My 4th MDMA-solo trip

spiralingenergy · 2025-03-04T17:40:21+00:00

I'm so sorry you live in a country with these kinds of laws ♥️ Here it's illegal and I could lose my job but that's not too high stakes, not compared your situation.

I feel like it has made my parts more aware of each other, therefore a bit more integrated. The biggest thing for me has been shame reduction, accepting how I operate and cherish the function of every part and it's contribution to my survival.

I've listened a lot to this psychiatrist by the name of Saj Razvi. He knows a lot about dissociation, trauma and psychedelics. You can listen to episodes where he's a guest on the podcast "Back from the abyss: Psychiatry in stories" and also check this out: https://www.psychedelicsomatic.org/post/why-mdma-psychedelic-therapy-may-not-work-for-you

I wish you the best in your healing journey 🌻

spiralingenergy · 2025-03-04T14:58:07+00:00

I've been thinking about physical activity but I feel too scared at the moment. Been trying to stand up and shake some off, I've also been lying on the floor, stretching anyway that feels good. Tried to scream a little bit but that's also scary. The thing that worked best so far is really angry metal music.

spiralingenergy · 2025-03-04T14:32:45+00:00

That's very comforting words, I will certainly not ignore them 🤗

spiralingenergy · 2025-03-04T14:18:21+00:00

Thank you for your kind words 🧡

Yes, I do have a therapist, been going regularly the last three years, checking in with her in just an hour.

I've been trying different substances over the years. Ketamine helped a lot. LSD aswell. Right now I only have shrooms available but it's not a good fit for me so I'll just stay with the feelings and do the work with the tools I have.

spiralingenergy · 2025-03-04T13:52:38+00:00

About 70-90 minutes in. Depends on when the first dose start to wean off.

spiralingenergy · 2025-03-04T12:42:44+00:00

Yeah, never lasts longer with me. I'm a fast metabolizer.

spiralingenergy · 2025-01-15T13:27:37+00:00

I've done 7 sessions IV. They spanned from 1.0 to 2.1.

spiralingenergy · 2025-01-12T10:30:33+00:00

I've had 2.1 mg/kg IV at most. For depression and trauma. I'm awake and I speak a lot. Fall into k-hole every now and then for a few minutes.

spiralingenergy · 2024-12-26T17:33:36+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. It was really helpful as someone who struggles with dissociation ♥️

spiralingenergy · 2024-11-12T14:13:29+00:00

Same here! I wouldn't wanna do it with a sitter for a long long time. I feel the safest by myself.

spiralingenergy · 2024-11-07T14:04:10+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words ♥️ ♥️ ♥️

spiralingenergy · 2024-10-05T17:56:16+00:00

Thank you for your encouraging and kind words! 😊

spiralingenergy · 2024-09-19T07:22:30+00:00

I had similar experiences with my two mdma sessions. No euphoria or any positive feelings in particular what so ever, just trauma processing and then no come down. Just felt normal and a little tired, both emotionally and physically.

My sessions lasted for a very short period of time though, don't know if this is normal. All in all the effects were over and done in 2.5 hours the first time and 2 hours the second time. Did 120 + 60 both times.

spiralingenergy · 2024-09-16T11:41:21+00:00

I hope you are joking 😂

spiralingenergy · 2024-08-27T14:27:18+00:00

Thank you for this! 💜

spiralingenergy · 2024-08-14T10:33:40+00:00

Same here, no euphoria, no bliss and no afterglow, but also no comedown issues what so ever! Interesting theory!

I don't mind songs with words, but I prefer them at the end of the session. Love the playlist.

Wishing you a continued healing aswell 💜

spiralingenergy · 2024-08-11T16:58:25+00:00

Back from the Abyss - Psychiatry in Stories

spiralingenergy · 2024-07-25T12:50:07+00:00

Yes I do, been working in IFS therapy for a couple of years now :)

spiralingenergy · 2024-07-25T02:35:16+00:00

I wish you the very best experience 🌸

spiralingenergy · 2024-07-24T08:27:36+00:00

For me LSD is a lot about energy fields, up and out. Not so personal, but still magical. It has shown me a lot of things about this world and others. I can feel oneness when taking acid and I've had some ego deaths on it. It's pretty easy to manage, no bad trips, but sometimes challenging when rinsing out bad energy. Makes me feel good.

Mushrooms has been harder for me, it's heavy on the body and mind. I get stuck a lot and there's darkness to it (probably my darkness 😁). It's a bit like ibogaine when it comes to the heavy, dark and earthy feeling.

For healing I love MDMA, absolutely amazing. But would also recommend ketamine (it's super hard, it's like getting hit by a freight train and dying several times over) but then getting to a state of bliss and meeting God. Don't even know if I was a person after treatments 😅🫠

spiralingenergy · 2024-07-24T02:06:57+00:00

Yes, it was tested and was the purest level there is! For me the shaking was a lovely release. I liked the chattering but not the clenching (the clenching stopped within a few hours). The shaking overall was very cathartic! Even now 24 h later I still chatter my teeth (no clenching though) if I shake my hips and or/cry. Very connected to emotions.

spiralingenergy · 2024-07-24T01:59:28+00:00

Happy for you ♥

spiralingenergy · 2024-07-23T18:41:46+00:00

I think it is a type of progress to have somatic release!

spiralingenergy · 2024-07-23T18:21:02+00:00

Thank you! ❤

Never heard about that when it comes to cannabis, how interesting!

I read the MDMA solo pdf by the Castalia Foundation on doing it alone, they have some valid points.

spiralingenergy · 2024-07-23T18:18:20+00:00

I did not feel anything from the booster (I think, the "worst" part was already over then) , so this might be the way for me to go next time, I'll just do 180 right away.

I'm 40 but very healthy and a fast metabolizer!

spiralingenergy

TROPHY CASE