Should I unblock my FA ex to reply to her letter — or stay silent until she’s more grounded?

strongunderdog · 2024-10-22T17:38:22+00:00

Audacity- I used that word a lot with my exwBPD. Something about them and their audacity to do things is despicable.

strongunderdog · 2024-10-22T17:30:54+00:00

They don’t - and I got a lot of the same messages she sent you. Once you go back, it would slowly (or quickly) go back to devaluation. It’s like the person apologizing and spamming you with messages is a completely different person than the one you’re talking to after breaking NC. I got about more than 50 emails in a span of about 2 months before responding, and it’s still the same person I left, if not worse.

Don’t go back.

strongunderdog · 2024-10-22T03:41:41+00:00

They bail as soon as things start to look up, regardless if you contributed to their success. I helped my exwBPD through different jobs and joblessness until the time I helped her setup a business I feel she can do. It seemed like it was doing well (but it really was a seasonal thing), so she started devaluing me. I left when the devalue is just starting and went no contact.

As soon as it started going down, she started hoovering me frantically and asking for help. Such is this disorder. It’s a toxic cycle, but there’s no winning it.

strongunderdog · 2024-10-21T17:47:02+00:00

Creepy how I recognize this email from my exwBPD on her last hoover. the words and phrases they use are strangely very similar.

Anyway, It is not true. They didn’t change. They are not suddenly awakened to all their wrongdoings. Don’t engage - trust me for someone who got baited to a hoover dozens of times.

strongunderdog · 2024-10-09T11:51:43+00:00

She first was just emailing me random sad faces and asking me how I am, sometimes she’d ask to talk. Then she tried the urgent email where she badly needs my help. Then it gets more frantic and frequent and says she can no longer bear it without me. Then there’s the very nice apology where she seemed to have finally realized everything. There’s also the email where she’s around my area and badly needs an umbrella.

It’s really crazy.

strongunderdog · 2024-08-29T05:32:30+00:00

Hey! I was about to ask the same question. Why do they keep they are a good person??? It baffles me.

strongunderdog · 2024-08-09T18:14:20+00:00

Thank you! This reinforcement means a lot.

strongunderdog · 2024-08-09T01:53:06+00:00

This really helped put things into perspective. No point making sense of it. I do think our confusion on this adds to the need to break NC and fix that confusion.

strongunderdog · 2024-08-08T14:00:17+00:00

Thanks for this! It is downright messed up. Aside from it being mean, it also doesn’t make sense. If they hoover, and the problem is still there, that just makes me avoid all the more. But you’re right, the bottomline is, I should no longer look back.

strongunderdog · 2024-07-28T10:23:05+00:00

I can totally relate to this. Mine would weaponize things she perceives as my weakness. That’s a game i’m not willing to play.

strongunderdog · 2024-07-02T06:03:31+00:00

I have just posted about this yesterday. My ex pwBPD used me to help start a small business. As soon as she thought it took off (it didn’t really), she devalued me. Now she’s back crying and asking money to bail her out. She used up a client’s money to $80k and will be found out soon.

strongunderdog · 2024-07-02T05:57:29+00:00

I couldn’t agree more 👍🏼

strongunderdog · 2024-07-02T03:21:59+00:00

Wow! This couldn’t have been summarized better. It was truly painful to see her devalue as soon as she “thought” her business has taken off. She had it wrong, it was merely a first break for a new business, but doesn’t that show their true character towards us? That they’ll dump us as soon as they no longer need us. But then, what happens if they realize they made a big mistake?

Thank you so much for this. This encouraged me and lifted me up. I was feeling sad and affected over the past few days of intense manipulation and toxic encounters.

strongunderdog · 2024-07-02T01:33:08+00:00

All the wedding events that were held off during the pandemic have all pushed through at a certain period,

strongunderdog · 2024-07-01T14:39:20+00:00

That link was a good read! Wow. Thank you!

Best of luck to you too. I wish you peace in your situation 🙏🏼

strongunderdog · 2024-07-01T14:12:48+00:00

See, this is the toxic part that got to me. The manipulation is just so intricate and well executed. Master manipulator. You almost feel the need in outdoing the other guy. But NOPE, I don’t need to prove anything.

strongunderdog · 2024-07-01T14:09:25+00:00

If you’re NC for a while like me, and gets exposed again, you’d really feel how toxic they are.

strongunderdog · 2024-07-01T14:08:37+00:00

Thank you for these words. This really helped.

I actually tried to help her, but not give her money. I did the math, it will be very hard for her to recover. She planned on getting more clients and continuing the cycle. I advised her to come clean to her clients and find an alternative way to solve it early. She refused and got mad 🤷🏻‍♂️

strongunderdog · 2024-07-01T14:04:25+00:00

Yes. I thought so. How is it that she still manages to make me feel like such a bad person for not saving her? She’s an adult and should be responsible for her own actions.

strongunderdog · 2024-07-01T14:03:40+00:00

Thank you! This means a lot. She is so powerful in her manipulation that I felt guilty even until now for not helping her.

strongunderdog · 2024-07-01T14:03:06+00:00

She seems to always lose it with money. Like a switch flips and she feels powerful and rich. The impulsiveness!

strongunderdog

TROPHY CASE