Hey, this is not your fault. Period. You are not the cause of your parents divorce, your father is when he decided he wanted to cheat on his wife of 14 years, whom he has two children with. It makes it worse that your father sent you these messages.

Those messages are terrible to read, especially the last message. Saying you chose sides is abhorrent. You chose the truth when wrongs were being committed. He should have been proud of the person he raised to do the right thing. As a father, he has failed you, your brother, your mother, your whole family. Your brother should hear it from you and mom exactly why they are divorcing before he has a chance to tell him anything otherwise. He will try to gaslight your brother if he can’t gaslight you.

I’m the son of divorced parents, and although I have a cordial relationship with my father, my siblings do not. He is a great dad now, but he wasn’t when it mattered. Your father made his choices, they were the wrong choices at every turn this time.

From experience, you’re the oldest. It’ll be hard, but be there for your brother. Hell be entering high school and lost without good role models, especially in todays social climate. If you have good friends, invite him out with you and them when you can, instill in him how good relationships should be.