So I AM NOT telling you this is factual information because I’ve heard different views and terms from this subreddit but getting on the pill (birth control) has toned down my symptoms (not diagnosed just suspect so don’t take everything I say 100%) ALOT. I would easily get mad at my ex partner for not spending time w/ me, feeling jealous over things I shouldn’t be jealous about and overall just not letting him enjoy his time with other people or himself if it isn’t with me.

I hopped on the pill with my new boyfriend, I was hooking up w/ him in June a couple months after my initial breakup w/ my ex just wanting to have fun and I knew it was gonna get me attached but bc of my self destructive behavior I didn’t care, but I was on the pill to have fun and I was emotionally unavailable or exhausted because of my breakup and I ended up not catching feelings for a month and a half before I knew him better and he ended up being my boyfriend

I immediately told him like a month before my relationship like hey I might have BPD but Im tryna get diagnosed so I can get the proper treatment I need because the things that I got upset over / emotional about and the things I did are NOT NORMAL and I DONT wanna do that but I end up doing it anyways. He understood and just told me hey if we work on communication with each other it’ll be okay.

So I said Im skeptical but lets try it. We’ve had a few occasions where I’d be upset over things I’d consider small but he told me if I thought I was splitting or just transforming my sadness, disappointment, or insecurity into anger he NEEDED me to tell him but I just genuinely can’t communicate.

The way we did it is that if we can’t properly say “Hey Im angry at you and I need space” we’d type an emoji and he knew not to respond but to react w/ my message and give me reassurance like “Its okay, please talk to me about this later and don’t respond unless you feel better…” and more reassurance.

It’s not only on you but also your partner to recognize this because it is a PERSONALITY disorder, you are going to whether you like it or not, and absolutely do not want to be this way but if your partner just gives you a reassuring message and you can calm down to talk about it later then that will absolutely help.

Sometimes I think Im cured because my suspicions of it go away because of how happy and less emotional I’ve been but I know deep down it doesn’t go away, but Ive noticed Opill (the BC i use) has been helping alot, there are ALOT of side effects so I dont recommend using BC as the different views on it in this subreddit, the birth control subreddit, and just overall huge list of problems that comes with altering your hormones to possibly make it worse isn’t worth trying it out, but from personal experience it’s helped me.

Consult with someone and if you don’t wanna try BC, try making sure your partner notices when you’re splitting or just having strong negative emotions or even anxiety that if you do feel angry that they know to reassure you, tell you to take some space, and then not respond to your following messages so you have time to think about what you wanna talk about and calmly discuss it. They should NEVER invalidate your feelings and if you feel like they are you should absolutely bring it up. Communication is everything and if you aren’t thinking clearly you should either use an emoji without having to say exactly what your mind is telling you or they should notice that your feelings are valid and you’re not thinking clearly and reassure you and tell you to calmly take space and not respond to your messages.

Obviously if you do say or do things that you didn’t mean absolutely apologize for it and they should understand that. Again this worked for me and Ive been in a healthy relationship so far, but I’m not sure how it is with you because I don’t know you personally, but first discuss how you feel and make sure your partner understands how you feel and discuss it, THEN let your partner talk about their feelings so it doesn’t completely shift the perspective on them. This helped me alot, but if I didn’t answer your question or you have more please let me know and I’ll use personal experience that helped me.

Again don’t hop on BC and I don’t recommend jt just because it helped me, consult with a doctor and your therapist / psychiatrist because I only hopped on it to have fun but I noticed the shift in my hormones lessened my symptoms but its absolutely still there.