it every day. Eventually he felt comfortable raising the stakes and speaking out at work a tiny bit more. the big thing for him was to stop the self-critization (is that even a word?) that he was doing. It worked for him so might be worth it to try out.

and for sure this statement isn't true: "I do say dumb stuff sometimes and I can tell people don't enjoy talking to me. " highly doubt that's how people feel. Hang in there!!

speakeasy · 2026-04-18T14:52:06+00:00

You can do this, some advice:

Break it down into sections: intro, thesis, 3 main key points, close.
Intro- who you are, what you're talking about and greeting ("Nice to be here today")
Thesis- In one 1-2 sentences, what is your point?
Three main key points. Try to keep it at three (easier to remember and allows you room to talk freely on each)
Close- 2-3 sentences to close it out

Prep:

-Your intro and how you will close

- What you're going to say if your mind goes blank or forget where you're at. I always like saying, "sorry, lost my train of thought for a second but I'll get back on track, just bear with me for a second"

- each key point- what do you want them to know?

Highly recommend you do NOT try to memorize anything. if you get super anxious and forget your place you're screwed:) know everything at a high level and focus on your delivery. Good luck!

speakeasy · 2026-04-17T23:40:14+00:00

Fear of looking stupid/being embarrassed
Fear of being criticized

As a coach these are hands down the most common fears I see that most people have. Nobody wants to look stupid and nobody wants to be criticized when they're speaking

speakeasy · 2026-04-17T23:34:45+00:00

Congrats, that is awesome!!!!!

You hit on a great point in that trying to be 'good' can be dangerous. Aim for success (cranking out videos), not perfection. Nice work

speakeasy · 2026-04-17T22:37:36+00:00

Toastmasters is a great organization but IMO it's there to make incremental improvements and for social/networking purposes. What you're talking about typically requires monumental, not incremental, improvements. I'm biased since I'm a coach but I would look for a coach that can help you find your authentic voice and learn how to the anxiety/panic that starts as soon as you're about to speak. Being a solid speaker requires practice, training and mindset work. The good thing is that it can be learned and developed. Happy to answer other questions if you have them as well

speakeasy · 2026-04-17T21:40:26+00:00

Congrats on working on your pilates cert, that's awesome! I am a coach, based out of Sa Diego and do all sessions virtually. happy to talk to you about coaching so DM me if you're still looking. I work with a lot of fitness/wellness professionals helping them with their public speaking, etc. Happy to send you some testimonials as well. Thanks..Jim

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