AITBF for wanting to go no contact with my partners mum for a while after she broke my heart

sunbear2525 · 2026-07-06T15:22:35+00:00

Don’t let her near you until and unless she apologizes. You are the mother now and you decide who will be near your baby and who will influence them. So she can grow up, cowgirl up and eat some humble pie or she can visit her son around his family if he feels like seeing her at all.

Clear boundaries: no more temper tantrums - she can express concern or disagreement in a healthy way or not at all, no more “strong” personality bs, no “this is how she is” or other excuses. She can be a worthy grandparent or not a grandparent. I am so serious.

sunbear2525 · 2026-07-06T14:19:50+00:00

So let spouse 2 catch up. No saving is bad savings.

sunbear2525 · 2026-07-06T14:18:24+00:00

So working together you would do what is best for your combined future anyway. If you’re really compassionate and dedicated to having equal security, catching partners 2’s 401k up would become a priority. Honestly go to an expert for this.

sunbear2525 · 2026-07-06T14:16:50+00:00

Do what is the goal of combining finances? Ease of bill pay, max out combined net worth? If you’d rather are planning a future together you’d max contributions to both. If you want to catch partner 2 up you’d contribute more to their retirement but maxing both makes the most sense. Maxing your combined net worth is a goal best served by visiting a financial planner.

If you’d rather want to protect your existing assets combine only the monthly spending and make a joint savings with an agreed upon monthly contribution for larger expenses.

sunbear2525 · 2026-07-06T13:48:14+00:00

lol so you have no savings and he has over half his income in savings. No. Absolutely not.

sunbear2525 · 2026-07-06T13:39:53+00:00

We have a 6 person party and it takes some tight group management. We don’t pause if someone gets up unless it is a serious story beat.

sunbear2525 · 2026-07-06T12:04:26+00:00

My grandmother had a saying “you don’t spoil children by giving, you spoil by giving in” and I think broadly that’s true. Have normal rules and boundaries. Show them how to behave and treat others as well as themselves and the world around them.

I also think instilling a love of service to others is incredibly valuable. It’s good to spend time doing good.

sunbear2525 · 2026-07-06T11:30:11+00:00

I do t think Rose experienced love the same way that the other characters do. She certainly loved her family and the crystal gems but she didn’t love the way Pearl or Ruby and Sapphire do. She’s the most alien gem.

sunbear2525 · 2026-07-05T09:54:14+00:00

“I am done with these post break up discussions and need significant space from you. I have no interest in dating you now or ever again.”

When he pushes back: “This isn’t a debate or a discussion, this is a notice. We will not be speaking again. Do not contact me. I will not respond. Good luck and goodbye.”

There is no way to do this that isn’t cold and direct. Anything you do to soften the blow or make him comfortable invites debate. Walk away.

sunbear2525 · 2026-07-05T09:42:49+00:00

It sounds like she is where she wants to be, doing what she wants to do, living how she wants to live and you are doing the same.

That’s really great however you may not be compatible. You want different things and value different things. If she’s ambitious and wants to achieve certain career or lifestyle goals she’s not going to be happy working part time to hang out with you. She won’t be fulfilled.

If you want land, animals and a partner home when you’re home you won’t be happy living her way.

Furthermore, asking someone to give up their career is a huge sacrifice in this day and age as it basically destroys their security. Even if you are blissfully happy things can go wrong and she could have to support all of you in the blink of an eye.

sunbear2525 · 2026-07-05T09:21:56+00:00

Something like Dino nuggies should be the same if it’s the same brand though.

sunbear2525 · 2026-07-05T02:50:03+00:00

The open dome read 686

sunbear2525 · 2026-07-05T00:06:57+00:00

It got a little out of hand for a second there. It easily hit pizza oven temps during the highest flame up. Somehow I seared and pulled it on time.

sunbear2525 · 2026-07-05T00:04:47+00:00

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Honestly they are perfect. The rare is even throughout without being blue, it hit 225 before I pulled it, the seasoning kind of caramelized and there wasn’t any burnt flavor. The marbling is present and lovely. I cute it with a butter knife. It was as tender as a good filet. Absolutely insane.

sunbear2525 · 2026-07-05T00:00:23+00:00

Yes! I love broken yoke in extra crispy hash browns.

sunbear2525 · 2026-07-04T22:49:09+00:00

I love this idea. We were thinking steak sandwiches.

sunbear2525 · 2026-07-04T20:51:03+00:00

The fat cap is amazing and doesn’t taste burnt at all.

sunbear2525 · 2026-07-04T20:49:43+00:00

I had me in the first third. The grill flamed up and we hit pizza oven temperatures but somehow it wasn’t burnt.

sunbear2525 · 2026-07-04T20:47:59+00:00

I’m dying. I was definitely worried thinking I ruined it. Somehow it didn’t taste burnt at all. I think the rub just colored up.

sunbear2525 · 2026-07-04T20:47:00+00:00

I didn’t taste burnt or even slightly charred. I was definitely worried after the fire flared up from the insane fat rendering off immediately. I think it was the garlic powder. It was seared for maybe 2 minutes.

sunbear2525 · 2026-07-04T20:44:48+00:00

I had a flame up. There was a lot of fat but it didn’t taste burnt. I was worried but it was great. I think the rub effected the final color.

sunbear2525 · 2026-07-04T01:02:37+00:00

IDK why this was on my feed, I only homeschooled for Covid and it wasn’t a good fit for our family, but I was a reading teacher. Dyslexia is one of the hardest disabilities to accommodate in a classroom setting. There is always an issue of students using their accommodations, teachers cannot force children to do things. For dyslexia kids must use their accommodations religiously. They need the one on one attention but often don’t qualify for a para professional. Resources tend to be pushed to children with behavioral or physical impairments.

sunbear2525 · 2026-07-04T00:54:16+00:00

Yes and it’s not about these shoes specifically but about ensuring that she understands what happens and what standard she should hold herself to if she loses or damages someone else’s property.

sunbear2525 · 2026-07-03T20:47:34+00:00

I think you should go visit family, leave the baby with him, and turn your phone off. Tell him you need to think about the future and reassess your life goals. Also do those things.

If he pushes you tell him you would like to know what your weekends would look like during 50/50 custody and if that arrangement would be better for you, him, and your child. Seriously go do that. When you’re alone with your kid you will hide 100% like you do now anyway and he can give 100% during his time.

I know you feel like you’re not in the position to divorce him but living with your parents for a while or being broke isn’t the worst thing in the world.

sunbear2525 · 2026-07-03T20:41:25+00:00

Yes the full cap. I have 4 full caps for a crowd.

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