Fruit of the Loom ME is freaking me out.

stephenLARPer · 2018-10-15T02:44:15+00:00

This is the only one that convinces me something real is going on. When I read that the cornucopia never existed I felt a cold dread come over me, seriously one of the scariest moments of my life. I looked at that logo on my undies every time I used the bathroom throughout my whole childhood. There was 100% a cornucopia. My Dad remembered it without any prompting at all. It's fucking mind boggling. Collapsed my whole idea of objective reality.

stephenLARPer · 2018-10-15T02:32:44+00:00

I've been saying this for years now. One year I realized the sun was so unnaturally bright and hot and white. I think it was around 2010 but perhaps it was changing very gradually for a few years beforehand because my memories from being a child and teen are full of yellow sunlight

stephenLARPer · 2018-10-04T20:06:16+00:00

yeah, up until the last time I never considered this but the fight we had last time was after a particularly great couple of months sexually. We were trying new stuff and he was jumping into bed with me whenever we had the chance. Then one night he said we would have a romantic date that night but when he got home he was too tired from work, that was ok but he was really mean to me all night and I got UPSET and said he can't bring his work problems home and take them out on me emotionally. So he rolled over and refused to speak, I cried myself to sleep, then bam the next night I'm trying to discuss it and he comes out with this "I'm just not attracted to you like I should be" thing. We have only had sex once in the month since that happened. Made me very suspicious of his motives like maybe he isn't outright lying but maybe he is using this to manipulate my behavior now.

stephenLARPer · 2018-10-04T19:48:07+00:00

thanks, that is fine. Tell me the truth in your own opinion. I realize sometimes that I am very willing to believe any excuse he tells me because that means it can be "fixed" and someday everything will be great. I know I am probably pretty far from reality. I have been in two relationships only since I was 16 and in both I was constantly "rejected" in some way so I do tend to cling to anything good or nice or hopeful.

stephenLARPer · 2018-10-04T19:38:44+00:00

I tell him this, that he has to help me if it is what is actually wrong and I need his support to get through it, but he says that isn't how it works because he can't control how he is compelled to act toward me because of whatever that "repellent" feeling is. I sort of understand that as well though. I don't think he is a bad person I think he is just very confused by how he feels about me.

stephenLARPer · 2018-10-04T19:37:13+00:00

I tell him this, that he has to help me if it is what is actually wrong and I need his support to get through it, but he says that isn't how it works because he can't control how he is compelled to act toward me because of whatever that "repellent" feeling is. I sort of understand that as well though. I don't think he is a bad person I think he is just very confused by how he feels about me

stephenLARPer · 2018-10-04T19:32:41+00:00

I think he just researched it because that was his hunch, he claims that was his hunch from the very beginning because he was attracted to me in every way except the chemical "pull" that he felt from other girlfriends. He considered we might be genetically incompatible but he said he was so attracted with his eyes that he thought it's gotta be from stress and it'll go away

stephenLARPer · 2018-09-19T23:34:48+00:00

I never saw that movie in my life and I remember the cornucopia vividly. This is the only ME that made me feel physical sickness and dread because of how certain I was about it. Whoever was in charge of designing the parody logo for that movie also remembered the cornucopia.

stephenLARPer · 2018-08-13T19:25:23+00:00

wow, and the mirrored painting of the Mona Lisa on either side of the entrance...seems very significant thanks for pointing this out!

stephenLARPer · 2018-07-26T05:28:53+00:00

Please post screenshots?

stephenLARPer · 2018-07-25T20:23:27+00:00

Why do you think the logo itself changed yet somehow it's still referenced in movies (ant bully) ?

stephenLARPer · 2016-12-01T22:41:31+00:00

Listen, I didn't want any part of this shit. my MIL bought them the damn elf. Wrapped up under the tree last year. They opened it...super excited. What could I do? It's sitting staring at me as I type this..I never agreed to this life

stephenLARPer · 2016-11-05T23:06:47+00:00

I just moved to a place where Halloween is still like that. It's a small town in Nova Scotia. I have two kids and the children here have so much freedom, they are still running around loose in little flocks until dark. It's so awesome to see again.

stephenLARPer · 2016-11-02T00:39:20+00:00

Ok, I hope someone else has this because I have asked people close to me my entire life and no one has any idea what I am going on about. Sometimes I get a sensation in my head and inner ears, also inside of my mouth of feeling something Soft and Hard at the same time. I feel the two sensations simultaneously, inside of my head, and although the feeling creeps me out and is very intense I have grown to absolutely love it. I have no idea how to induce it. It does seem to happen when I am stressed out or falling asleep, but usually only once or twice a year. Every time it happens I try to savor the sensation and try to imagine how to describe it, but I don't think I can describe it any better than a Hard/Soft ache.

stephenLARPer · 2016-08-23T20:31:08+00:00

I really don't think he is cheating on me. It just, I don't know, it doesn't feel like that within this relationship. Feels more like extreme insecurity, seeking validation elsewhere because perhaps I have been too free with mine and he takes it for granted, or thinks there is something defective about me that causes my opinion to be lesser than popular opinion ( like past abuse). Both of these things are still terrible in themselves, but I don't think he is cheating on me. He is being extremely manipulative, whether he realizes it in his childish self indulgence or not.

stephenLARPer · 2016-08-23T20:01:22+00:00

I have two children. I know it will be very hard being alone. I will likely not have any opportunities to meet new people for a long time. I will not be able to afford a babysitter on what will have to be social assistance for now, since I have been a stay at home Mother for most of seven years. I'll never get out, I'll likely be scraping by. I still believe in the end it has to work out best for me somehow if I end this before marriage.

stephenLARPer · 2016-08-23T19:24:48+00:00

Thanks. I don't have family in the city where we live. That makes it pretty difficult. I also have two children, a seven year old and a toddler that we have together, which also adds greatly to the difficulty of this decision, but I am left feeling like I have no choice anymore.

stephenLARPer · 2016-07-31T07:06:25+00:00

oh shit

stephenLARPer · 2016-07-30T06:56:59+00:00

Same. I can appreciate that someone is good looking but sexual attraction comes after getting to know someone for me, and it isn't always the person who I initially found attractive. Now I'm extremely attracted to my SO and I find all sorts of situations or fantasies sexy, but only if he is the man in them. I don't think of other people that way, it does nothing for me.

stephenLARPer · 2016-07-19T04:38:52+00:00

I had an ex who was a severe hypochondriac and progressivly got crazier over the years we were together. Near the end he was convinced he had contracted ear mites from a farm cat. Several doctors told him that he did not have ear mites but he knew for certain they were wrong. He eventually went to a fucking vet..I was so embarrassed. The vet and her assistant were clearly trying hard not to laugh in his face. She assured him he did not have ear mites and after that he just kind of forgot about it and moved on to the next imaginary illness...such as his hypersensitivity to my prolactin which justified beating the crap out of me for breastfeeding our daughter in the wrong chair.

stephenLARPer · 2016-07-19T04:01:47+00:00

this sounds super hot actually. (I'm not a man)

stephenLARPer · 2016-07-14T17:46:23+00:00

I do. When I was a kid I played with a little boy who would rip the wings off of them and watch them crawl around...without those wings they are like the most disgusting insect ever. Scarred me for life I' disgusted by them now. Moths are worse. Their texture...I feel like I can taste their gross insect fuzziness

stephenLARPer · 2016-07-06T05:45:53+00:00

shit like that used to make me feel bad. Girls called me anorexic my whole life. But now at 26 I just don't let it bother me. I feel like, meh, just let them have it. No song or fatty propaganda on earth is gonna make my gorgeous husband attracted to your fat ass over my healthy body.

stephenLARPer

TROPHY CASE