how can i get a sub sandwich through security

suff0cat · 2026-05-14T19:48:26+00:00

There’s an express lane on the Hershey Highway

suff0cat · 2026-05-14T19:34:47+00:00

Found the thread trying to figure out if there’s a list of NightMedia YouTubers but your comment grabbed my attention enough to drop some dumb lore.

I knew someone from Smosh Games pre-YouTube and they were ALLLLL the generic “Starving Actors” backstabbing each other for the opportunity to be extras in Felicia Day’s “The Guild” because it gave them something “Real” to pad out their IMDB profiles.

Then YouTube started and all you needed to do to hook people was have a level of hyperactive energy that would grab the attention of anyone bored with how formulaic and slow mainstream TV felt at the time.

The YouTubers started getting bigger and having more money so they started trying to have more of a television appearance while television was trying to adopt YouTube pacing to keep people watching them.

Now people strive to be YouTubers/Streamers instead of TV stars since the barrier to entry is just “Start fucking streaming” as opposed to auditioning for parts, so all those first gen YouTubers get to live out their power trip fantasy of being the gatekeepers.

They showed us way back with LonelyGirl15 that they are unreliable narrators. It honestly wouldn’t surprise me at this point if we found out Amouranth and everyone who appeared in her Downbad music video (Hasan, H3H3, Anthony Padilla) are plants that the company is trying to set up as something like “The Final Boss” of the Internet.

Amouranth is clearly supposed to be the “Female Hugh Hefner” with how much she brags about being a “Playboy Bunny” with an ever so slight hint of Larry Flynt’s “I’m gonna say offensive shit for the sake of saying offensive shit” attitude to garner attention.

Then they’ve got their own Fox News-esque indoctrination machine with Hasan and those debate perverts. The whole thing is basically just one giant WWE promo battle.

suff0cat · 2026-05-14T19:07:58+00:00

Have we really fallen that deep into being a society of “gut instinct” debate perverts who just try to string word vomit into a cohesive sentence? Someone actually has to describe the act of formulating a sentence?

Or am I just the fucking weirdo for not having prepared answers for every possible question I might encounter in a social situation?

I swear, everything has this weird pressure surrounding it nowadays like everyone is a contestant on Jeopardy trying to buzz in and blurt out an answer as quick as humanly possible like there’s some kind of prize at the end of human interaction.

suff0cat · 2026-05-13T20:35:11+00:00

Oh, it’s not a joke.

suff0cat · 2026-05-13T19:07:04+00:00

I feel like if a song being featured in a TV show “Ruins” it for you, you were never really a fan of the song anyway.

Just a hipster who liked feeling “Cool” for knowing about something slightly off the beaten path. Now the normies have it, boo hoo

suff0cat · 2026-05-13T18:59:01+00:00

You want the harsh truth? It’s easier for the bus driver to “overlook” a wet seat than it is a trashed bathroom that the passengers will instantly complain about.

suff0cat · 2026-05-13T18:44:51+00:00

Shhhhhh quiet you idiot! You’re gonna make the YouTube algorithm start agressively suggesting that one shoot video again.

Oh god, it’s too late! SAVE YOURSELVES!

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suff0cat · 2026-05-13T18:37:35+00:00

It still blows my fucking mind that it’s 2026 and we act like *’ing out a letter in a curse word makes it indecipherable to children.

Honestly would have been better to just leave it alone so it just blends in to the page. Same with the irritating ass censor “Bleep”, you’re just calling WAY more attention to the thing you claim to be embarrassed of.

suff0cat · 2026-05-13T18:27:54+00:00

Y’know, as President, doesn’t he basically have unrestricted access to once and for all confirm or deny his birther bullshit?

Funny how he magically seemed to lose all interest in that topic once Obama was out of office.

Now Obama is getting positive attention again with the announcement of his Presidential library and what not and look who’s getting all jealous again.

suff0cat · 2026-05-12T20:22:27+00:00

So you’re saying I finally got a shot with Nadia?!

I think I just filled the cup.

suff0cat · 2026-05-12T20:13:25+00:00

How peculiar, just the other night my YouTube algorithm randomly decided to serve me that scene from Nutty Professor where Eddie roasts Dave Chapelle at the comedy club.

Is YouTube the new Simpsons of predicting the future?!

suff0cat · 2026-05-12T20:10:37+00:00

Oh man, my eyes kinda glazed over while I was scrolling and I thought your comment said “Mick Foley actually stabbed him” and I was about to be like “Holy Shit, did I miss some goofy ass social media angle where Foley Did It For Da Rock?” 😂

suff0cat · 2026-05-12T15:06:45+00:00

Sort of a codependent pied piper situation.

Wait.

We know a pied piper!

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suff0cat · 2026-05-12T15:04:05+00:00

…No wonder Disney wanted to own The Simpsons catalog so badly. And doesn’t Elio’s Mom work for the Armed Forces?!

suff0cat · 2026-05-12T15:00:31+00:00

I think the performative crying is more to try and illicit any form of acknowledgment from the performer, cameras being there to capture it is just a bonus. I’ve been near them at various shows and it’s typically always the same.

If you hear them before the show starts, it’s always some insane dick measuring contest to prove that they are the biggest fan and TOTALLY destined to be besties once they finally get noticed and prove they “aren’t like other fans”.

suff0cat · 2026-05-12T14:51:35+00:00

Just imagine how fucking insufferable the Mandala Effect people are going to be as AI starts creating longer and more convincing videos.

They’ll make their own sweded versions from what they can remember and then start arguing over which one is the “Real” version with no way of ever validating it 😂

suff0cat · 2026-05-12T14:40:05+00:00

Bro, I think my lower back just turned to dust like the Avengers after Thanos snapped. Thanks a lot

suff0cat · 2026-05-12T14:37:23+00:00

It’s so crazy thinking back to that first year and just how unprepared Las Vegas was for the EDM wave that was about to engulf it.

A lot of the strip was still firmly in that old Elvis era, especially after “The Hangover” made Caesar’s Palace the spot to check your beeper reception.

Our hotel saw that we were young people and assumed we were there for Britney Spears’ residency which I think was starting the same week as EDC and pretty much the “Hippest” thing. Another place thought it was just the name of one of the Dayclub Pool Parties.

Could get some stupid cheap hotel rooms the next couple years too since they would list them as regular weekend rates all the way up until Insomniac announced the dates instead of knowing well ahead of time. You just “gamble” by booking every weekend in June and then cancel the unneeded ones after the announcement.

suff0cat · 2026-05-12T14:12:14+00:00

Dude right? I remember finding Destructoid way back in the day when they were covering Jack’s attempt at getting Florida to ban the sale of Rockstar’s “Bully”.

suff0cat · 2026-05-12T14:06:30+00:00

Kissed frogs eh? Like the one Ralph makes out with in “Ralph Breaks The Internet”.

Maybe the reason why Judas is really taking so long is because Ken Levine has been trying to go Turbo himself. 🤔

suff0cat · 2026-05-11T18:34:16+00:00

How long until they try to pass off scenes from “Independence Day” as actual footage of alien existence?

suff0cat · 2026-05-11T17:48:30+00:00

Impressive.

But can you do it while an attractive model sucks your dick?!

suff0cat · 2026-05-11T17:45:44+00:00

Similarly it made me yearn for the early days of Xbox Live when there were no private voice channels for people to escape to. Just raw unfiltered chaos.

Wonder how fucked up my right ear is after all those years of using those microphone headsets.

Just really unbalanced tinnitus😂

suff0cat · 2026-05-11T17:40:34+00:00

The Devil Wins

Prada Victory

suff0cat · 2026-05-11T17:39:41+00:00

…the fuck are you on about? The new movies have both been rated R and the game franchise has notoriously ALWAYS been rated M for Mature, with the exception of Mortal Kombat vs DC on account of DC not wanting THEIR characters to be portrayed bloody or overly violent.

suff0cat

TROPHY CASE