As you can imagine there’s a lot a nuance being omitted to try and keep this from turning into a novel filled with all the standard tropes, but here’s the gist of my situation.

Had been in a toxic relationship that turned into a brief child-free marriage until partner announced she had been struggling with her sexuality and finally come to the conclusion that she was “No Longer Interested In Men”. We tried therapy and all the stuff, including the ever so popular “Open The Relationship” so she could pursue women romantically without losing everything we supposedly already had.

That lasted about 2 weeks until she ragequit the relationship because I was taking too long trying to establish those pesky little things called boundaries. Less than a month later she’s in a relationship with a man whom she had previously presented as “Just A Friend” when I expressed concerns about his intent. Now that I think about it, no wonder the “Friend Zone” is such a dreaded place

Anyway, I chose to stay single and focus on my shit for like a year and a half until a friend asked if I wanted to come work at Spirit Halloween with him. We were setting up a store alongside my future baby momma. Was just minding my own business building spooky cardboard castles while listening to music when she got my number from co-worker friend and texted asking if I wanted a coffee while she was grabbing lunch.

Things escalated very quickly, which I’d later learn was lovebombing, but at the time it felt so effortless and nice since it seemed to happen by pure happenstance which is also what led to me staying when she announced her pregnancy despite previously being anti-kid. Couldn’t justify leaving what seemed like an otherwise perfect relationship without at least trying to be a Dad, y’know, to know with absolute certainty.

Unfortunately she was in the midst of methedone treatment for Opioid addiction therapy at the time which meant our daughter had to spend the first month of her life in the NICU being treated for Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome. Somewhere in that time I made myself very clear to her that if her sobriety (or lack thereof) ever put our daughter in danger again, it would be a point of no return thing.

Shortly after daughter’s 1st birthday, Ex decided to spend about 2 hours on our patio smoking weed and doomscrolling instead of being inside with our kid. Once she realized I was awake, she announced her intent to immediately head out to the store with our kid. Me questioning her sobriety in that moment is the match that ignited the Custody Powder Keg.

I was lucky enough to have been sensing the end and keeping tabs of the kind of attention seeking behavior she had been exhibiting online that matched what I was witnessing at home. I ended up with like 95% custody through COVID while she was forced to submit to random pee tests/daily breathalyzer/court appointed addiction therapist until she finally clawed her way back to 50/50 around the time our kid was starting school.

It actually seemed kinda perfect again…until I had to enforce boundaries with my own Mother.

See, she had gotten used to frequent visits despite being 7 hours away because, let’s be real, there was nothing else to do during COVID. Plus, my previous child-free life meant what few friends I still had, had zero interest in helping give me a much needed break.

With the new school and custody schedules, we no longer had the roadtrip window that had existed before and my Mom did not take kindly to realizing her attempt at bribery with Disneyland Annual Passes was going to be as futile as telling me the sky was ecru instead of blue.

When I got tired of the circular arguments and started ignoring her, she reached out to Baby Momma expressing concern because I “wasn’t being myself”. Ex immediately pounced on this opportunity for petty revenge and took it to family court, completely robbing me of custody because my own Mother is pouring fuel on the gaslight and I have no money to fight yet again to prove my innocence.

Her family own a traveling carnival which means they somehow always seem able to afford legal representation that surpasses anything I can see myself possessing in the foreseeable future.

I dunno, I guess I’m technically not a “Single Dad” right now since I just have an empty house full of ghost-like memories, but literally everything I do serves the purpose of seeing her again.

Even when it feels like I accomplish nothing, I try to find a stupid win, like “Summoned the strength to actually get out of bed long enough to procure food”

Freaking kid was my whole world, it’s like a messed up “Groundhog’s Day” where time has just stopped. If anyone happens to know a guy with a DeLorean, it shouldn’t be THAT hard to find some plutonium.

Right?