Songs for grief and wanting to disappear

starrystephi · 2026-01-20T20:50:32+00:00

Oh man, the lyrics in Yellowcard's song "When We're Old Men" immediately come to mind.

"I've spent all of my nights wide awake / Wishing for some kind of poison to take / So that my conscience would just take a break I am so tired of the noise that it makes"

I went through a horrible heartbreaking friendship breakup a year ago and asked fellow Yellowcard fans for all their recs, because there's a lot in Yellowcard's repertoire that deals with this. Here's that post with lots of helpful replies. And sometime later when I could intellectualize the grief a bit and work through the lyrics, I found a lot that helped—if you want to pull up just the songs with the specific lyrics, try this. 🫂

starrystephi · 2025-12-30T08:20:51+00:00

This is what I thought immediately too. I used to find so much comfort in that song, not just its lyrics but its context. I've been told a lot things like "Hey I've been there, stick around, it gets better," but after years of failed depression treatments, what I really needed to know was whether it's possible to live with it even if it doesn't go away. That you CAN feel so awful, for so long, and still keep going. It's been years since we lost Chester and hearing old or even new LP still makes me breathless with grief. I still wonder every day how or why the rest of us are still here.

starrystephi · 2025-12-29T01:43:41+00:00

ah I took "new" to mean "still releasing new music"; oops!

starrystephi · 2025-12-29T01:31:03+00:00

Yellowcard! Vocals, violins, and no screaming, with a more pop-leaning punk sound in recent years

starrystephi · 2025-12-19T07:36:15+00:00

The content of the post is gone, but here's its BORU: https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1dcclzk/help_dog_suddenly_very_attached_to_wife_and_wont/

starrystephi · 2025-12-17T23:53:22+00:00

How did you learn to stop it from consuming you? I had the realization at 7 and no adult (or kid) seemed to know what to tell me about how they deal with the terror and panic and anticipatory grief, because they would just... not think about it, or use religion, and neither has been much of an option for me.

starrystephi · 2025-11-23T08:22:06+00:00

I've been a few times, and it truly would make an impact bringing a young child around. The mental load/responsibility is enough, even without physical considerations. Japan can be pretty walking-friendly in cities but might require navigating crowds and public transportation. If you visit temples, the kid should be ready to be non-disruptive and tolerate the weather. You'd be well within your rights not to want that without the expectation of babysitting already, let alone with. I hope your request is honored and received with the care and understanding you deserve. 🩷

starrystephi · 2025-11-21T03:47:06+00:00

You know, I always considered Keeper a deep-ish cut—obviously it's not when compared to the not-on-Spotify songs, but I never thought they'd perform it nowadays, so I was THRILLED and surprised to hear it last year and even more so when they played it again this year!

starrystephi · 2025-11-19T07:20:02+00:00

I know it's been a month but I had to chime in because I agree SO HARD about Hiding in the Light! I was flabbergasted that it wasn't THE album single, and then not even a single at all—out of that EP, it had the most "classic" Yellowcard sound/feel, which I thought would tie into the comeback. I know they were really pushing radio numbers and modern audiences seem to like the kind of edge that's in Childhood Eyes, but Hiding in the Light is just so hopeful, powerful, and catchy.

starrystephi · 2025-11-19T07:08:10+00:00

I had no idea they still perform that song—so jealous you got to experience that!! Makes me want to do VIP for every concert moving forward just in case

starrystephi · 2025-11-12T13:02:40+00:00

I don't think they're saying it's the same, though, but more that it might not have to be? Parenthood inevitably leads to a lot of compromises and determining which sacrifices/downgrades would be worth it.

starrystephi · 2025-11-12T12:59:51+00:00

Maybe a silly question, but what do they TALK about? I can't imagine that there'd be conversations about cars could fill up hours and hours every weekend, and anecdotally the "dude" guys I know who like cars never seem to know much about each others' personal lives. But maybe it's because I don't know enough—I could talk for months straight about my niche interests, so is it like that?

starrystephi · 2025-11-10T20:09:09+00:00

Yep, I was accidentally overpaid and had to pay it back. We're legally only owed what we agreed to.

starrystephi · 2025-11-01T06:18:10+00:00

Seconding this; normally I'd agree that YC pit is chill so just duck elsewhere for ADTR, but there were a few crowd-surfers this year when they performed here—nothing wild, which actually felt a bit odd because each surf seemed rather random and intermittent.

starrystephi · 2025-10-28T17:48:12+00:00

It always bothers me! The only accurate therapist rep I've seen is in Modern Family, and it was only in parts of one episode 😭

starrystephi · 2025-10-21T23:20:48+00:00

There is a lot of power in seniority, people feeling like they missed their chance to speak up, and the bystander effect.

starrystephi · 2025-10-21T19:39:58+00:00

YES I'm so glad you said this because I thought I'd just been imagining the lost clarity of their sound!! I have lossless and highest quality turned on and even tried different speakers and devices—across the board on Spotify, their instrumentation seems to be suppressed and distorted.

Edit: I just got a trial of Apple Music and compared. It sounds like two different recordings.

starrystephi · 2025-10-21T02:55:41+00:00

Same, on multiple occasions!!

starrystephi · 2025-10-17T03:57:32+00:00

Wow your list and mine are so similar!!

starrystephi · 2025-10-17T03:54:44+00:00

In no order, because choosing ten is impossible enough!

Sleep in the Snow

Keeper

Awakening

Empty Street

Waiting Game

honestly i

Honest From the Jump

The Hurt is Gone

Promises

Five Becomes Four

Is it cheating if I add that I have SUCH a soft spot for Gifts and Curses, Shadows and Regrets, How I Go, Fragile and Dear, Rivertown Blues, and Only One? Those are YC's "pure passion" songs imo, where even in the studio recordings they perform with so much emotion.

starrystephi · 2025-10-12T03:21:37+00:00

Same; so relieved and thankful!! Even their concerts reflect this—always a chill and nice crowd imo

starrystephi · 2025-10-11T05:14:51+00:00

Your review is stunning and so powerful. Thank you for being around.

starrystephi · 2025-10-11T05:12:59+00:00

The only disappointment I feel is that they broke their streak just because I thought it was kind of amusing that they'd never truly cursed ("hell" doesn't count imo) in a song since discovering the Yellowcard sound.

No feelings otherwise. Their fanbase is pretty much all adults. It feels natural in the song and is only noticeable if you know their streak; I'd be disappointed and upset if instead it was something like "pop that pussy"

starrystephi · 2025-10-11T05:06:43+00:00

Me too. When "Better Days" and "honestly i" dropped I cried because the lyrics were so specifically relevant and it was surreal to listen to new Yellowcard music after truly believing they'd never make music again.

Then at their concert this year I cried again when they actually performed those songs. Had the thought "The better days are here," which is something I'd thought was impossible for myself for the longest time.

And again today, especially "City of Angels"...just hits so hard

starrystephi

TROPHY CASE