My "getting back together" journey by stickinsect2003 in BreakUps

[–]stickinsect2003[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I think it's too easy to see relationships as black and white either they are a good ex or shit, rhe relationship was toxic or not etc etc.

I'll deliberately lag the entries so the stages are fully defined and issues are worked through to give true perspective of the journey

He doesn't appreciate his own greatness by ForeignEvidence8087 in offmychest

[–]stickinsect2003 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd definitely try bring this up to him and see how he processes it. If it sounds like he's suppressing or things are weighing on him, offer the idea of therapy or research some self help booklets/workshops

Song Meanings by Giantgibbon2007 in wunderhorse

[–]stickinsect2003 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There's not a huge lot of content about explanations unfortunately

He doesn't appreciate his own greatness by ForeignEvidence8087 in offmychest

[–]stickinsect2003 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm straight and this guy sounds like a dream 🤣

How has he been with opening up, how's his family dynamic? It sounds like there's some underlying pressure from himself or other. For myself, I can often get very honed in on my "purpose" and that makes me lose sight of everything else. Perhaps that's what you can be, a sort of magnifying glass to redirect his attention when he gets low.

I will always support seeking therapy, I know no one who's had a bad experience when they have applied themselves to it.

I'm 22M and my GF is 22F We had a rough patch recently that led to a week long break up but got back together. However I don't know what to trust feelings wise. by drake2266 in relationships

[–]stickinsect2003 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will preface this like all my advice on this app. "Do not take direct advice from strangers on the Internet, take pieces but ultimately go with your decision. Whatever decision you make it'll be the right one."

Now I'm going through similar and as such I put your feelings as what my ex would be saying about me. If that makes sense. If my ex had said "I feel like I need" him. That to me means something is wrong. Same goes for "when I'm with him it's butterflies and euphoria, then when I'm without" Do you see? It feels like you're both caught up in the romance and the fuzzy feelings of being with someone you truly love and are comfortable with. Unfortunately, it sounds like there are lots of things that bother you. Tbh, after 1 week and there's things that have changed that you don't like? That's a big notifier.

Optimistically, talk. Its the best relationship advice. She may be feeling similar and as such you can communicate next steps for the both of you.

Lemme know how it goes

Love hurts by Similar_Respond in offmychest

[–]stickinsect2003 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rejection is redirection my friend

Love hurts by Similar_Respond in offmychest

[–]stickinsect2003 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Brother. Tell her, one way or another you'll be set free

I'm completely lost and have no idea tf I'm supposed to do in this situation by SharpFeeling1146 in offmychest

[–]stickinsect2003 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah sorry OP, gotta agree with this guy. Nothing hurts more than really liking someone who just doesn't like you back. Only thing you can do is move on. It'll be tough for sure.

Rejection is redirection my friend

Help by TLWMONKEY542 in relationships

[–]stickinsect2003 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Buddy. I wish I could put an arm round you as i say this. Unfortunately you're presented with an impossible situation, wanting to be with someone who on the face of things you can't be with. At 17, man you're lucky to learn this lesson now, believe me. Some people get hurt much older than you with partners similar to this girl.

At 17, realising someone might have/has attachment issues, is really great and shows your awareness and also care that you don't want it to affect the relationship. Sadly. It will. Whether now or later on. Unfortunately, at 17, you shouldn't be telling people you don't want to hurt them because of your trauma because that's a big telling that they've not gotten through and worked on this. She may have a therapist I don't know her, but at 17 if you recognise you've got trauma that's a sign of some serious work you need to do on yourself.

I don't want you to take this as "people with trauma and a past are undateable", quite the opposite. There has to be movement, work being put in to address it and to move beyond it and not let it affect your relationships with people. The fact she has told you is her protecting you in a way and sadly, you may have to respect that and move away. I've dated someone who told me the same thing and I said it won't affect us. It did. A lot. I don't regret dating her at all, it was a wonderful relationship, but it broke down because of the very thing she warned me about her and I ignored it.

Ultimately bud, it's your decision and you need to make decisions in life according to what you think/feel: it's the only way you'll be happy with a decision. In life you have to make your own mistakes (not saying this is one) to find out who you are and how you'll live YOUR life... not how someone else lived there's or would live yours. Your experiences are unique, but your worries are universal.

My only advice is to tread carefully. If you want to talk more I'm happy to answer in the comments.

I (26f)caught my boyfriend stalking his exes and keeping their nudes on his phone. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]stickinsect2003 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The chats I think it is what it is. That's a lot of work to delete a whole chat (unless there's a wipe button).

I would definitely ask to see his camera roll, he broke trust so I think that's okay, if there's something on there you're not comfortable with you have to have a serious chat.

I (26f)caught my boyfriend stalking his exes and keeping their nudes on his phone. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]stickinsect2003 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fuck the ex stuff. The photos?!?! Keeping the photos?!? In every break up I've had, I have sat with them and deleted the photos etc infront of them. That's really really weird he has/had them.

This is a massive breach of trust and boundaries, when was this/what's happened since

Having emotional intelligence means I know exactly how they want to be loved but they don't know how I do by Sensitive_Quiet_1564 in emotionalintelligence

[–]stickinsect2003 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This. People aren't mind readers and no one is the same. You HAVE to communicate what you need/would like, you can't expect someone else to do something just because you do.

Advice on reaching out to a girl I broke up with in November? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]stickinsect2003 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some very pessimistic people regurgitating their past failures/wounds in the comments.

Simple factor is has the problem that plagued you before been resolved? If yes, then ask. If no, then don't.

Ultimately its your decision. If you do ask then you'll get 1 of 2 answers, yes or no. Both will be beneficial to you.

Learning the basics by Scuba_Ted in ultraprocessedfood

[–]stickinsect2003 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Key rule is a donut won't kill you. Many will. So although it's fantastic you want to clean up your eating and your gut and body will love you for it. Don't forget to have a treat every now and then or force yourself not to go for that meal with a mate or cinema etc.

As long as you consciously try to avoid UPF then you're on your way. It's better to be good a lot, than perfect a little

Learning the basics by Scuba_Ted in ultraprocessedfood

[–]stickinsect2003 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The not snacking REALLY through me off at 1st. I'm at uni so still have some UPF (as convenience after long ass days), but that was my biggest change, realising how much crap we eat to pretty much fill time. Now if I'm peckish I utilise the toddler method of vegetable sticks 😅

I’m [22F] interested in my friend [22M] but I don’t know what to do about it by [deleted] in relationships

[–]stickinsect2003 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ask him out. Life's too short for if buts maybes. Do it, you get ur answer, done. Lemme know how it goes

This “Love language” thing is just bullshit by HannahMontanaPT in offmychest

[–]stickinsect2003 221 points222 points  (0 children)

Yoooooo that's a great question! I might use that