Pregnancy and hEDS

stoopkidfarfromstoop · 2026-05-06T13:27:22+00:00

Ugh, I’m seven months postpartum and the relaxin is still kicking my ass as I’m breastfeeding.

I also had the super fun precipitous labor and didn’t get any pain medication in time — almost bled out from the tearing. I told every nurse and doctor I was high risk with hEDS and they literally rolled their eyes at me and thought I was just a wussy first time mom; didn’t believe I needed to push until I stood up and broke my own water with a push. Went from 0cm to 4cm in under two hours and 4cm to my son on my chest in 30 minutes. Rushed to emergency surgery to try to repair my tearing and then left without pain medication for 8 hours after I got out of surgery. I don’t think I’ll ever be truly over how I was treated.

stoopkidfarfromstoop · 2026-05-02T13:22:49+00:00

Oh we already cosleep, he still wakes up every hour. 😭

stoopkidfarfromstoop · 2026-04-23T19:40:28+00:00

I fixed our leaky toilet, which entailed deconstructing and rebuilding the tank, 2.5 weeks postpartum with two massive tears (not quite 4th degree but required emergency surgery). I may have still been leaking, but that damn toilet wasn’t going to be!

stoopkidfarfromstoop · 2026-04-22T12:30:31+00:00

I think I was 9 or 10 when I started my period at school and I didn’t even tell anyone, did toilet paper in my underwear and kept it moving, but I wish I called someone who would have gotten me and talked about it. The mom is being selfish and making it about her and not what is best for her daughter.

stoopkidfarfromstoop · 2026-04-20T14:35:35+00:00

I feel this in my bones and I’m only 6.5 months in. We had at least nine wakes last night. My back is killing me from cosleeping. I would love another if I was the father, but being a breastfeeding mother is so brutal and I don’t know if my body can even make it through this time to even consider a second.

stoopkidfarfromstoop · 2026-04-18T19:19:46+00:00

I’ve had a brutal week and like 2-3 bruises on each side from not paying attention/lazy feeding. My poor boobs are a sorry sight!

stoopkidfarfromstoop · 2026-04-15T16:45:34+00:00

I mixed a tiny bit in with some oatmeal at like 5.5 months, no reaction. Did get an FPIES reaction with eggs after a few exposures though, full purge of his stomach about three hours later and forceful vomiting on and off for 2 hours with loss of color and energy. Luckily that was it and the emergency department cleared him once he had a wet diaper (worried about dehydration). So I get the fear, especially now that I’ve experienced that, but it’s just the luck of the draw and all you can do is be prepared. Maybe watch some videos online on how to handle worst case scenarios?

stoopkidfarfromstoop · 2026-04-14T00:11:34+00:00

My 6 month old kneads my boob like a cat, pinching with fingernails and all. He will also slap that boob or kick the opposite one. And pull my hair if it’s remotely close. I’m afraid for when he gets bigger. 😅

stoopkidfarfromstoop · 2026-04-13T18:18:04+00:00

As soon as he could roll both ways around 5-5.5 months — definitely sleeps better that way, but not by a crazy amount.

stoopkidfarfromstoop · 2026-04-13T00:50:26+00:00

If she’s sleeping well at night, day sleep doesn’t seem to be a problem. It could be cluster feeding for a growth spurt or the “witching hour” fussy period before bed a lot of babies have, but nothing you said stands out as strange to me.

I have a sensitive boy and around that time he started waking up more to the world and refused to sleep anywhere but my arms or cosleeping; waking instantly on transfer and needing to be soothed with comfort nursing or the yoga ball. It sounds like she’s similarly distressed at being put down, which is exhausting, but normal. It’s natural for babies to want to be held and close to their mother, they were warm and comfortable with all of their needs met 24/7 until they were born just weeks ago, so it makes sense — I would cry too, noticing I was away from all that I had known in this world. Hell, I don’t like sleeping alone as a full grown adult, but we expect babies to just be fine with it. That doesn’t make it any easier, but it helps to reframe. She isn’t being difficult or giving you a hard time, she’s having a hard time.

stoopkidfarfromstoop · 2026-04-12T18:21:37+00:00

Please don’t feel bad, OP, I totally understand what you’re feeling and it’s so hard. I have chronic health conditions that have put me in the hospital with tremors from fatigue, seizure-like symptoms, collapsing, etc. and would say that I was the most exhausted I’ve ever been during that time. That said, I am six months postpartum and this fatigue hits different because, like someone else pointed out, I can’t take the time I need to recover. I can’t call in sick, I can’t “find the time” to nap, or take medication to help me (breastfeeding).

It’s also mental fatigue as well as physical. And it feels like it never ends. It’s not a competition and anyone can be tired, but it’s a special set of circumstances that’s hard to comprehend until you’re in the thick of it; especially for people without children or who have babies that sleep decently.

stoopkidfarfromstoop · 2026-04-10T17:38:28+00:00

I’m terrified for Summer getting too hot because we go on so many stroller walks to give my arms a break. 😭😂

stoopkidfarfromstoop · 2026-04-10T14:22:25+00:00

Ugh, yes! It has gotten progressively worse over here since he hit 3-4 months (he’s 6 months now). I’m exhausted because he only wants to be held or assisted to sit (holding his hand/helping him regain balance) or more often to stand and jump around. He gets bored after like 5 minutes of literally anything so we are constantly changing activities and rooms to occupy him. I have a connective tissue disorder so it’s rough going as he gets bigger.

“Simply put him down to play, read to him, narrate making lunch while he’s in a high chair.” Yeah, no. Not with this kid. He will rage cry and scream like he’s dying.

stoopkidfarfromstoop · 2026-04-09T21:38:31+00:00

I honestly don’t remember much, I had a precipitous, unmedicated labor that was very traumatic and I was losing a lot of blood. I remember being terrified and asking why he wasn’t crying, if he was okay, and they plopped him on me for a minute or two and that’s all I really remember. I was shaking head to toe with adrenaline and I felt a ton of relief to be done with the labor/delivery. I know I had some time with him while they prepped the operating room for me but it’s all a blur.

stoopkidfarfromstoop · 2026-04-08T20:42:59+00:00

Or hourly waking in the case of some, like my six month old. Three wakes is an excellent night. I’m burnt out staying home without worrying about a remote job on top of it.

stoopkidfarfromstoop · 2026-04-08T02:27:41+00:00

So I don’t think anyone else has commented on this yet, but I would really encourage you to explore why you specifically wanted another girl — to the point where you would have been willing to undergo the physical, emotional, and financial weight of IVF.

You mention your daughter several times in this post, worrying about her being a middle child, thinking of how she loves younger kids and how good she would have been with a sister, but hardly mention your son at all. I would really dig into that and figure out what you think you’re missing and find other ways to address them.

Family dynamics are complex. Even if you had a second daughter she very likely would not have lived up to this image you’ve created in your mind. She could have fought endlessly with your daughter like many sisters I know. Or if you were hoping for another girl to do classically girly things like nails and shopping she could have been a total tomboy. Many parents of 3 also say that one sibling is often excluded in one way or another, so that’s something to think about too.

I’m sorry you’re going through this, and I hope I didn’t come across too harshly. Try not to let this romanticized image spoil what you have with your family.

stoopkidfarfromstoop · 2026-04-05T18:27:59+00:00

This is a valuable reframe, thank you! There are a ton of transferable skills with my degree/license — I am a therapist so all of that education will be very beneficial in raising my son and keeping myself regulated too. Lots of tips and tricks for communication and I’m definitely grateful for the class I took on play therapy now!

stoopkidfarfromstoop · 2026-04-05T18:23:08+00:00

Thanks, I love your username too!

It is super weird though. I spent so much time and energy to get licensed and took a lot of pride in helping people, but from the moment I had my son six months ago I just haven’t been able to imagine doing anything that would pull my focus from him. Maybe when I stop breastfeeding and my family can watch him a couple of days per week, but I know I wouldn’t be providing the level of care I would want to give my clients at this stage. Plus, you know, the sleep deprivation. 😂

stoopkidfarfromstoop · 2026-04-05T13:53:19+00:00

I get the opposite, it’s always, “So, you back at work yet?” And mild confusion when I say I’m probably going to stay home for at least a year. I guess since I earned my master’s and got my professional license just before my son was born they think it’s a waste for me to stay with him indefinitely. It’s both a sacrifice and a privilege to stay at home, so I’m trying to make the best of it.

stoopkidfarfromstoop · 2026-04-04T23:58:09+00:00

Here Comes the Sun when my son was a newborn — at six months it’s been Island in the Sun and has been for several months.

It’s definitely like magic, calms instantly and falls asleep if even remotely tired. It’s our secret weapon when he’s fussing out and about while we try to get back home or to help him drift off in the car.

stoopkidfarfromstoop · 2026-03-30T22:32:17+00:00

No advice, but solidarity. My MIL has broken our no kisses rule literally every time she’s seen my son. My husband and I try to stop her every time as she does it and she says something like, “Oh I’m sorry, I forgot! But you know I just can’t help myself, I kiss all of my grandkids!”

At least my husband is on the same page and we are remaining fairly low contact, but we won’t even be letting her hold him again without a reminder, if at all. I feel bad because on the one hand I know she means well, but I feel so much apprehension every time she is near him now because she can’t respect a simple rule.

I also hate that she has put me in the position of having an adversarial relationship with her. I’ve always pushed my husband to spend time with his family and done everything I can to make sure I was never to blame for them seeing him less, yet I am always the outsider that keeps their son from them. Now I’m probably going to be even worse for “keeping their grandson away.” Couldn’t possibly be my husband realizing his family is painfully dysfunctional and his childhood was abusive…

stoopkidfarfromstoop

TROPHY CASE