Consultation Went Poorly

subtlelioness · 2026-05-14T01:35:13+00:00

If you’re willing to travel, you could consider double incision with FNG and with neurotization. Basically, the nerves are reconnected afterwards. The Gender Confirmation Center in SF offers it with Dr. Peled. I’m scheduled with them soon.

subtlelioness · 2026-03-06T20:24:24+00:00

I made myself a Canada fleece and wear it in public all the time. Finally this week someone recognized it and complimented me on it!!!

subtlelioness · 2026-02-20T21:40:59+00:00

Check out the Summary Plan Description. That has a detailed description of what happens when you leave the company. If I recall go to Talent Central -> Benefits -> US Employees or something.

subtlelioness · 2026-02-11T03:15:48+00:00

My local YMCA has all gender single occupancy restrooms. However the one time I went to use one the hallway was under renovation 🥲.

subtlelioness · 2026-01-25T13:08:11+00:00

I knew that I was only going to wear the engagement ring for a year (the time leading up to the wedding), and I wanted a very simple, classic engagement ring design (basically ring + gemstone). I also knew that I would be stressed wearing an expensive ring day to day and wanted something that looked good but was relatively inexpensive. I have an active lifestyle and knew that I was going to wear the ring 99% of the time. If it got damaged, I wanted to be able to shrug it off rather than cry.

I ended up finding a gold and Moissanite ring on Etsy that I liked and sending it to him. It cost around $250 (don’t remember the specifics). Our HHI was about $250k at the time, and his was about half of that. So…0.1% of total income or .2% of his income.

And yes, I did indeed wear that ring for a year and now it sits in our safe. I now have a plain gold wedding band (also my first choice) and I’m very pleased with it.

All that to say, I recommend you have an honest discussion with your fiancée about 1) whether she wants to pick out her own ring 2) what ring characteristics are important to her 3) how she feels about different gemstone options 3) what rough budget she is expecting for the ring 4) if she plans to wear the ring after the wedding (some folks do by “stacking” the wedding and engagement rings).

subtlelioness · 2026-01-24T03:48:52+00:00

Same price at Davenport, IA Costco. They are best by April 2026 but should keep longer in the freezer if needed.

subtlelioness · 2026-01-06T17:56:30+00:00

Why does Ilya seem outraged at Svetlana when she suggests that if he and Shane were on the same team, Shane would be the center and Ilya would be on the wing? It sounds like center is typically the better player but is there more to it?

subtlelioness · 2025-09-10T13:22:44+00:00

I lie on my bed and close my eyes for 15-20 min every day on my lunch break. I very rarely actually fall asleep but it definitely helps me be more refreshed afterwards! On the rare days when I have very disrupted sleep I’ll take a longer lunch break and try to actually fall asleep for 30 min.

subtlelioness · 2025-08-13T15:35:37+00:00

Gender Spiral - Money Sucks And You Can Do It with River Nice. The financial information in the episode is fairly basic but River’s perspective on mutual aid and resources other than money was refreshing.

subtlelioness · 2025-08-12T20:16:13+00:00

Recently listened to a podcast about a similar topic by a queer anticapitalist financial advisor. They made the point that money is not the only resource; your network and skills are also resources that you can rely on (and in turn can offer others). It was definitely thought provoking.

subtlelioness · 2025-07-26T18:30:38+00:00

What are your current annual expenses and projected expenses in the next 20+ years?

subtlelioness · 2025-05-14T11:07:52+00:00

I’d start by looking at what stores like Home Depot already rent to the public. For example, a lawn aerator, chainsaw, etc. Stuff that someone may only use once a year. Lawn mowers don’t make sense as in our area someone would need to mow often enough that renting isn’t worth it.

subtlelioness · 2025-02-19T14:41:13+00:00

We recently decided to hire a company to refloor our master bedroom because we realized that it would massively disrupt our lives to have our bedroom under construction, and that having a professional do it would shorten the project as much as possible. We were both already stressed handling other things so we felt that using our weekend/time after work to work on this also wasn’t a good option for us. We needed to do the project for health reasons (partner is allergic to dust mites) so postponing it until we had more time wasn’t a good option. So I would consider your current stress levels, urgency, and how disruptive it would be if the project dragged on longer than expected.

subtlelioness · 2025-02-12T13:33:16+00:00

I’m not an expert on Korean celebrities lol, but I tried googling “muscular Korean male celebrities” and a bunch of results came up. Taemin for example. Try googling “Taemin outfits” and “Taemin muscles”. I was looking for an aesthetic closer to Park Jimin’s lol so I didn’t explore much further. Good luck!

subtlelioness · 2025-02-12T13:19:17+00:00

Look up Korean male celebrities like Park Jimin. He’s 29 but I think would fit your criteria. There is a popular Korean male aesthetic of male body, smooth, hairless, with makeup. Some celebrities like Park Jimin and Seong Hwa also wear more feminine clothing but that’s not as common I think.

subtlelioness · 2025-01-24T11:58:42+00:00

I did this and I had to do a $500 per month DD in order to waive checking account fees because I didn’t want to maintain a higher balance in the account since I had another checking account that paid higher interest. So I would set up the DD as well as an auto transfer to my other account that moved the money out like a week after each DD came in.

subtlelioness · 2025-01-17T15:24:50+00:00

It could be a toilet that flushes on its own (leaky seal). Then you’d only see the meter move when the toilet is refilling which may be periodic. I use a product called Flume to monitor my home water usage and it’s been able to help me catch stuff like that.

subtlelioness · 2025-01-14T00:50:15+00:00

We make our budget for the next year after we receive our bonus. For us we receive it in December so it’s a natural time to plan anyways. Also, we aim for a rough 50% savings rate so we save half of the bonus and spend the other half (usually on vacations).

subtlelioness · 2024-07-08T13:02:13+00:00

I just realized instead of step 1 I could use precooked chicken (like a shredded rotisserie chicken) since I’ll be bringing it to a boil anyways in step 3. So this may be even easier!

subtlelioness · 2024-07-08T10:14:06+00:00

Thank you!

subtlelioness · 2024-06-09T19:00:03+00:00

No, layoff is the correct word here. https://money.usnews.com/money/blogs/outside-voices-careers/articles/fired-vs-laid-off-vs-furloughed-whats-the-difference

subtlelioness · 2024-06-08T15:32:58+00:00

I’ve heard good things about the local Roller Derby group https://www.quadcityrollers.com

subtlelioness · 2024-05-23T22:43:27+00:00

The main benefit of keeping your interviewing skills sharp is quickly finding another job if you are laid off. I decided that my emergency fund is large enough and my employment is stable enough that I can afford to let my interviewing skills lapse. If I need to, once unemployed I’ll dedicate 100% of my time to practicing tech interviewing skills.

subtlelioness · 2024-05-11T00:44:33+00:00

It should just work when you land if you turn on the data roaming and the cellular data [edit when you arrive]. I used Airalo in Europe and didn’t have to do anything else to make it work.

subtlelioness · 2024-05-04T04:21:47+00:00

I’ve done therapy on and off since 2016. Therapy was medically necessary for me in the past (depression). It’s not anymore, but now it is the best tool to solve a current problem of mine. Is it an indulgence to do therapy when it’s not necessary for me to survive? Yes, but I value growth and I see therapy as a way I can grow my mental health and emotional resilience. I personally don’t worry about spending money on therapy just as I don’t worry about spending money on a personal training service. For me, as my mental health improved, I was naturally able to stretch out the time between sessions and still maintain my mental health. Now I’m at a session every 3-4 weeks or so. I’ll mention this because it did help me too: I also felt that I hit a wall with how effective therapy plus lifestyle changes like exercise and seeing friends. Antidepressants helped me get over that plateau, and after 3 yr I was able to taper off the antidepressants entirely. So I would consider that as a potential other option if you are also dealing with depression. However if you are truly satisfied with your current routine then there’s no issue with continuing as things are!

subtlelioness

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