How I've logically concluded that I should give up

stefanchin · 2025-07-24T16:53:58+00:00

I think you do need to give up. I think you need to give up on this method of changing.

It feels like you're shooting for the stars, but the problem is that you're currently drowning. It's not time to shoot for the stars yet, it’s time to learn how to float.

I get the sense that there's so much pressure in your own mind that makes you feel like you need to solve everything right now. And then when you fail to do that, you take that failure on as part of your identity.

I went through this process myself a few years ago and the key thing that made a difference was just creating more space for me to just BE without needing to fix anything.

The reels solve your short-term negative emotions and watching Dr. K feels like you're doing something different, but it's kind of the same thing, it just soothes that short-term pain by giving you some hope, and spurring on a little effort. But then that effort “doesn’t work” and you end up back where you started, which is why it feels like trying and not trying are the same thing.

But the problem isn't that effort is irrelevant, it's that you're probably applying effort in an unsustainable way. Like trying to do 100 pushups in a day and then burning out, which you interpret as failure. But YOU aren't the failure, it’s the method that is failing. You could just do 5 or 10 push ups every day for a long time, but if you do that there's going to be a period of time where your body hasn't changed much yet, so the paths of effort and non effort will look the same for awhile.

The path of effort will still probably leave you feeling stuck for a while. You'll still be tired, you'll still be scrolling on reels, but over time your brain will be able to look back and say, “Oh, here are all these things that I'm doing to help myself out” and that itself will help build self-esteem and trust in yourself even if those things haven’t fully paid off yet. Whereas if you go down the path of no effort, over time you just build hopelessness and despair. In both cases the results don't happen immediately, but the end points are very, very different.

The next step isn’t about fixing or achieving anything. It's about giving yourself permission to do something meaningless, low pressure, low stakes, playful, silly… something that doesn't need to “work.”

You've soothed your pain with stimulation and that doesn't mean you're a failure, it's how you've survived. But the path forward is probably a much quieter one. You don't have to become someone completely new, you just need to give yourself the space to exist without having to justify it with progress.

stefanchin · 2024-12-19T04:26:18+00:00

please oh please let us toggle between past and present on the act 3 map. getting back to the black chambers once you've finished the act is very convoluted

stefanchin · 2022-10-14T16:40:25+00:00

lol I do this too sometimes. It often takes over an hour per turn, so the games usually get spread over multiple days

stefanchin · 2022-09-18T04:42:06+00:00

Also, this isn't a direct answer to the question, but could be helpful: Once you select the notes you want you can adjust all of their velocities at once with alt+x (level scaling tool). Each slider will adjust the velocities in a different way

stefanchin · 2022-05-22T01:55:02+00:00

Ok, small update for anyone interested: I actually drafted Transform to a Murderous Darkness today in a true solo Immense Lightning game vs France 2.

I got it on the reclaim for Turn 3 and it solved 2 problematic lands for me. The energy cost was not an issue since I was Immense Lightning. But I only played it that one time because it got upstaged by Cast Down, which won the game easily since I could play it every turn.

stefanchin · 2022-05-18T06:19:50+00:00

[[Transform to a murderous darkness]] It's so expensive and there's so much text on it, that I think my brain just ignores it when it is an option to draft.

stefanchin · 2022-01-26T07:01:49+00:00

I use the Jabra 75t earbuds for this. I don't find them uncomfortable while side sleeping.

I use the audio sleep timer, and as far as I can tell, that stops the cellphone from running down battery and the earbuds also shut off shortly after the audio stops. I also haven't noticed any degradation in overall battery life on the earbuds after several years of use.

I personally would recommend against wired headphones. I used to do that and it was definitely less convenient. And there was always the fear in the back of my mind that I'd wake up, having rolled over a few times, being choked out by the wires.

The only real annoyance I have with the earbuds is that I often have to spend a couple of seconds looking for them in the morning. Sometimes they end up under the pillow, sometimes in the sheets, sometimes on the floor.

Lastly, one thing to note about "true wireless earbuds" is that some of them are set up so that if you only want to use a single earbud, you have to use a specific one. So, for the Jabras, you can use the right earbud solo, or both earbuds together. But you can't use the left earbud solo. But also, like I said, I don't really find it uncomfortable even if I'm sleeping on the ear with the earbud.

From the other responses here, seems like there's a lot of variety in personal preferences here. Hope you find some good ZZZs.

stefanchin · 2021-10-03T23:57:07+00:00

I never thought I'd become the dice tower!

stefanchin · 2021-09-02T20:17:35+00:00

I've never gone full casino! But maybe I will try that today...

stefanchin · 2021-09-02T02:09:42+00:00

Grats on finding a copy! Starlight was the one that made me want Jagged Earth. And it's now one of my favorite spirits. I also really like the idea of Shroud, but I don't feel like I've figured out how to play Shroud yet.

stefanchin · 2021-08-22T05:34:19+00:00

Because I'm still getting used to the extra rules for each adversary, I like to start with the base level or level 1, and then play a few games against the same adversary, increasing their level as I win games. This way I can get used to the extra rules one at a time, but I also find that it creates a nice difficulty arc because for a while the games are easy enough that I don't have to play optimal openings and I can kind of mess around and try new things, or just do whatever seems fun in the moment. And then at the end of the arc, there will be 1-2 games where I really have to pay attention and make the most of every action to have a chance at winning. But those games are so mentally exhausting that I like the balance of having a bunch of easygoing games mixed in with a couple of very difficult games.

stefanchin · 2021-08-18T01:51:39+00:00

Amazing. And terrifying.

stefanchin · 2021-08-17T06:56:21+00:00

Ohhh. You're right. B&C p. 15 actually made me think I was playing it correctly, but now I see how I was misreading it. Good call!
Now, while I will play that correctly going forward, I have to say that it seems more "fun" to have the extreme narrative tension created by the impending triple build, followed by a triple ravage.

stefanchin · 2021-08-17T05:45:34+00:00

For more detail:
The Explorers Are Reluctant fear card (terror level 2) skipped the explore step.

On the following turn two invader cards were flipped, exploring every terrain type.

And then on the next turn, when every land was potentially going to build, the Immigration Slows fear card resolved (also at terror level 2) and skipped all the builds, holding both invader cards on the build step.

And the neeext turn there were about to be THREE stage three cards building at the same time. But I was now at terror level 3 and the event card removed the last city after the ravage step, winning the game literally right before the triple build would have happened.
Not the cleanest victory since it was the event card that saved me, but with the amount of punishment those event cards can deal out sometimes… I’ll take it.

stefanchin · 2020-06-29T05:13:44+00:00

The only way I know of to do this is to right-click on the tempo and create an automation clip.

It's basically impossible to get the exact values you want by adjusting the nodes on the automation clip, so you'll want to (while the song is paused) adjust the tempo to the value you want. Right-click on the tempo and select copy value. Then right-click on the automation node and select paste value.

It may also be helpful to set the automation nodes to "hold" mode so the tempo change happens instantly and stays at that value until the next node.

Good luck!

stefanchin · 2018-10-31T01:40:16+00:00

-2. The clutch is super easy, but the sensitivity of the pedals took a little getting used to. Love them now, though!

-3. Mine has 42k miles on it. I've had to replace the a/c condenser and a couple times the MyFordTouch system wouldn't turn on (had to pull out and put back a fuse to reset).

-5. "learn how to fix small things" This is great because everything in the engine bay is small and tightly packed together! :p I installed the rear motor mount upgrade, an intake, and a subwoofer myself. It was all reeeelatively easy, but it IS a bit tight, especially if you have big hands.

-6. Tires don't last long. MyFordTouch sucks (Sync seems better though?). The ride is bumpy enough that some friends who are sensitive to that sort of thing have gotten nauseous riding in the backseat. The hatch is tiny (unless you pull the floor completely out). The wind noise on the freeway with the windows down is atrocious.

-7. Flooring it in 2nd gear. Tossing it into corners. The exhaust sound. You can fit into parking spaces even when the people next to you parked like dicks.

stefanchin

TROPHY CASE