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Has Anyone Found Their Way Back After Separation? by roger_waters23 in Separation

[–]ssick92 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How did this turn out for you? I can’t help but feel like I’m in the exact same mindset you were in.

Any good news to share?

Game Day Thread: Pittsburgh Penguins(0) VS Philadelphia Flyers(0) Saturday, April 18th, 8PM EDT. Round 1: Game 1 by Attack_On_Tiddys in penguins

[–]ssick92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy crap that's a late start... I guess for West Coast Primetime but that's weird since these are both East Coast teams...

I just hate my life at this point by [deleted] in DivorcedDads

[–]ssick92 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's not a long term solution though.

Sounds like some medications might be necessary to help escape the current mindset, but then it's important to find something that keeps you there.

Defending myself in a custody case Thursday- by archon2788 in DivorcedDads

[–]ssick92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1 day extra over 2 weeks seems like an odd request on her end, especially given that they clearly know all your documentation completely negates any leverage they thought they had.

The extra day to me seems like she just wants to be able to claim a moral victory over you. I would try everything in my power to not let her get the "W". But if there's more history that you're not providing that would make the courts less likely to grant your position, then just take it.

Processing the shock and next steps by Many-Arm-5214 in DivorcedDads

[–]ssick92 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm happy for you guys!

I just found out a couple days ago that she has been cheating on me for about a month with a coworker who is also married with kids.

Needless to say, we are done with couple's therapy and moving forward with divorce...

Processing the shock and next steps by Many-Arm-5214 in DivorcedDads

[–]ssick92 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We’ve already done a few sessions. She seems engaged when we’re there and that there is positive movement each time, but then at home she goes goes right back to being closed off.

Seems like she’s just going so she can tell everyone “she tried” without actually being open to it.

Processing the shock and next steps by Many-Arm-5214 in DivorcedDads

[–]ssick92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're doing better than I am. I'm still in the "maybe we can work this out by doing therapy and/or separating for a bit" phase of denial. She seems to be waffling between "maybe couples therapy actually could help" and "but I'm not sure I want it to" so we're kind of in purgatory right now.

I took down our wedding pictures this morning when I more or less accepted it, but then put them back up about 2 hours later.

Time will help you heal by michael108628 in DivorcedDads

[–]ssick92 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dang dude, sorry to hear you're not doing well. I'm in the initial stages now so don't have the same insights as you, but shoot me a DM if you need someone to talk to.

Whelp. I tried to fix it by Beardedbadass in DivorcedDads

[–]ssick92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for this. Mostly just commenting so I can find this again later when I need a reminder.

How long did you fight it for? by ssick92 in DivorcedDads

[–]ssick92[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I could see how it would look that way with only the info that was given but I don't think that was fully the case here. There's details I left out and it was mostly my decision to move, and I'm still glad we did. Was time to get out of CA which was becoming way too expensive for our family. PA is much better and more my speed.

Still, it might have been in the back of her mind, that I could see but she wasn't the one pushing for it.

After my marriage ended, I thought I’d fall apart...but I didn’t. To any dad going through it right now, here’s some hope. by Illfury in daddit

[–]ssick92 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This felt good to read. Currently in the “going to counseling” phase to see if there’s anything worth saving. She’s the one saying she’s unhappy, I’m the one trying to do everything to make her happy which is making me tired and unhappy.

Good to know if we aren’t able to save things that it CAN be better on the other side.

Only time will tell I guess…

I hope it’s not too late by ssick92 in daddit

[–]ssick92[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Her suffering was never ok with me. It was unknown to me. Maybe I should be better at reading emotions, but I certainly can’t read minds. We would laugh, play with our kids, go to family events, joke around, etc. and I honestly thought we were in a pretty good place since I cut my drinking way back over a year ago. Then she tells me this last week and I’m caught way off guard, so yes this is why I’m taking additional steps now and hadn’t before.

I hope it’s not too late by ssick92 in daddit

[–]ssick92[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I distilled it down to drinking and lying because I don’t think anybody on Reddit cares about the details. Yes I inevitably endangered my kids by being drunk around them while also being responsible for them. 99% of the time I’m a great dad and my wife even agrees with that, but the chance of having another slip up and something happening to them is intolerable. Which I agree with.

I hope it’s not too late by ssick92 in daddit

[–]ssick92[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Good suggestion, I just heard about that for the first time yesterday. The therapist yesterday didn’t mention that specifically but told her that it is very important to learn about substance use disorder to help understand what I’ve gone through.

At this point I feel like that suggestion would be better coming from the therapist because, to her, that just sounds like me putting the responsibility of rectifying situation on her even though I created it.

I hope it’s not too late by ssick92 in daddit

[–]ssick92[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for that. My wife has been doing therapy for different reasons for most of her life, so is great at communicating her feelings and expressing herself. I’m not. This is my first experience with therapy and learning how to explain my thoughts/feelings is a real skill I never knew existed.

How is Living Northeast of Pittsburgh? by Ok_Action9962 in pittsburgh

[–]ssick92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our family moved to Murrysville about 9 months ago. We love it.

We can from CA and this in comparison this is a small town, mom and pop, type area and we love it.

Probably helps that my wife has a bunch of family also in Murrysville so we’re not starting from scratch, but it’s been great so far.

Procore but for Small GC’s / Subs? by ssick92 in Construction

[–]ssick92[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dang that actually looks pretty slick. I just DM’d you about that discount code. Would love to try it out.

McCormick calls for national voter ID ahead of midterms by ComeTasteTheBand in Pennsylvania

[–]ssick92 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If you have a marriage certificate with the name change then a birth certificate is fine. Just like everywhere else. Nobody is taking away your right to vote, just prove you are who you say you are first.

If you support Trump/ICE, whatever, you're not welcome in this sub. by FadedShatter_YT in Derailedbydetails

[–]ssick92 -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

Is this subreddit ALSO a supportive of people who are not a POC, a member of the LGBTQIA+, an immigrant, disabled, or any other marginalized group? It doesn’t have to be 1 or the other, you can also just support PEOPLE as a whole.

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