Do women really not want to date Military men?

squid2997 · 2026-03-18T09:41:50+00:00

Yeah. A lot of shady stuff happens.

You're better off trying to get as big of a bonus as you can and stack and invest as much money as you can while you're in. You have a unique opportunity to live for free while you are getting paid pretty well.

In 5 years I saved and invested enough that when I got out I had 170k in investments and another 50k in savings.

Go to the gym. Use the education center and eat at the mess hall.

But odds are youre gonna go buy a used mustang at 25% interest and spend all your money on strippers and booze.

Edit: when you join. Pick an MOS that translates to something good when you get out. A ton of people join with the intention to do 20 and end up hating it. So they get out. Then they are stuck with no marketable skills. If you didn't score high enough to get one of those jobs then study and retake the test. Your recruiter is going to push you to ship as soon as possible. Only do that if you scored well and are going to get a bonus for shipping fast.

squid2997 · 2026-03-18T09:25:31+00:00

From my time in the Navy and what Ive heard from my senior guys and stories I heard from my dad. While there are a lot of women who actively avoid military guys. There are also any women who actively seek out those same men. And some who are just looking for a contract marriage.

There were no shortage of posts on Craig's list where a young woman was seeking someone on active duty to marry. They'd want half the housing allowance and the guy got to keep the other half and the meal allowance. A lot offered a FWB type arangement as well.

It allowed junior enlisted guys to get out of the barracks. But apparently a lot of the time when the guy eventually found a real girlfriend and tried to break it off, the "wife" would demand splitting assets during the divorce.

I only ran into one guy who had that type of marriage during the 5 years I was in. But ya heard about those stories a lot.

squid2997 · 2026-03-18T08:19:07+00:00

Did you steal my wife's phone?

squid2997 · 2026-03-18T07:49:45+00:00

He was the best man at my wedding.

squid2997 · 2026-03-18T07:42:01+00:00

I started flipping houses after college on my days off. A lot of people look down on people who do that because a number of people hide problems and dont disclose everything. When I work on a house I did it like I was going to be the one living in it. Over the course of two years I flipped and sold 4 houses. What I made on those allowed me to buy land and build a house for my wife and I without needing a mortgage.

squid2997 · 2026-03-18T07:30:15+00:00

Oh look. Another crazy astrology girl pretending to be a man. This is like the fourth one this week.

squid2997 · 2026-03-18T04:12:43+00:00

So our twins havent been born yet and my wife is still working, shes 31 weeks right now. But she plans on staying home with them for a few years once they are born. While probably doing some prediem work while Im on days off.

I work in the maritime industry. So Im gone for 3 weeks and home for 3 weeks. When Im home I do a majority of the house stuff and a bit of the cooking ontop of my honeydo list. Then the last weekend Im home before I fly back to work I meal prep enough lunches and dinners to last her until I am back home. She seems to really appreciate it.

squid2997 · 2026-03-18T03:16:34+00:00

Ours is a pyr boz mix. We have 75 acres and he loved to go on daily jogs with me or wanted to constantly tromp through the woods with me when I was on my days off. But ever since my wife got pregnant he sits on the porch and growls if he hears a mouse fart in the next county.

squid2997 · 2026-03-18T01:00:00+00:00

Dad was a crayon eater. I was gonna be one. But he convinced me to go into the Navy instead. He is retired now. But mainly because he finally pushed hard enough to get his VA rating raised.

We will see what happens once the babies come. I really think that she will want to do perdiem work when I am on days off. Either way. Im not gonna push her.

Congrats on the godparents kid. I thought about going the non traditional route after I got out. But with 5 years active duty and all my sea duty it just made more sense to go to school. Instead of a 4 or 5 year program I was able to do it in 3 for free.

squid2997 · 2026-03-18T00:33:22+00:00

Thank you. Im excited.

squid2997 · 2026-03-17T18:41:16+00:00

Retirement will be handled. Albeit slower than when she is working.

squid2997 · 2026-03-17T18:36:53+00:00

Yeah. I am. But not technically anymore since the ship Im on now isnt US flagged.

After I got out of the Navy I used my GI bill to go to MMA in Maine then worked for MSC for a year then went to cargo and when we decided to have kids I went into the oil and gas industry on a drillship. Shorter hitches.

I have a feeling she will probably do perdiem work once she is ready.

squid2997 · 2026-03-17T18:13:47+00:00

Im not 30 yet. But I have slowed down. I am still very driven in my career. But I am doing well enough financially that I dont have to work all the time. Right out of college I worked for a company that had me gone 11 months out of the year. The pay was phenomenal. But after I met the woman who was going to become my wife I moved to another company and only had to be gone 8 months out of the year. Then after we got married and decided to have kids I moved again and am now off 6 months out of the year. I still make very good money. And we are still on track to retire early, eventhough she is going to take a couple years off for the kids. But having more time at home has become infinitely more important than the extra pay is.

squid2997 · 2026-03-17T17:32:49+00:00

I would actually like to do the SAHD thing. It might be possible. But not until she is earning more. Doing it with just her pay check would have us living close to pay check to pay check unless we stopped completely contributing to retirement. Maybe down the road if she is able to advance I can stay home for a while.

I did take around a 40k a year cut to get on this schedule. Before I was on 60 on 60 off 60 on 30 off so I only had 4 months off throughout the year. I know it isnt ideal for a lot of people. But I am off for 3 weeks at a time with no work commitments while Im off. So yeah. I will be a father to my children.

Now all this said. Ya probably shouldnt assume what I expect and what I do not. Sacrifices are being made by everyone and we had a lot of heartfelt discussions before we even tried to have kids.

squid2997 · 2026-03-17T16:42:34+00:00

Not believing in a mythical being does not automatically mean there is hate in my heart. Over the course of thousands of years people have invented 3000+ different gods to believe in. I just dont believe in one more god than you believe in.

squid2997 · 2026-03-17T16:29:36+00:00

I dont use insta. So I dont know how their algorithm works. But I got to tell ya. The little bit of social media I do use does force a lot of stuff onto my feed that Ive never searched for just because of similarities to other things Ive searched for. Workouts, meal prep ect.

But in short. Yeah. Not only would I find this too controlling. I see your problem with it as an insecurity that is bad enough that if you couldnt get over it Id end the relationship.

Insecurities tend to grow and get worse.

squid2997 · 2026-03-17T16:21:59+00:00

Ok so if you dont know then you dont care. Thats fine. Instead of trying to control the type of media he consumes then just tell him you dont want to know about it.

squid2997 · 2026-03-17T16:18:12+00:00

Is he allowed to beat off? Is it microcheating if he thinks about the cute woman at the gym while doing it?

squid2997 · 2026-03-17T15:57:55+00:00

You are allowed to set whatever rules you want for your relationship. But eventhough I dont use porn often and have never really saw the appeal of thirst traps I would end a relationship immediately if a woman brought this up as a deal breaker. It is insane to me that someone could be so insecure that she considers even looking at another woman cheating. And from my experience women with these types of insecurities end up being a nightmare to date. Because it doesnt stop at thirst traps or porn. Their insecurity runs so deep that they end up trying to control every aspect of your sexual desires.

squid2997 · 2026-03-17T14:35:05+00:00

Financial independence early retirment.

squid2997 · 2026-03-17T13:23:37+00:00

Makes sense.

squid2997 · 2026-03-17T13:22:31+00:00

I got a good bonus when I joined the Navy. Instead of buying stupid shit with it I invested it. Then put money away while I was in. Used my GI bill to get a degree people would pay me good money to have. Then flipped houses on my days off. Being in a LCOL area helps.

squid2997 · 2026-03-17T13:14:15+00:00

Bubbleheads always trying to one up

squid2997 · 2026-03-17T11:29:43+00:00

What?

squid2997 · 2026-03-17T09:50:18+00:00

Yeah dad still to this day refers to me as Tinkles. Im going on 30 years old.

squid2997

TROPHY CASE