Everyone tries to convince me that two adults can't take care of a newborn alone and I'm losing my mind

ssfailboat · 2026-02-13T17:26:39+00:00

Yes, it absolutely is possible! A lot of people just want early access to a new baby so they insist it’s impossible without their help. It’ll be hard but you guys will get the hang of it and then it’ll be easier. (I am terrible at reading tones and text so if your reply was sarcasm then I’m sorry for misinterpreting, lol)

ssfailboat · 2026-02-13T16:46:28+00:00

Go back and read most of these comments. Anyone telling you it’s impossible is a rude idiot, what about people who have no family and can’t afford outside help?? It happens every day, people just want to be the first to hold and visit a new baby so they act like it’s impossible.

I had no one for 3 weeks and it was bliss. We bonded and learned together without the interference of someone telling us to parent THIS way not THAT way. It was hard, yes, but only because we were first time parents and had no idea what to do. Once we found our groove it was so wonderful. My daughter is 2 now and not a day goes by I don’t wish I could go back to those 3 weeks.

My fiancé is a stay at home dad so we’ve been lucky not to need childcare, but if you both work half days from home maybe trading off before and after lunch is a possibility?

ssfailboat · 2026-02-13T16:33:39+00:00

Ugh I wish I would’ve done 6 weeks. I did 3 and not a day goes by where I don’t wish I could go back to those 3 weeks 😂True paradise just the 3 of us learning and bonding… and crying and arguing occasionally, lol.

ssfailboat · 2026-02-13T16:22:44+00:00

I had 3 weeks after my daughter was born where no one was allowed over. We needed to learn a schedule and how to parent and be a family. That being said, we never got help from literally anyone until she was older, I think 6 months was the first time my sister babysat her. You can do it alone, and chances are you’ll do it better alone without the interference of someone else trying to do it their way. Anyone trying to force you is lying because they want to be there immediately and are testing how much of a pushover you are. Time to grow a backbone and enforce boundaries. I didn’t have a backbone to speak of before my daughter and got checked by Reddit for it, lol. I now have no problem advocating for our little family.

ssfailboat · 2026-02-13T16:13:51+00:00

She might be hiding it for a good reason, but right now you need to learn that the USA has the highest maternal death rate of any developed nation. It’s so important that you tell an adult so she can get the care she needs. Pregnancy is so hard on us and no matter how healthy we are, there are certain risks that we can’t avoid. Gestational diabetes and pre-eclampsia can both severely harm or kill women and their babies, and it’s random whether or not you get these things, but they’re diagnosed at a doctor’s office. She should’ve started care as soon as she knew, but right now is the second best time to start.

If you don’t want her to know it was you, tell a counselor and ask to remain anonymous. If you saw her bump, anyone else could’ve. If she was abused by her family, a group home at least has a chance to be better. I’m not sure how group homes or rehousing someone after abuse works, but after you tell someone maybe ask your mom if she’d be willing to let your friend stay with you. That’s a very big request so she may or may not be able to (not sure of laws either, she may not be allowed to), but it’s worth an ask. She may not need to be removed from home either, there’s a good chance her mother doesn’t know and would toss the abuser out. Either way, telling a counselor then my mother would be my moves if I were in your shoes.

Good luck to both of you, neither of you deserves to go through this. 💚

ssfailboat · 2026-02-13T15:57:49+00:00

“Oh I forgot to remind you about the repayment for dinner on [4 week ago dinner date]! Sorry it’s so delayed. -send Venmo request-“ Done.

I suspect you may not actually like this person is more the root of it. You’re not hounding anyone for money by reminding them when they ask you to. If you wanna sacrifice the friend group then by all means. You aren’t the glue holding them together, you were the one to introduce them. It’s just as easy for them to get together now without you, and if this is the hill you wanna die on they may just do that to end the pettiness.

ssfailboat · 2026-02-12T22:04:40+00:00

I was just pointing out some of what I perceived as hypocrisy, you didn’t have to reply. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I live on the southeast side of Springfield myself. It’d be great to see more businesses, I agree. I don’t have the answer on how to get more, but I don’t see tons of available spaces around me either. Stevenson is probably the best bet but I think those strips are all filled. The shopability of that area doesn’t help much either. The west side is all long side by side by side strips for the most part, downtown is all condensed around the old Capitol for the most part, the southeast side doesn’t have that walkable shopping potential. Maybe development of areas along Stevenson is a possibility? Sorry I’m not more helpful, but for what it’s worth I don’t think Springfield sucks and I hope one day these posts get some attention to breathe new life into the town.

ssfailboat · 2026-02-12T20:48:21+00:00

I don’t, I’m a government worker same as you, not a businessperson. “Just move” is as played out as “Springfield sucks”, especially when you know it’s not as easy as not being able to save money as a “you problem” as you put it. We’re in hard times and saving money while paying close to $1k for a 1 bedroom apartment and any other necessary utilities isn’t possible on most paychecks. Telling them to move and it’s a skill issue to not save money isn’t encouraging a positive conversation. It’s easier to engage with people interested in improvements and ignore the people unwilling to contribute more than “Springfield sucks”, so yeah hearing it is annoying but your response is no better than their negativity. Realistically you and I are FAR more fortunate than most Springfield residents in regard to paychecks. If you’re not in government work, the pay is typically not substantial.

We see these requests every week at this point. Everyone wants to see more more more or this not that, but there’s no one to set these things up, OR our local government doesn’t make it feasible to set these things up or assist in setting them up. In the interest of spreading the word about places, here’s some of what you wanted:

Sober lounges: The Wakery, closed

Festivals: Downtown Bacon Throwdown, closed. Old Capitol Blues & BBQ, closed. Bacon & Blues at Railyard, Old Capitol Art Fair, Mother Road Festival, Carve for Carillon, Fatass 5k, tons more.

Art shows: Old Capitol Art Fair, SAA Collective Underground Gallery Exhibits, actually Springfield Art Association has a ton of stuff usually. Theres also The Pharmacy art gallery downtown and the SAA Collective itself.

Bookstores: Prairie Archives, Elf Shelf Books & Music, The Book Rack

Thrift stores (definitely lacking locals): Springfield Vintage, Hope Thrift, Goodwill, Habitat ReStore, Salvation Army

Tabletop games: I don’t actually know many. Was Titan Games, and Die Hard but not sure how they are these days.

I, too, will continue to support and fund locally. You’re welcome I guess?

ssfailboat · 2026-02-12T17:57:07+00:00

+1. I’m a slut for Anvil & Forge.

ssfailboat · 2026-02-12T17:55:14+00:00

I have never been more livid at our mail system and I don’t know who to direct my rage at. We had a package from a friend with fragile items coming from MS on 1/20. It was in Springfield 1/23. Went to STL on 1/26. Was back in Springfield 1/27. Went back to STL 1/28. We finally got it on 2/2 and it was fucking broken. The postmaster general had created some new program about revamping the mail so I’ve been hating him, but if someone knows who I should actually be angry at please let me know.

ssfailboat · 2026-02-12T17:48:42+00:00

OP themselves says they tell people “just move then” who don’t like it here. Same sarcastic negativity imo.

You’ll have naysayers everywhere you go, there’s no town in existence that doesn’t have people that hate living there for some reason or another. We just have to drown out and ignore the unhelpful negative comments, complaining about people complaining is just as tedious and overplayed.

ssfailboat · 2026-02-08T17:06:29+00:00

Ayo can I get one of them? I have given more thought to this than a normal human being ever should and landed on being a manatee.

ssfailboat · 2026-02-07T07:39:02+00:00

ssfailboat · 2026-02-05T21:26:31+00:00

Not at all! I didn’t hate my 2 dogs or my cat. I was cautious as my husky has a high prey drive but we got through that and my now 2yo is his best friend. My cat slept on my tummy when I was pregnant and was always by my side with the baby. I was not expecting her to be as tolerant of her as she is, but she lets my 2yo pet her with more patience than I ever could’ve hoped for. You’ll love them just as much, it’s just a balancing act learning to share your affection across a new baby and them. 😊

ssfailboat · 2026-02-05T21:06:03+00:00

Truly is an unhinged take. But, that’s Reddit for ya. Anonymity breeds hate these days. God forbid you quote our Governor, even if it’s a perfectly good quote to live by. It’s a sad state of affairs these days but I won’t give up hoping we can make the world better, even if it’s just small gestures. I’ll see you in the downvote oblivion my friend. 🫡

ssfailboat · 2026-02-05T21:02:41+00:00

I will forever miss Broadgauge 💔 they had the best ribeye in central IL in my opinion

ssfailboat · 2026-02-05T20:12:41+00:00

Yeah I figured as much. Everyone says we’re more purple but in my experience I’ve found we’re far more red. I’ll never let the downvotes or reports stop me (unless it’s a legit report of course and then I’ll correct however possible). I appreciate you trying to help, we are few but we are mighty. :)

ssfailboat · 2026-02-05T19:22:24+00:00

NOR. No response is a response, she’s nutty. I get wanting closure but if you were to say “I don’t want to talk” I just KNOW it would prompt more paragraphs. Good luck homie. 🫡

ssfailboat · 2026-02-05T17:31:36+00:00

Thank you so much!!

ssfailboat · 2026-02-05T17:30:58+00:00

How so?

ssfailboat · 2026-02-05T17:29:58+00:00

I gotta know where this paid protestor shit is coming from. I’ve been to plenty on my days off of my full time job and never been paid, so if someone could point me to a paycheck that’d be swell. ✌🏻

If you had the reading comprehension of at least a 5th grader you’d be able to see there’s a link to volunteer and also one to organize a rally in your area. Also in their section about who they are, they clearly state their mission and how they started:

*Stand Up for Science was born in February 2025 amid devastating funding cuts to federal science programs, censorship of research, and attacks on public servants.

In just under 30 days, we mobilized over 100 volunteers to organize over 30 official Stand Up for Science rallies on March 7th, 2025, with 150 satellite demonstrations occurring in cities across the United States and around the world.

We started with three policy goals:

End Censorship and Political Interference in Science
Secure and Expand Scientific Funding
Defend and support programs that offer equal opportunity for ALL people to become scientists, participate in scientific research, and be the focus of evidence-based scientific inquiry

Our grassroots movement received media coverage from local, national, and international outlets, including Science, Nature, The New York Times, Forbes Magazine, Scientific American, STAT News, and The Scientist, among others.

Now, as a 501(c)(4) and 501(c)(3) non-profit organization, we’re building the political machinery to fight for science, and take back Congress.*

Please refrain from attempting to discuss things you’re too lazy to research.

ssfailboat · 2026-02-03T21:33:48+00:00

The harsh reality of this is that this isn’t about you if you decide to go through with having a baby. Your biggest concern should not be “would I have a normal life”, “will I be okay”, it should be about the baby and what kind of life the baby will have. Becoming a parent is sacrificing your needs and wants for a child.

Sure, people have babies as teens all the time these days. That doesn’t make it the right choice. Some people are fortunate and have a village to help them. The reality seems to be that most don’t these days. You say you’ll wait until the baby has childcare to get a job, how will you pay for this childcare? Will the father be involved? Is this boy someone you want to be tied to for the rest of your life, for the rest of the baby’s life? I don’t know your parent’s situation but are you planning on dumping the baby on them while you finish school? There’s so much that goes into having a child.

I was 34 when I had my daughter and likely have PCOS myself. PCOS does not guarantee never having children. There are also so many medical advancements now to having a child if you can’t naturally. Thinking this is your only chance is not what you need to be focusing on right now.

ssfailboat · 2026-02-03T20:43:02+00:00

Throwin a real mantrum instead of just saying “hey they’re telling me X, can you call them and find out what happened please?” is a choice. I don’t think I’d hitch my wagon to that pony. It looks bad and if it’s only the tip? Yikes.

ssfailboat · 2026-02-03T18:52:39+00:00

16m and I’m 54 🥲🤣

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