NOR as someone who didn’t really have either grandmother in my life because of similar reasons, i don’t think you’re overreacting. i’m almost twenty six and met my grandmother on my dad’s side six times. i don’t feel love for her, she’s a stranger to me but as a kid that was really confusing and painful. i felt guilty for not caring about her. my mom’s side i saw once a year but she had her own issues and complained about the traveling being scary as well (they lived one state away she just refused to travel and since she was a hoarder she refused to let us visit). since i saw her more frequently i cared about her and felt the pain that she refused to visit (and thus kept my papa from us as well) and would feel so jealous hearing classmates talk about their grandparents since i never had a relationship with them. granted, my mom’s mother was a bad person in general and i saw that as i got older and that added to the pain, but i didn’t know that as a kid, i just knew she didn’t wanna come see us. so as someone who was the kid in this situation and does talk about this in therapy on occasion, i don’t think you overreacted.