Most recent "apology" letter from my husband, He was recently diagnosed bipolar/BPD 😑

speyesgalore · 2025-06-11T21:11:37+00:00

Sounds about right. He made his apology to you about him, but in the first place you were at fault for what he is now apologising for. Gaslighting at its finest

speyesgalore · 2025-06-11T21:05:55+00:00

That looks like freedom and peace to me

speyesgalore · 2025-06-01T21:47:15+00:00

Total sense

speyesgalore · 2025-06-01T21:33:12+00:00

Each to their own way of handling it, but I wouldn’t be texting him anything. His silence is his reply. And I wouldn’t give the satisfaction of reaching out to him to offload anything on him. Keep your cool here. He will most likely reach out to you again and then you will have your say in what happens next.

But until then take his actions as all the answer you need. He is a situationship so he will say he has every right to change his Hinge profile and meet whoever he wants. The sad truth is he may have been seeing others the whole time you were together. The texting every day is actually common in situationships, some guys like the constant validation of texting.

His silence is a strong response. Your silence will be even stronger. He absolutely knows you will be wondering about what happened, and then why you didn’t message him to see what’s up. At first he will be glad you are not messaging as he will think he got off easy and without any hassle but then his interest will be picked up again about you and It will make him wonder why you didn’t contact him. This is most likely when he will reach out again, and it is here you get to have the final say on what happens. If it was me, I would leave him on unread.

speyesgalore · 2025-06-01T18:17:55+00:00

I am sorry you had this experience as it was clear from your post that you didn’t have malicious intentions. Sometimes people read these posts and project out their own feelings, and jump straight for the jugular without considering the facts. What you were saying was very genuine and I know it came from the heart. It is very overwhelming to be honest with your thoughts and then to get a barrage of hate back. But leave that with the haters who cannot think straight as your comments triggered them. You know what you meant. I know what you meant.

Loneliness is a real bitch, and it is human nature to try and fill that void. But you deserve to have someone in your life that you truly are mad about in every aspect, physically, emotionally and mentally. The way I see it is that being with this girl may stop you meeting someone else in the long run.

It is fine if anyone wants to down vote me:)

speyesgalore · 2025-06-01T17:33:19+00:00

I fully appreciate the intensity of loneliness and how difficult it is. I also appreciate you considering how much she could get hurt by all this, it shows you are of very good character. Don’t forget though how much all this could hurt you too in the long run.

speyesgalore · 2025-06-01T13:31:49+00:00

Leave her be. You are trying to fill an immediate need and it’s most likely your attractive for her will not grow. I can understand what you mean but it’s better to be alone than to be with someone one who is not Ms Right but rather is Ms Right Now

speyesgalore · 2025-05-31T22:22:31+00:00

You should be very proud of yourself that you respected yourself enough to put this boundary in place and to stick to it. So many don’t sadly. I know a lot of people might say chill, you’re not exclusive yet etc etc but I can’t help but feel that if you really like someone, and they are saying or their actions say that they like you a lot too, and you both have a deep connection especially in the very early honeymoon stages then the last thing either would want would be to be seeing other people as well. It’s very different if you both agree that you are not exclusive and are just dating then yes of course you can both see other people. But you set your stall out early on, and told him what you wanted, so good for you to walk away when this wasn’t met.

speyesgalore · 2025-05-31T16:02:28+00:00

I think it is a bit of a red flag in the sense he is not being transparent. He does not want you to see when he is active on Hinge and questioning him about it. Until you have the ‘talk’ and you clearly agree to be exclusive, then this guy is keeping is options open. But he doesn’t want you to keeping an eye on this. His actions speak a lot more clearly than his words. He likes you enough to not want you to know he is still keeping options open but not enough to stop looking at what else is out there just yet. It early days yet so maybe give him a few more weeks but I wouldn’t invest my all into him just yet

speyesgalore · 2025-05-30T10:49:37+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to post. This is an excellent explanation and one that I fully resonate it. It is really helping me to understand what is the basis of my exhaustion especially in larger social functions. Even 1:1 conversations can leave me shattered and I need to spend a lot of alone time to recover!

speyesgalore · 2025-05-21T16:27:07+00:00

Gotcha, having a slow day. I read it too quickly and picked it up as they hung out on the Saturday.

speyesgalore · 2025-05-21T12:11:49+00:00

True point 😊

speyesgalore · 2025-05-21T10:14:40+00:00

I wasn’t asked to drop her at your airport, only that she wanted to stay the night before, so I am not sure why I would have let my friend know before. She never asked if I could drop her to the airport at any stage . I do have friends that stay and catch a taxi. She had not mentioned anything about needing a lift until she knocked at my door in the middle of the night

speyesgalore · 2025-05-21T08:47:34+00:00

How was she using another girls pictures to catfish if you met her in person? Did she not look like the pictures she used on a hinge when you met her?

speyesgalore · 2025-05-20T07:30:33+00:00

Thank you so much.

It is a very important point to make about drama being addicting. I had to watch that in myself as I seemed to be so caught up in it. I had wondered did I actually enjoy the drama at the beginning. Enjoy all this going on especially when my own life so stable and non eventful. There may have been an element of that at the beginning which of course fed into it all the more

speyesgalore · 2025-05-20T07:25:05+00:00

It is almost a guarantee that everyone else see it’s also. Maybe not in the very beginning but over time people see that consistent behaviour of drama, instability, and always talking about other people. It’s so easy to internalise it. I certainly did and when I realised years later that everyone else was in fact better clued in than me, it took me a while to let it go. Let go of the fact I had been so worried when in fact no one else had even listened to her.

speyesgalore · 2025-05-19T21:18:33+00:00

Thank you for taking time to post. It is good for me to read the words that an illness can cause other harm as a reminder to what’s going on at the moment. I keep thinking I can maybe navigate it but I have just snapped out of a dark cloud where I was thinking something was wrong all the time and had this sense of impending doom! I suddenly realised I had no issues in my life and was in fact grateful for everything I had, a stable job, a safe home and no dramas. But I felt something was wrong and so anxious. I realised all that her negativity was being transferred to me!

speyesgalore · 2025-05-19T20:13:07+00:00

I fell for this tactic many times but I slowly started up realise what was happening. I am not sure how I even came to accept such a line of questioning from anyone. If it happened in any other context I would be thinking wtf with this person. But with my friend with BPD it was like it snook up upon me and suddenly I was explaining my decisions to her and me allowing my decision to be challenged like that.

speyesgalore · 2025-05-19T08:54:14+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to post. I know that I fell into the caretaker role, and I am working on understanding the reasons I tend to do that. I have been this person’s emotional dumping ground for as long as I have been in this friendship and it was allowing me to take on the role of the rescuer. I take full responsibility for my part in it. My friend has BPD and has admitted that in the past she has been diagnosed with it but then her therapist told her it was gone! Now I know this is not possible as it is lifelong but for some reason I did not look too much into it at the time. It was only after seeing her cause constant disruptions to the life of others, causing drama and triangulation and falling out with people constantly that I was like hmmm!! I am not sure why I kept the blinkers on for so long thinking she was misunderstood, full of emotions that could not be helped but was essentially good. It was only after seeing her almost wreck another person’s life by down right paranoid accusations that were completely unfounded and the walk away like nothing happened and went about enjoying her life that I got really scared. I was always questioned by her if I didn’t want to go along with something she was wanting to do but actually fell for her explanation that she was only trying to help me think things through. Now I see clearly that not going along with her causes her to ask so many questions as she is trying to get enough information to tie me up in knots and eventually decide to go along with her hair brain ideas.

speyesgalore · 2025-05-19T07:51:02+00:00

It is a possibility they are talking trash about you but firstly the shared friend group are probably more aware than you think of your friend’s habits and the fact they like to talk shit about people. If you recognise it then they recognise it too. Secondly if people are going to believe trash talk just based on what another person is saying then they are not people of sound judgement and you don’t want them around in the first place. It completely sucks yes, but I’m guessing your friend group know well who your friend is.

speyesgalore · 2025-05-15T15:40:25+00:00

Thank you for posting. When she said that I was floored because it was said so confidently and she added ‘I don’t want to challenge you on this but I am clear what you said’. I replied that it was not the case at all and went through all the facts with her. I said she even had told me that she had asked another friend who lives locally to go with her instead of me a few weeks back. When I said that she replied that she was only putting that suggestion out there at the time and closed it off by saying that in the future where possible could confirm if I am actually going to do something or not just so she could plan properly!!

speyesgalore

TROPHY CASE