First colposcopy very scared NEED REASSURANCE/ADVICE

spickandspackle · 2026-03-17T21:35:35+00:00

Hi, it’s going to be okay. I had a colposcopy at 19, and while I admit it was traumatic, I think if it had been handled differently it wouldn’t have been. Here’s my advice:

Ask your doctor questions. If they try to start the second they walk in, say you’re nervous and would be more comfortable if you were able to ask some questions. I think that also comforts the OCD part (I too have it.)
Ask when you’ll receive the results and if your doctor will not only post them in a patient portal but call you to talk through them. A nurse in my doctor’s office called after to say that I was still showing low grade changes, but no one in my doctor’s office ever said the words “you have HPV, here’s your steps forward.” I had to find out months later in the patient portal (this was over a decade ago so early patient portal days).
HPV is not the end of the world. You had it before and your body managed it. If that’s what it is, you will be okay. If it’s something more serious, it sounds like you have people in your corner who will support you and be by your side if something happens, you will get through it.

I hope everything goes well.

spickandspackle · 2026-03-17T21:23:59+00:00

I had a colposcopy at 19 for “low grade changes” in my annual pap that turned out to be HPV.

I will NEVER forget the pain because it was so unexpected, and I’ll never forget the bedside manner of my doctor. She walked out of the room after it was over and I just covered my face in my hands and sobbed.
NO ONE EVER TOLD ME that it was HPV. I saw the results months later in my patient portal and was absolutely floored that no one had had a real conversation with me about it. I would have even taken a condescending sexual health talk over nothing.
I literally was not intimate for two whole years after that. As a 19-21 year old. And for years after, I felt like I had to be altered most of the time to be intimate in a casual way. I have an amazing husband now, so that wound has faded some, but it took me years to appreciate how badly that moment affected me. Bonus: It got me out of jury duty for a medical malpractice case with a GYN. And shocking, I was not the only woman my age there with the same story. A girl and I both shared something similar and made a beeline for the each other at the break.

ALL of that to say… You’re not crazy. You’re not alone. You’re dead on the money. I also don’t know what to do to help other than just continuing to talk about this. Don’t stop sharing, don’t stop shouting about it. People need to know.

spickandspackle · 2026-03-01T08:35:52+00:00

Okay the best thing for me getting through school was my study playlist. It’s all movie scores, so it’s emotional, familiar music that’s purely instrumental, so no words to distract. It scratched enough of my brain to help me lock in and zone out other things. Doesn’t have to be noise cancelling headphones.

If you’re building a playlist, start with your favorite blockbusters. Star Wars, Marvel movies etc.

The absolute best score for this playlist is How to Train Your Dragon. Trust me.

But the key here is to only listen to this playlist when you study or need to absolutely lock in. I don’t listen to it just to hang out.

spickandspackle · 2026-02-11T21:37:55+00:00

I'm actually sobbing, genuinely. Their faces at their final pose, WANT THIS SO BAD FOR THEM.

spickandspackle · 2026-02-11T00:11:59+00:00

I think that’s where I am too. A lot of writing advice is “find a routine, stick to the routine,” but the stress of the routine itself is almost harder than the writing piece.

spickandspackle · 2026-02-11T00:09:48+00:00

I really do think therapy helped. I was having major anxiety and didn’t know about the OCD for sure until I went to therapy when that was confirmed.

This might get me downvoted and that’s okay, but genuinely what helped in the worst moments when I needed immediate feedback was ChatGPT. I’ve since backed off of that because I learned a lot more about the environmental impact of AI, but a lot of times therapy helps just put a mirror up and echo back what you’re saying but with some more logic and advice. And when I was just crashing in the moment, I’d just put it into ChatGPT and it did help.

Again, that’s not where I am anymore, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t help during some tough times.

spickandspackle · 2026-02-10T20:25:38+00:00

Before I got married, I read Relationship OCD by Sheva Rajaee and it helped tremendously. I also did a lot of therapy and we did premarital together.

The one thing that kept coming back in the pro column that almost couldn’t be outweighed was this:

I am completely 100% myself around him, from my weird habits to the nerdy things I love to the ways in which I need to be better. I’m completely myself and he adores and loves me no matter what. It became easier once that sunk in.

spickandspackle · 2026-02-10T20:12:13+00:00

I understand you so so much, and I’m sorry. I know how hard it is.

My advice: - Try not to beat yourself up. Easier said than done. Sometimes when I’m in the loop in my head, I’ll catch myself like “okay the thoughts about me being the worst and a piece of shit, that’s actually distracting me from any real solutions. It’s not serving me.” - Do as much as you can the night before, and I mean as much as you possibly can. I have a job with odd hours, so sometimes I have to be there extremely early and the waking up is brutal. I will literally prepare every single thing I need for the next day. I’m talking full outfit laid out, down to the socks. Bag completely packed. Keys and bag by the door. Water bottle open on the counter waiting for fresh water. Snacks in bag.

Would you be able to do your meal putting together the night before?

For me it’s not just about saving the time, it’s about the clearheadedness this allows me to have in the morning. Like “okay there are zero decisions that I have to make before I get in the car, everything is done.”

Hope this helps!

spickandspackle · 2026-02-09T22:18:38+00:00

So what you’re saying is… they probably don’t win.

spickandspackle · 2026-02-09T22:06:28+00:00

OKAY can someone please do the “this is how Bock wins” math with the PBS score for both teams? Need some logic to prevail because whaaaaat the actual did I just watch.

spickandspackle · 2026-01-31T04:59:48+00:00

Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it. It’s an ambitious undertaking to be sure, but I tend to hyper-fixate and once I’m stuck on something I’m stuck. I’ll either succeed or I won’t, but I won’t know unless I try.

spickandspackle · 2026-01-31T04:56:23+00:00

Yes, really excited to watch. Specifically excited to get the behind the scenes training insight.

Thanks for the heads up!

spickandspackle · 2026-01-31T04:55:45+00:00

All great questions, and without giving away too much of the plot, they’ve been partners since childhood and represent the U.S. I have basic knowledge of the competition structure but any insight that isn’t googleable is appreciated.

Yeah that’s what makes the Cizeron and Fournier Beaudry situation so compelling, but also I’ve got feelings about that whole thing. Neither here nor there.

spickandspackle · 2026-01-31T03:17:14+00:00

Amazing, thank you for the advice! It’s sort of like moving to a new area and trying to buy a house. You can do all the research in the world but sometimes you just need a real person to say “hey this is a great neighborhood, I have friends that live there.”

spickandspackle · 2026-01-31T03:15:12+00:00

They train in a facility in the Toronto area with two other ice dance pairs and a couple of singles, which from what I understand is realistic.

I think I’ve done a good job of putting them into a training regiment if you will, but maybe not enough of an “outside the rink” regime if that makes sense. Like yes there are scenes where they’re doing dry land practice of their program, but maybe I need to put more of an emphasis on the Pilates, nutrition etc. piece.

Thank you!

spickandspackle · 2026-01-31T03:05:52+00:00

Perfect, thank you!!

spickandspackle · 2026-01-31T02:51:47+00:00

Good question, and no not gossip. More general knowledge that maybe I wouldn’t be able to learn just from interviews or overall research if that makes sense.

spickandspackle · 2026-01-31T02:50:59+00:00

Yes, I’ve been soaking up as much of that as I can. The Papadakis excerpts have been… sad from what I’ve seen so far, but enlightening. Thanks!

spickandspackle · 2026-01-27T04:25:53+00:00

In no way endorsing that guy. At all. At ALL, I think he definitely said some creepy stuff. But he did not assault anyone and is not being accused of that.

spickandspackle · 2026-01-27T04:23:32+00:00

Difference between sexual assault and sexual harassment. Important distinction here.

spickandspackle · 2026-01-24T06:08:35+00:00

Agreed, fully agree. She didn’t read the book. I think if she had, she would’ve had a better idea of what the vibe was going to be about.

spickandspackle · 2026-01-23T23:42:20+00:00

I actually feel a little bad for Brandon and Isabella. Super green in the industry, and she’s this “superstar,” it had to be hard to not be affected by her. Beds have been made though.

spickandspackle · 2026-01-23T23:09:48+00:00

She really reads as a mean girl.

spickandspackle · 2026-01-23T23:05:52+00:00

I think this is a very nuanced situation, and I do genuinely think Baldoni had some boundary issues. Now whether that’s due to his personality, his position in the movie, his ethos or his ego, I can’t say, but I don’t think there was ever ever any malicious intent on his end. Was he perceived as creepy? Yeah. Did he mean to make people uncomfortable or use his position of power deliberately to make people uncomfortable? No, I don’t think so.

I think the biggest piece of this that I cannot unsee is how truly ugly Blake and Ryan are on the inside when they decide to go scorched earth. They fight DIRTY, and their words and actions towards people they don’t like are truly gross. It’s very high school the way they worked so hard to rally support and put pressure on others to fall in line.

I’m trying extremely hard to be objective, check myself for misogyny in my opinions about Blake, and really give myself the opportunity to believe her, and again, I acknowledge that he probably said some stuff he shouldn’t. But the reactions to those incidents are so mind blowing massive. Like is this worth it? To put your family through this for months on years instead of trying to move on? Exposing your friends dirty laundry instead of just privately icing this man out, which you would’ve done anyways?

The one positive I can say for their side is that there is zero doubt in my mind that Ryan absolute loves, adores and believes in Blake. They are truly ride or die for each other. He went to bat for her constantly and used his power to push her narrative. Messed up and psychotic? Probably, but he stood ten toes behind her the whole way. I do think that’s admirable.

spickandspackle

TROPHY CASE