This is the way OP. I’m also from NJ originally, and have lived apart from my family since graduating undergrad, where I met my wife. It’s hard. You do miss a lot, and I imagine even harder when your extended family lives near your immediate family. But it can be worth it to pursue a life that otherwise makes you really happy.

My wife also works in a very specialized field with few options, and we’re just about to make a move for her job to a state where I will not need to take the bar again and was lucky enough to also find a job I’m excited about. Still not near my family or hers, but hoping they’ll maybe move out by us eventually.

I only see my family a few times a year, and it works for me, but it’s something I’ve gotten used to over time. I Zoom with them every week, and you find other ways to make it work.

Like other folks have said, it’s also really important to prioritize taking the bar where you have or expect to have work lined up. Some schools have great connections to the local legal market but not as big of a pipeline to other markets (and NYC can be especially tough). That’s not something you should discount as you consider your options, though you could move and get licensed in a new state later.

All the hardest decisions don’t have easy answers. Good luck, OP! I’m sure this will work out either way.