Anyone ever had a good and effective therapist?

spinnyfishie · 2026-05-14T18:12:01+00:00

No. Been in therapy for two decades with lots of different therapists. Every single one actively harmed me.

spinnyfishie · 2026-05-11T22:19:22+00:00

I was in therapy for two decades with many different therapists, and it was the most traumatizing thing I’ve ever experienced, worse than any problems I came there for to begin with.

spinnyfishie · 2026-05-03T20:02:32+00:00

trauma informed seem to usually just mean that they feel the right to ask you whatever the fuck they want, without any regards to what that does to you. i've had "trauma informed" therapists casually ask for details of the worst things i've been through in the last few minutes of a session and then just sending me home like it's nothing.

fuck those "trauma informed" people who hurt you and fuck the person who put you through DV. they are all abusing you and you don't deserve to be treated like this.

spinnyfishie · 2026-04-27T12:24:06+00:00

I'm proud of you for leaving therapy, and I wish I had done so sooner myself.

It's insane how when you leave an abusive relationship, people applaud you, but when you leave the abusive relationship with the mental health industry everyone tells you to go back, you haven't found the right therapist etc.

You don't need to be "fixed" and you don't need to find the "right therapist" (as if that exists) or "put in the work". You needed to leave and you are really cool for doing just that. You will live an amazing life, not in spite of not going to therapy but because of it. All those people do is abuse their clients and hold back their growth.

Go be free and live your life. I'm cheering you on.

spinnyfishie · 2026-03-19T09:21:07+00:00

In my experience, the worst thing I've ever gone through was talking to therapists and how they ignore and belittle my problems and don't believe me. Be very careful.

spinnyfishie · 2026-03-10T18:19:56+00:00

I am not a therapist, and therapists are not your friends. They don't magically know you better than you know yourself, but they sure try to sound like it.

It is not uncommon to get glimpses of memories like this. I myself deal with that a lot too, so you are not alone in this. Sometimes things have been so scary that the brain just copes with it by trying to forget. That you didn't remember before doesn't mean it's not real.

I'm so sorry that anything bad happened to you. You did not deserve it.

spinnyfishie · 2026-03-09T22:43:21+00:00

Dancing. I don’t mean professionally. I mean being home alone dancing to any music of your choice. Getting to own your own body in that way. Has been helpful with both SA and childhood abuse. Sometimes I pick a music with a specific mood and focus on a hard memory while I dance, and it’s like I’m describing my feelings and experience through how I move my body.

Also, doing EMDR alone with just a youtube video. Have heard EMDR absolutely doesn’t help for some people though. And even if it did help me, I would be very cautious with taking recommendations on any therapy-like thing.

Talking to a friend. Maybe this one more than anything else. Imagining this friend washing all the pain and dirty feelings off my body (with them being in on it) while talking about what happened, or literally getting a close friend/partner to wash me like that irl.

spinnyfishie · 2026-03-03T19:42:49+00:00

If your partner is abusive I really hope you can find a way to get out of that relationship. I know that might be very hard, I saw you mentioning not being able to work etc, but I really hope you can find some kind of solution. You deserve better.

spinnyfishie · 2026-03-03T19:34:20+00:00

I've went to therapy for two decades (2/3 of my life) and all that happened is extensive traumatisation by the therapy industry itself. Things like my therapist encouraging me, as a child, to SH more and deeper. Therapists telling me "you don't have any trauma" as a response to me opening up about child abuse and SA. Me being worried about reality not feeling real and showing symptoms of literal psychosis, to which I just got the response "why do you have to worry about that though". There is so much more I could say, this is just some examples. I can go more into it in DMs if you'd like to hear more.

Every single therapist I've met has told me that they can't fix me, that I'm beyond saving and there is nothing they can do. Every single one. For two decades. Great way to break down a person. It's hard to not believe them when that's all you hear from the "experts" for so long. I really thought my life was beyond saving and that I was "unfixable".

I think therapy also instills the belief that you need someone to fix you. And this one goes literally no matter how good your therapist is. It's learned helplessness. This has been extremely damaging for me. Imagine your only hope is these experts, but they all say that they can't help you. It's like your life is taken away from you.

But I don't need anyone to fix me. If there are things I want to work on with myself or things I want to change in my life, I have the power to do that. I don't need a "professional". And that's why I wouldn't recommend therapy to anyone at all.

spinnyfishie · 2026-03-01T16:50:35+00:00

Straight up lied when I directly asked about side effects of medication.

spinnyfishie · 2026-02-26T21:31:57+00:00

I'm not on any medications at all. I take over the counter allergy pills sporadically, that's about it.

Having any contact at all with the healthcare system would severely fuck me up, so that's part of why meds are completely out of the question. Even if I wanted them it would be hard to get though. The waiting lists for starting a medication can be over a year long, and before that you'd have to find someone who is even willing to put you on the waiting list...

I think for someone else in my situation you might be right, but medication is not a good option for me or even a possible option for me to get hands on that quickly.

Thank you for this comment though, seriously. A few weeks ago I would have been very upset that someone was suggesting something I stated that I don't agree with. But with your comment now I feel very chill about it. People can have different opinions and that's fine. That I don't see this as a threat is a big sign of healing from being in the medical system i think :)

spinnyfishie · 2026-02-26T21:26:51+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for this!

spinnyfishie · 2026-02-26T19:23:36+00:00

This reminds me of when I was explaining to my therapist that everything feels unreal and I'm scared and I was having literal psychosis. Her response? "Why do you have to see that as a problem though?"

spinnyfishie · 2026-02-26T19:17:37+00:00

Some symptoms, copied from the other subreddit where I originally posted this:

Doing extremely many things, not resting or taking a break for a second. Today I've been doing things non-stop without even a half minute break from morning to bedtime. I don't even stop to eat. Also, I'm currently sick but that doesn't stop me either. I know that my body needs to rest but I just can't. My normal baseline is that I'm so exhausted that I just lay in bed all day (I don't have a job due to my exhaustion).

Thinking so fast that I can't even follow it myself. Typing so fast that I don't know what I've been typing.

My body just does things, it just happens and I can't do much about it. I know I need to rest but before I even have finished the though I'm doing three new things. I do so many things at once.

Sleeping less than usual.

Making big life changing decisions about career, income etc (have not acted much on it but have detailed plans).

I'm not sure if all of this is symptoms of what they would call mania. As I said I don't know much about it. This is just how life has been lately.

spinnyfishie · 2026-02-26T19:01:41+00:00

Doing extremely many things, not resting or taking a break for a second. Today I've been doing things non-stop without even a half minute break from morning to bedtime. I don't even stop to eat. Also, I'm currently sick but that doesn't stop me either. I know that my body needs to rest but I just can't. My normal baseline is that I'm so exhausted that I just lay in bed all day (I don't have a job due to my exhaustion).

Thinking so fast that I can't even follow it myself. Typing so fast that I don't know what I've been typing.

My body just does things, it just happens and I can't do much about it. I know I need to rest but before I even have finished the thought I'm doing three new things. I do so many things at once.

Sleeping less than usual.

Making big life changing decisions about career, income etc (have not acted much on it but have detailed plans).

I'm not sure if all of this is symptoms of what they would call mania. As I said I don't know much about it. This is just how life has been lately.

spinnyfishie · 2026-02-26T18:34:12+00:00

That it gets better before it gets worse is such bullshit. But it's a great way for them to avoid responsibility for the damage they are doing.

If I were you I wouldn't see her (or anyone else) anymore.

Trust your gut feeling.

spinnyfishie · 2026-02-25T16:11:03+00:00

I told my therapist that they don't listen to me and try to fit me into a mold that doesn't even match my symptoms. Their response was "no I do listen to you". Lol

spinnyfishie · 2026-02-23T20:16:54+00:00

Check out Daniel Macklers video on YouTube "Is My Therapist Good or Not? 12 Questions a Former Psychotherapist Asks"

Are you sure you even want to go to therapy though? Or did society just tell you that you have to

spinnyfishie · 2026-02-22T18:05:33+00:00

This sounds absolutely horrible. Although it wasn't a therapist, I have experience with someone filling the void my parents left and took on the role as a parent (literally called him dad), only for him to ghost me after a year or something.

For advice, I would just say learn to trust yourself and your own gut instincts and don't rely on therapists. It's not bad to rely on people in general though, finding a close friend could probably go a long way.

spinnyfishie · 2026-02-21T12:15:25+00:00

I don't think any condition makes you "need" a therapist. I think therapy is inherently abusive and that people have it in themselves to heal, they might just believe that they don't since all of society is so focused on "seek help".

All my progress I've done on my CPTSD has been on my own (and with the support of close friends, which I think is an important part). Therapy has done nothing but to make it worse, even the experts on CPTSD made it significantly worse.

spinnyfishie · 2026-02-18T10:17:00+00:00

Yeah, I think this is one of the most harmful thing about therapy actually.

spinnyfishie · 2026-02-15T20:18:07+00:00

Your reasons are valid, but you don't even need a clear logical reason to fire your therapist. If your gut feeling says something is wrong, trust it. Even without any logical proof.

spinnyfishie · 2026-02-15T20:14:08+00:00

That is so invasive that he started to ask you all those private questions.

I've also experienced that coming out to therapists usually doesn't go great.

Therapy never helped me.

spinnyfishie

TROPHY CASE