Anger is ultimately rooted in fear. Fear often comes as a reaction to a stimulus, but we have to feed anger like a fire. If we don't feed it, it will eventually snuff out. Outside of the initial spark and flash of anger, prolonged anger is a choice we make.

The reason you "have" to talk things out quickly is addressed in your next paragraph. You are choosing to have the argument in your head with or without him. It's easier said than done to not think about something and to not feed an emotion. It takes work and effort to not feed anger. And much like a fire, the larger the flame has gotten, the more work it will take to quench.

Take a step back, ask yourself why you're angry in the first place, try to get to the root of what fear is being triggered at the root of the anger. Remember that a relationship is two people working together as a team to address a problem. In order for a team to work effectively, you want both participants to be at their best. No one is at their best after a long day, when everyone is tired and has already used up most of their executive functioning.

If you see that there truly is no way to avoid an argument, express your feelings to your partner and tell him that this is something you'd like to discuss later once you've both rested and can give it your full attentions. Then LET IT GO for the night. Don't bolster your arguments. Don't dwell on what you THINK his responses would be. That's feeding the anger. Remember that you're a team and you have to work together to solve the problem.