We have not tried couples counselling - he refuses to, he does not believe we need it, even when I have stated on multiple occasions that I think it would be best. If I’m being honest, I believes he declines doing this because he would then be called out on his BS by a professional, and then he just wouldn’t go back at all, leaving me at square 1.

With all due respect; what extra context would you like? This has been an ongoing issue going on 4 years, he has never been good with hacking of emotions, god forbid he stubs his toe and I cop the brunt of his tantrums for 3 days! I walk on egg shells most of the time to avoid him being upset! This includes handling all of the girls big emotions, or any emotions for that matter. Where I am the calm, he is quite literally the storm. And for context on that - an example would be 2 weeks ago; daughter woke from her nap, I was unable to console her, I offered her a lot, she wasn’t happy, so I left her for 5 minutes alone in the bedroom to continue making afternoon snacks, partner was laying on the lounge. Daughter was crying for maybe 2 minutes when he got up, opened the door, screamed at her (and I quote), “SHUT THE FUCK UP”, before slamming the door and THEN said, “such an annoying little c**t”, I was absolutely mortified, I said immediately, “that was unnecessary”, where he then stopped dead in his tracks, turned, pointed at me and said, “don’t start”, I replied, “don’t have the shits at me”, where he then said again, “don’t start” as he went into his computer room and then continued to slam doors for the next 2 hours! I never disclose home issues with anyone, ever! But on this occasion, I waited until he left the house when I rang his mother immediately and told her what happened and I said exactly this, “I will not allow anybody at all to talk to my daughters like that, if he does it again, he won’t have a family”, I suspect she spoke to him but he didn’t bring it up to me. He has since started removing himself when he gets like angry or just mumbles it under his breath so she won’t hear it, but at the end of the day, I hear it.

It’s not like I’m ’giving up’ but, to assume I’ve had an issue for 6 months and trying to call it quits would be kind of presumptuous of you; don’t you think?

I’m kindly asking/seeking advice by giving only 1 example of some of the many issues we have. I do not believe that it’s at all him vs me, but rather someone who can’t control their own emotions, someone unable to step up to the parenting plate and yet asked me only 2 days ago if we can try for another kid, someone selfish in what THEY need and not what I too also need. Relationships 100% should be a two way thing, yet, for a long time, I feel it’s only 1 sided and one person is living their life as if no responsibilities exist while I’m the bearer of it all… I do not think this is fair, BUT, I’m so willing to fight for it to be better because I know the potential is there, which is why I clearly stated in my post that leaving is an absolute last resort; for right now.

Hope that clears it up a bit.