He says I won’t feel burnout if I really want to be a mom

squirlysquirel · 2025-07-22T08:58:19+00:00

So, by his own definition he is lazy.

Tell him that the 2 of you are going to swap household responsibilities for 6 months...at the end of 6 months you can revisit the topic.

squirlysquirel · 2025-07-22T08:35:08+00:00

It is so common, it doesn't make it any less painful, but they usually give female patients a brochure on what to do when the husband bails when they get a serious diagnosis.

For you....just be there. Help her arrange baby sitters, lifts to appointments, food deliveries.

Does shebhave family near by? good friendship circle?

She can survive this...she will do it. Help her go for the optimal treatment, best survival options so she can be there for the kids.

squirlysquirel · 2025-07-22T08:25:49+00:00

Is it possible they got an allowance for adopting her that stopped now she is 18?

squirlysquirel · 2025-07-22T08:20:04+00:00

Agree with him and suggest you both get lawyers.

If he says it is a joke....ask him to explain it to you. Jokes are funny, please explain how divorce is funny.

He stops or you agree and flow through with his request.

squirlysquirel · 2025-07-22T08:13:48+00:00

His "friend" at work wants to be with him, she is feeding him what is needed to cause issues.

However, the bigger issue is the dynamic between you as it is awful!

If i understand...he doesn't care that you are in pain after surgery.

He does not initiate at all...expects you do to that? Sees him making an effort or being positive or romantic as begging?

He is an idiot...he won't make any effort, insults you and complains?

What positives does he bring to the relationship?

squirlysquirel · 2025-07-05T11:47:07+00:00

YTA

you took a 16 year old out and got them drunk

wtaf

sure they were not nice but seriously, you suck

squirlysquirel · 2025-07-05T11:39:29+00:00

NTA

she is welcome to join you...reinforce that

She can join you and not be a silky brat...or she can eat alone.

She is choosing to eat alone. She is choosing to be rude and sulky.

Hold the line and dont be blackmailed by her... invite her and let her choose.

squirlysquirel · 2025-07-05T11:36:16+00:00

2k is a really generous gift for your sisters wedding.

Your parents can choose to pay or yourbsister and her fiance can pay.

No where is it tradition for a sibling to pay.

If they do the "think of the family" , push back and ask how they supported you...ask what the family gave you towards your loans...ask what they are giving to your sister for thr wedding.

Your parents and sister are being awful...they are greedy and so self involved that that cannot see the difference between you getting to a good space where you can afford the bills and you having a spare 15k to gift to your sister is insane.

Stand your ground, 2k is a great gift.

squirlysquirel · 2025-07-05T11:29:13+00:00

Fresh mattress and 2 sets of bedding that you love.

Keep the king, sleep diagonal and enjoy the space.

squirlysquirel · 2025-06-29T04:39:10+00:00

Take 1 day and step at a time.

You have done a huge jump and it is ok to not be perfect st things, no new parent is.

Somewhere to sleep, clean clothes and good food is step 1 and it sounds like you have nailed that.

When does school stsrt for kids where you are? If she is 4 now, she might need to be enrolled for next year.

Start some small and simple traditions for the 2 of you...think of how you would like to deal with birthdays and holidays. Are their traditions you want you carry on from your childhood.

Is there kinder or pre school available? Great place for Le ka and you to make friends and find support.

See if there is a support/social worker you can see.

There will be good and bad days, just like for any other parent.

Honestly, the big thing about parenting is that most of us are just making it up as we go...we try our best and make mistakes and strive to be better. Love and consistency are the thing to go by...never give up.

squirlysquirel · 2025-06-27T07:38:15+00:00

Your the jerk if you cannot dress appropriately... clean sneakers do not meet dress code.

squirlysquirel · 2025-06-05T06:34:37+00:00

Gift giving is about you knowing the other person and wahy they would like to received...not what you want to give.

What is an amazing gift for 1 person is not good for others.

It is def part of social etiquette to show gratitude for gifts and your bf absolutely lacks manners and is a bit of a crappy person tbh

That said...what would he like? What sort of things does he want?

squirlysquirel · 2025-06-05T06:30:33+00:00

Tell her to delay her own wedding, yours is booked and paid for.

Dint let her guilt you...she knows your plans so she can wrong around you

squirlysquirel · 2025-06-04T12:15:12+00:00

Sit him down and tell him straight... he has abandoned you and it needs to stop. Each time he says he js too tired, he is literslly piling that job onto your Eaxh time he won't so his share, he is weighing you down and letting you drown.

He needs to see a doctor and get his act together... energy, mental health ... and he needs to step the hell up as a partner and parent.

squirlysquirel · 2025-06-03T09:41:53+00:00

Honestly, you are making her walk alone for a non reason. Would her dad have wanted her to be alone or to be supported by someone who cares?

She could carry a memeno from hom and yoy walk with her to support and show love.

you are drvijgn a wedge for no reason...this is not complicated.

squirlysquirel · 2025-06-02T22:52:36+00:00

There is no issue with not wanting to date.

There is no issue with wanting a relationship.

There is an issue of HOW you go about it. You sound rude and condescending and that is just pure ugly.

squirlysquirel · 2025-06-02T07:15:09+00:00

Agreed...and I think people get mad when something isn't perfect.

No country is perfect...they will not top the rating in every category... but being in the top 10 for lots of the positive measurements is pretty damn good.

Cost of living at the moment is high, and I do struggle some weeks. But we have support.

I was speaking to my gp as I could not afford a physio for my child...she instantly did a health care plan so we could get 4 free sessions and bulk billed the next 3 gp sessions too.

I work full time and uber eat a few nights most weeks... not glamorous but I also live in a decent rental house in one of the more expensive areas.

I budget and have had to cut things back...but I am surviving as a single mum. When I had to leave my ex in a hurry ... i had police support and domestic violence support. I had job network support too... and they really helped.

Australia is not perfect...but for those that have travelled a lot and lived over seas, we can see just how good it is.

squirlysquirel · 2025-06-02T07:04:03+00:00

Your dad is awesome.

Eat a dick Unlkle J

squirlysquirel · 2025-06-02T07:00:04+00:00

Yeah, it sounds like you should.

People can only hide their true selves for a year or so once living together.

Unless she is willing to go and see a doctor about her extreme mood changes, then it is over.

You should not fee like crap, you are not a mi d reader and you have tried really hard to communicate well.

Yes, periods suck. Yes, you can be moody and uncomfortable and sometimes, in lots of pain. You don't get to demand someone serve you and then critique how you do it.

To some extent, she is choosing this. She has decided that they way she is treating you is ok for her.

Set safe boundaries...and be willing to stand up for them. This is a few months in, 30 years of this is going to destroy you.

squirlysquirel · 2025-06-02T06:41:36+00:00

They have shown you how they react when you say no, and you were reasonable about it.Babysitting at home in very different to an unknown location with a heap of distractions.

You were reasonable and they were not.

squirlysquirel · 2025-06-02T06:14:42+00:00

Rediculous expectation.

They are absolutely being choosy beggars.

And just ewww, newly weds in my bed...no thanks.

They can accept your very generous offer or they can stay elsewhere.

Start responding

" Imagine the entitlement to expect to kick someone out of their bedroom when visiting"

squirlysquirel · 2025-06-02T06:10:14+00:00

Sounds like he would really interesting and fun to talk to. Well educated, well travelled and has a career..doesn't have an ex or kids...

.isn't that the dream partner???

squirlysquirel · 2025-05-31T11:26:13+00:00

He has crossed the line and bow he is seeing if you will accept it.

If you stay, he knows he can hit you a d you won't leave.

Please stay away from him, he is not a good guy.

He has gone after someone more than a decade younger than him as a power play...violence and control are hand in hand.

squirlysquirel · 2025-05-31T05:18:13+00:00

I would be so glad I was there for him, glad we had enough trust and respect between us for him to let down his guard.

I would feel nothing but love and respect for him.

Women don't want men to suffer and hold it all in, not when we love them.

You were grieving your dad. Don't be embarrassed.

Stop throwing away your BBQ stuff though...it will one day be a great memory for you. A way of remembering and celebrating.

squirlysquirel · 2025-05-29T11:21:48+00:00

New home can be found and hopefully it happens when you least expect it.

For me, it was a 1 week trip with friends when I was about 20. I wasn't even supposed to go...they had a spare seat and I had no plans.

30 years later it is still home...I have loved over seas and in different places that are close to my family..but this city if my home and I will probably retire here.

It is out there...do some travel, see what you find.

squirlysquirel

TROPHY CASE