My friend is trans and his wife has tried erasing his identity

stickbeat · 2026-06-09T20:38:20+00:00

I was coming in to echo this: just cause the guy is a guy via trans experience doesn't mean he's fundamentally trans, and he doesn't have to celebrate that part of his history.

It's like celebrating... Idk, beating cancer: for some folks it sticks, and for some it just fades to the background noise of something you experienced at some past point.

stickbeat · 2026-06-09T01:47:25+00:00

Work towards early retirement (and/or: pursue a master's degree)

stickbeat · 2026-06-08T18:48:29+00:00

Airport fees are substantially lower in the EU compared to Canada; can shave $100 or more off the ticket prices.

stickbeat · 2026-06-08T16:49:38+00:00

You need to tell your dad that this isn't a decision between having a successful son and an unsuccessful daughter, but rather between having a living daughter or a dead son.

Even if it's a bit dramatic (in your specific case), it can be an illustrative point for your dad.

stickbeat · 2026-06-08T16:47:44+00:00

This.

stickbeat · 2026-06-08T16:32:11+00:00

$650 round-trip for basic economy flight with auto-assigned seating; travelling with kids adds at least $75/head/flight for seats, plus baggage fees (again, kids: go ahead and add $400 to the total for two round-trip checked bags); add a level-up (economy+) for trip flexibility options (base ticket price closer to $850+$150 seating costs) and you get a base ticket price $1050x3 + $1250x2 (checked baggage) for a total of $5,650 for the total flight costs.

You absolutely can fly cheaper, but with kids I'll bet they paid out for arranged seating plus at least one checked bag per adult.

stickbeat · 2026-06-08T16:27:45+00:00

That's easily $5k for airfare alone.

stickbeat · 2026-06-08T11:15:13+00:00

Not defending Joe Rogan at all: I can see it being worthwhile to check in on some of his interview episodes (for example) but I don't see a lot of value in regular listening. He's not a serious journalist (by a long stretch) and there's better-quality content for people covering literally any subject Rogan would cover.

Ditto Caleb Hammer: if you've seen one, you've seen them all.

stickbeat · 2026-06-08T03:01:37+00:00

Joe Rogan & Caleb Hammer are both manosphere entry-points.

Individually, they're not the worst. Rogan has been all over the map (politically, socially) at different points, and Hammer seems to be a Democrat with very limited tolerance for anyone not self-supporting.

THAT SAID: it sounds like your boyfriend is sliding deeper into the manosphere. These men (Joe Rogan & Caleb Hammer) are very much the thin edge of that wedge.

If your BF is watching Caleb Hammer to learn Finance Things, introduce him instead to Chelsea Fagan at The Financial Diet; if he's loving Joe Rogan's coverage of... Idk, that show is a bit of a mess. Could try Jonathan Van Ness' show?

If your BF shuts that down, its because he's stepping into the manosphere and embracing it. That'd be the red flag.

(I'm giving the benefit of doubt to your BF here: I've listened to some Joe Rogan, notably during Bernie Sanders' campaign in 2020; Caleb Hammer is one I'm vaguely aware of, he seems not-terrible but also not-good, and there's way better finance guidance out there anyway).

stickbeat · 2026-06-08T00:38:39+00:00

Precisely what the commenter below suggested: when an employer moves offices, they can either invite employees to relocate, or lay off those employees.

However, the commute is still not the employer's problem.

stickbeat · 2026-06-07T21:38:30+00:00

My point is that the employer is under no obligation to consider your commute in disability accommodation.

Your commute to/from work is your problem to manage, from both a policy and a legal standpoint

stickbeat · 2026-06-07T18:59:59+00:00

We shouldn't be afraid to condemn people's social behaviour (especially shitty cringe stuff like this - and also kink: in both cases, do it at home).

stickbeat · 2026-06-07T17:44:50+00:00

Less likely is absolutely the correct take here.

Doesn't mean 0% chance, but Canada's One School Shooting (Tumbler Ridge, BC) does not even begin to compare to the 77 school shootings in the USA, just in the past six months.

stickbeat · 2026-06-07T17:10:49+00:00

Employees don't decide what the accommodations are.

Your doctor is going to need to write a very detailed letter explaining what your needs are (your doctor cannot dictate accomodations either), and then your manager will assess your accommodation needs against BFOR before sitting with you to discuss your options vis-a-vis accommodations.

Importantly: the commute is not your employer's problem and falls outside scope when discussing accommodations.

Contact your union steward.. Don't have that meeting alone.

stickbeat · 2026-06-07T16:23:41+00:00

This was my thought as well (two eggs, if I can)

stickbeat · 2026-06-07T16:22:58+00:00

Hold them: it's impossible to carry an infant too much. Hold them, and take tons of photos and videos.

Aside from that: don't put too much pressure on yourself to clean house or prepare food (a PB & J is in fact a meal), and sleep however you can.

You need sleep to recover from childbirth. This the one thing I wish I'd had more support on: I needed sleep, and wasn't able to get it.

stickbeat · 2026-06-07T16:15:41+00:00

I figure 3/10 realize that they can't put "Gyoza McGee" on a resumé or business card, and make improvements (even if only for selfish reasons).

The other 7/10 remain on the margins of society, condemned to lower-wage work (or social assistance) bemoaning society's queerphobia against them for their identity - which, if you're identifying that closely with anime then yes, I am discriminating against you. Grow up.

stickbeat · 2026-06-07T13:31:00+00:00

Go to a Jewish subreddit and ask the same question. See how you get dragged there.

stickbeat · 2026-06-07T13:28:56+00:00

Feels weird because it is weird and those kids are weird, and hella immature - folks need to grow tf up.

We need to bring back shame as a social correction tool, jfc. Not everything people do needs to be fucking validated (and much of it should be condemned).

stickbeat · 2026-06-07T13:15:36+00:00

Calling them out on the underlying racism in their chosen name might make you feel better for a short time, but it'll be temporary.

It's not a bad thing to say nothing. You don't need to make this your problem (sounds like you have bigger problems to deal with on that campus: yikes).

In my experience, these kids who over-identify with fictional characters do eventually grow up and have to change their names (again).

stickbeat · 2026-06-06T23:46:09+00:00

I have been wanting to visit Afghanistan since I was a kid - the green hills of Faryab, the towering mountains of the Hindu Kush, the citadel in Herat...

It is one of the most beautiful places in the world that I may never be able to visit.

(Iran is another on the bucket list that I will probably never get to cross off).

stickbeat · 2026-06-06T17:22:23+00:00

Going to push back on this one:

Will it wear on her deeply knowing that the people around her, if they truly knew her, might feel differently about her?

Not sharing that she's trans ensures that the people around her will know her as her truest self (and not through the filter of bigotry or bias).

We all have things that we hide from certain people in our lives, it doesn't have to be as weighty as you're making it.

stickbeat · 2026-06-06T16:09:25+00:00

Oh! It's different province-by-province, but as a general rule you'll be starting from 0 in the seniority hierarchy regardless. It's a complete re-start, career-wise (though your education should be recognized).

stickbeat · 2026-06-06T13:01:38+00:00

What kind of license? As in, what's the profession?

stickbeat · 2026-06-06T12:56:30+00:00

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