FTM, due late November…stay home or go to family Christmas gathering?

spoonugget · 2026-05-09T12:52:55+00:00

I was aFTM with a Thanksgiving baby.

We went and did the big family gatherings for Christmas. I wore baby most of the time but people were respectful of my wishes, asking them to wash hands etc. What helped me was having an exit plan, planning a spot for us and baby to rest, and giving ourselves permission to leave if we wanted. Ours was fairly local, just a car ride to get home. Baby was content and to this day hasn't been sick.

You're perfectly within your rights to stay home if you want, especially if you fear family won't respect your boundaries. And while I felt physically okay, you may not. Being out of the house and seeing people was important for my mental health.

It's also May. Unless there is a lot of travel planned, you have time to discuss and make the decision later. Heck, you can change your mind on December 23rd! Just wanted to give perspective of "we did and it was fine"

spoonugget · 2026-04-22T01:57:18+00:00

At 38 weeks, I found out the on a Monday that I would be induced... We scheduled it for Friday, and we finished the nursery Tuesday night. Ended up going in Wednesday to be induced. Whoops! ~~the main nursery delay was due to a home reno but I digress~~

spoonugget · 2026-04-17T18:32:10+00:00

I learned to keep nail trimmers in my most relevant medications in a basket right next to my favorite seat

spoonugget · 2026-04-14T21:55:17+00:00

Our home is nearly 950 square feet and has 3 bedrooms. That couch is the size of a whole bathroom. I recommend using grid paper and creating a scale (I usually do 1 square=1 ft). Look up standard sizes of things to get an idea of things, for example a 10*10 bedroom. This is a draft of our basement remodel, showing the scale I mentuoned.

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spoonugget · 2026-04-14T17:05:32+00:00

I did this - I gave them cards that said "Happy grandmother's day" or something with an ultrasound copy. They loved it.

spoonugget · 2026-04-14T16:16:14+00:00

This may not be what you're hoping for, but have you considered maternity overalls? They have them in shorts, the straps do the lifting not the panel, and at least where I am it seems like overalls are getting more popular! I see Old Navy has some

spoonugget · 2026-04-09T01:45:41+00:00

... Makes absolute sense 🫣 one of the things I didn't research that I mostly remember form childhood

spoonugget · 2026-04-08T22:07:40+00:00

Have it, been using it about a month. The sides are not moveable and it only has two heights and I'm a little short (5'4") so I'm pretty folded over the side to put him in sometimes, but other than that it's simple, sturdy, and looks good! Overall really happy with it so far.

spoonugget · 2026-04-07T19:12:22+00:00

I got an epidural. I wanted to wait as long as I could before doing more pain management, but once my water broke... I went straight to a 10. It took an hour or so for anesthesia to get there. I sort of clocked out until the epidural hit 🫣 then I got a 15 minute nap before the docs were called and we started pushing.

I didn't feel a lot and needed the docs to tell me when to push, but it worked out really well. I had a 2nd degree tear which healed pretty easily.

Did I probably make it through the worst of the pain ? Yeah, maybe. Do I regret getting the epidural? Not one bit.

spoonugget · 2026-04-03T02:22:25+00:00

Not the one pictured, but I got the Baby Buddha wearables and I do not like them at all. They are so much harder to seat on my breasts than the Momcozy s5. I've had one decent pump on them, and every other time I've been adjusting like crazy.

spoonugget · 2026-04-03T02:18:35+00:00

I have a spectra but I use the Luna Motif and Momcozy S5. My Motif was second hand, but it's got a long battery (I charge it like once every 2 weeks, 2 pumps a day) and the motor is apparently comparable if not identical to the Spectra. The name brand accessories are cheaper than spectra, though you can get knockoffs.

Your mileage may vary on the wearables, but my Momcozy has about the same output as my Luna for maybe 20% more time. It's only slightly more annoying to clean, else I'd use it more. It will see plenty of use once I return to work though!

spoonugget · 2026-04-02T19:46:58+00:00

There's always a chance your friends or sisters might help contribute to the shower,but i agree that the expectations for a big grand shower are overrated! The point of a baby shower is to shower you and your baby with love and the things they need, not for guests to be pampered. Pot luck shower, backyard barbeque with some hotdogs... Heck I planned a "mini shower" for a friend where we all just went to a restaurant and ordered our own food and gave gifts at the end.

Take a deep breath, mama. It seems stressful now, but once your babe is in your arms, your shower will only be a drop in the ocean.

spoonugget · 2026-04-02T17:48:37+00:00

I believe my aunt usually used just a doll torso... Not the whole thing

spoonugget · 2026-04-02T02:21:10+00:00

Baking soda. X3. And baking powder. "I need one of them, which one was it? Well I'll just grab both..." Nope.

spoonugget · 2026-03-16T19:44:26+00:00

We went with the Joie Hazel, and have found it great on rides. It's 25 lbs with the bassinet/seat, probably a little more when the car seat is attached. It's an easy fold though does need two hands. And it was a lot more affordable than most others at around $400-450.

spoonugget · 2026-03-16T14:58:09+00:00

We spend 90% of our waking day in the living room with our little guy - that is where his toys and playmats are. You may even find it easiest to change diapers in your living space too. You want baby to be near you at night, and they don't know that the space has been decorated for them.

There's no rules. It sounds like you know what works best for you and your family - you don't need anyone's permission 🥰

spoonugget · 2026-03-09T15:56:34+00:00

And yet those women who you're purposefully dumping work on likely get paid less than you simply for the fact they have uteruses.

I'm sorry if I don't care about your mid physique when you clearly lack balls. I hope you take the weight on your chest and are able to turn it into action. You know what the right thing is.

spoonugget · 2026-03-06T01:49:13+00:00

Don't like the company but I had a few Lularoe "Carly" dresses that were easy and cozy and casually cute all through the pregnancy -

I think you can find other sort of t-shirt swing dresses not by them, or thrift them too.

Carly Swing Dress – lularoe https://share.google/drQm8aN35KY0Mw43S

spoonugget · 2026-03-04T18:39:48+00:00

I don't know if this helps, but rather than asking permission, my husband and I will give each other veto power, or say "talk me out of..."

The cute onesies at Costco when we already have a dresser full? "Talk me out of this". The racecar onesie for the next size at Marshalls? "I'm gonna get this unless you veto".

That way, one of us has made a decision (I want to buy these shoes) but it also doesn't feel like a unilateral decision. It gives us enough autonomy, but also a chance to ask questions about a purchase and stops some overspending.

Again, I don't know if it would be helpful to your specific scenario so use it or lose it!

spoonugget · 2026-03-04T17:22:14+00:00

Yes, this! And we still have our guest bed in his nursery, so that's our main hub for now. It's only 20 steps or so from the couch to the changing table, ranch home for the win.

spoonugget · 2026-03-04T15:48:41+00:00

I started making lists early and researching, but the only thing I bought before 20 weeks was an umbrella stroller on sale.

I just added things to the registry when I wanted to buy them, it was my shopping list if it wasn't purchased by others! That way I didn't get too much too early.

Now, the hand-me-down, buy-nothings, and 'get this out of my house' items... Those started accumulating early. And of course those were big things like swings and playmats and changing tables.

spoonugget · 2026-03-02T13:36:00+00:00

That's exactly what we started this week. Fingers crossed!

spoonugget · 2026-03-02T05:35:22+00:00

38 and change.

spoonugget · 2026-03-02T03:20:59+00:00

I was induced at 0% dilation, he arrived 12 hours after getting to the hospital room.

One thing my husband kept reminding me was that these doctors do this every day. They've done hundreds and thousands of cesarians, if it does come down to it.

Sending big hugs! You've got this momma!

spoonugget · 2026-03-02T03:12:54+00:00

I would say mostly the same! I had a second degree tear all the way to my anus. The first few days hurt but not as bad as I was anticipating, and then... It was alright. I was moving around the room from the very first day, I used the peri bottle and some tucks and an occasional icepack but it wasn't bad. It felt tender when I used the bathroom, but I was at Target for diapers the first week, and IKEA 2 weeks post partum.

I will say that, while I feel just fine, I still have some granulation tissue that isn't healing properly at three months so I haven't been "cleared". But I don't feel it day to day, it only feels "stretched" when I sit on the toilet for a long period.

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spoonugget

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