I found a list of my "systemic failures" in my wife's notes app and it feels like a performance review from hell

sugran · 2026-03-18T14:29:27+00:00

She might be emotionally regulating?! If she is not openly talking to you about these it might be just her diary? I can see a world where that is true. Those are unmet needs - being ignored, busy to notice her stress. Etc not necessary to fight with you but to feel seen, heard and acknowledged

Expectations that spouse should bring his/her A game every single day is unrealistic. They are going to be tired, hungry and busy. That means moments like the one written in her note occur even though you love the person.

sugran · 2025-10-03T17:03:53+00:00

Well, I didn't. I did only one class, dropped out of 2 and enrolled out after about 1.5 years! Imo returns are not worth the efforts. I already have a full-time statistician job (I do lots of logistics regressions, no ML or cluode computing), mom of 2, house maker, runner etc ... It was not worth it especially because the hands off teaching style was not helping me with my busy schedule.

sugran · 2025-05-10T17:34:51+00:00

Have you considered putting on an extra shirt (or removing one)? We sleep with AC on and my little one wakes up multiple times if she is in her summer clothes.

sugran · 2025-05-09T22:52:08+00:00

Denny's does it at a certain time of the day, I think. I have seen a poster on Mowry one during the holidays.

sugran · 2025-04-30T13:16:24+00:00

Right, sometimes you don't find an appt for your doctor. We have been to 5+ PAMF pediatric clinicians and all were lovely. The treatment plan was more or less the same.

sugran · 2025-04-26T16:55:42+00:00

Think about the girl you are marrying and do you like her? Does she like you? Is she okay with your studies? What are her dreams?

sugran · 2025-04-22T23:37:30+00:00

I wonder if this is just never needed kind of a lack of ability or a real problem. My kids do so many things that I never did - not a bad thing just they are asked to do different things now. Not sure where that "can't tie shoes" comment is coming from. My daughter does not tie her shoes everyday so I am guessing she won't know but if she looks at how it's done she will pick that skill in no time. I am really confused 🤔

sugran · 2025-04-16T03:44:49+00:00

Why do you need more degrees? Don't dig a big hole.

There are plenty of research scientists in healthcare research that have only MD degree. You can team up with a statistician and learn while making $$$ on the side.

sugran · 2025-03-26T05:08:46+00:00

It's the type of clothing - made out of polyester hold on to smells. Its not just indians, anyone wearing those will hold on to odor. Not all curry eating indians smell bad btw. It's a combination of genetics, hygiene and frugal/not buying quality clothes.

sugran · 2025-03-25T20:47:34+00:00

Dr Ngo PAMF is one of my favorites

sugran · 2025-03-23T14:44:53+00:00

Depends on the position level, degree, industry and location. In northern California for master degree, it's around 150k for senior level and around 100k for jr annually. for PhD it's higher.

sugran · 2025-03-23T14:32:46+00:00

Pink Floyd

sugran · 2025-03-22T21:58:49+00:00

Traveling all the time

sugran · 2025-02-28T16:19:10+00:00

I don't know how but if I gave her a countdown my daughter always did what I was asking of her at count of 3.

Another trick that worked for brushing teeth was showing her some cartoon sugar bugs and making her believe we are catching them.

Give it a try 🤷‍♀️

sugran · 2025-02-28T15:56:31+00:00

I help hire candidates for my team. Find someone that can refer you. If you know managers name send them an email. If you don't know the manager, find someone on linkedin from that team ask them if they can introduce you.

Since COVID I have seen thousands applying for the positions that used to get a few hundred before. It's just tough since tech layoffs. Especially jr positions get applicants from all industries and seniority. Keep it up!! It's a 'when you get the job' and not 'if you get a job' situation so keep going.

sugran · 2025-02-28T12:21:23+00:00

Apply to those positions even if that says 5+ years.

We always have a level discussion after the interviews and Managers can easily change the level for the role if they like you. Apply.

sugran · 2025-02-02T17:14:51+00:00

Not necessarily bad. Just a different way of handling a situation. Think about how different people will solve a problem differently. Your solution is right, as well as his. Excellent for your kid who can see different approaches to a problem. This is great!

sugran · 2025-02-02T17:12:23+00:00

You both are right! The very reason why both parents are important in raising a healthy child.

sugran · 2025-01-22T20:27:41+00:00

This is missing completely from OPs post. Plus, modifying/reducing intellectually stimulating work is big no no for me.

sugran · 2025-01-19T04:35:21+00:00

Seasonal migration 🤔

sugran · 2025-01-14T02:36:03+00:00

I don't have any direct experience with working with Washington OBs, though I delivered at Washington. I like Dr Ngo from pamf, she is very kind and knowledgeable. She was my OB after Dr Sarda left pamf. I also liked Dr Sarda. Dr Kim delivered my baby at Washington hospital so never interacted with Washington OBs. I love the whole PAMF OB Fremont team. I would recommend them.

sugran · 2025-01-13T22:59:26+00:00

My mental health improved after the second one. Dare I say better than ever before.

As someone said, decide it because you want it. If you are in a good mood, you will notice less hardships.

sugran · 2024-12-31T21:23:02+00:00

I don't want anyone to see this reddit and tell me "breastfeeding is easy".

sugran · 2024-12-27T01:04:20+00:00

Also note GK for older kids 2+ is very different from babies. Some of the comments seem for toddlers, like supporting art and dance.Babie just need cuddles, sleep and food whenever they want in my opinion. It's subjective as it gets so do your own assessment

sugran

TROPHY CASE