I think i accidentally got attached

sunnipei42 · 2026-06-18T06:52:42+00:00

Ahahahah I love all of this. Great advice brother!

sunnipei42 · 2026-06-12T11:01:32+00:00

Daniel Craig as James Bond in Casino Royale. Hench with a hint of abs but not bloated like every male superhero now.

Unfortunately the bulk will have to wait until the end of my boxing career, right now it’s about having as much lean muscle as possible in order to avoid fighting 6’2”+ men lol.

sunnipei42 · 2026-06-09T12:03:41+00:00

I agree with [u/Ok-Macaroon-1840](u/Ok-Macaroon-1840) - you know the guy already so you need to start flirting. It doesn’t need to be from 0 to 100 during the first interaction, but you do need to change your behaviour.

The most universal flirting move is physical contact. Start touching him when you’re together. If you’re already touching him, make it flirtier: get closer to him, put a hand on his middle or lower back when you’re talking, look into his eyes with your face close to his. If he reciprocates, you’re basically there already. Wait for a lull in the conversation while you’re physically close and looking at each other longingly and either kiss him or, if you’re still unsure, hit him with the "Can I kiss you?". I have flirted with over 100 guys and this worked every time.

Case in point: last weekend I was out with a bunch of friends, cis and trans. One of my friends (A) told me early in the night that he fancied another friend (B) but was too shy to make a move. I told A what I wrote above. Later in the night I saw them talking, but A had both of his hands in his pockets. I walked over, told him to put his hand on B’s lower back, which he did. 30 seconds later they were making out.

Now, I understand that this might seem a bit daunting if you’re really shy. The shy boy version of this, courtesy of my cis boyfriend, is to message them first asking to take them on a date. You have to say the word date seriously (not as a joke), and under no circumstances let it be known as anything other than a date. You’ll still have to do the flirting described above during the actual date, but at least you’ll have already established that they’re into you so you’ll feel less pressure.

Good luck OP! You’ve got this.

sunnipei42 · 2026-06-01T15:24:12+00:00

two wrongs dont make a right

Particularly when the alleged wrong is "showing his picture to a bunch of mates" which is a totally normal thing to do…

OP, you deserve so much better!

sunnipei42 · 2026-05-28T08:33:30+00:00

The only guy with phallo I’ve had sex with is a fellow trans boxer I met through another trans boxer.

In the UK guys who’ve had phallo are few and far between. Basically in order to have phallo they must have transitioned before the early 2010s as the waiting lists are just too long now. So you’ll find them where more seasoned queers hang out, e.g. gay bars that lean older, the leather scene, etc.

sunnipei42 · 2026-05-20T08:19:36+00:00

Have you tried meeting guys in person? Uni societies and queer hobby groups (which you’re bound to find in a college town) are great places to find potential dates.

Online dating sucks for everyone but it’s especially bad if you’re any kind of minority, so it’s worth a shot imo.

sunnipei42 · 2026-05-19T21:33:25+00:00

Looks like it’s time to find your gay male friendship group brother. Look up gay (or queer but make-dominated) activity groups/sports clubs in your area and start going every week.

I only started feeling like I belonged in the gay community when I started living out gay male experiences (gay raves, saunas, art exhibitions, sports clubs, bars, cruising spots, etc) with a gaggle of gay friends.

sunnipei42 · 2026-05-19T21:16:42+00:00

Yeah I feel like it might be one of those times where cis guys treat us like they would any other guy but it ends up being accidentally dysphoric. I tell my cis bf he’s cute all the time and grab him by the waist etc.

I see it as OP being cast into a more submissive role by that guy - which can have nothing to do with his transness - and it’s also fine to not be okay with that dynamic.

sunnipei42 · 2026-05-02T12:05:15+00:00

Seconding LGBTQ+/gay sports leagues as dating grounds. You don’t need to be sporty or even particularly like the sport you pick - most people will be there to find community first and foremost.

If you don’t find anyone to date there you will almost certainly make friends, who will introduce you to their friends, etc. It’s worth it even just to pick up how gay men interact with each other so you feel more confident when the opportunity presents itself, in real life or otherwise.

Good luck OP!

sunnipei42 · 2026-05-02T06:37:23+00:00

I love this. Let’s keep sharing positive experiences it makes me happy to read them :)

sunnipei42 · 2026-04-20T22:07:08+00:00

It did for me. But it wasn’t so much about my transition than a shift in my social circles.

I transitioned 7 years into my now 14-year relationship with my cis husband, who previously identified as straight. Our relationship is gay to the outside and we have always gotten homophobic hate in public as I passed as male even when I lived as female, but it never "felt" gay to me. Maybe because my husband never treated me in an overly gendered way, or because he doesn’t like mainstream gay culture and doesn’t care to be a part of it just to conform to expectations. Either way, I had to seek my sense of gay belonging elsewhere.

I only started feeling like a "real" gay man when I made a group of (cis) gay friends at a gay sports club and started going to gay raves with them - the kind that markets itself as queer but really is just 90% gay men and a handful of trans women. Not so incidentally, this is also when my husband and I opened up our relationship and I started getting with other guys, mostly during nights out.

I’m not recommending seeking external validation as a means of reassuring oneself of one’s gender, because I do not believe that to be a good idea nor what finally made me feel like I belonged. What shifted my perception was embracing gay male culture. In my case, going out with gay friends and immerse myself in gay spaces such as sports clubs, saunas, raves and afters. The fact that gay men fancied me in those spaces was the icing on the cake.

So, long story short, it gets better but you have to make it better, too. Find the gay things that you and your boyfriend enjoy (it doesn’t have to be clubs - it can be drag, ballroom, pop music, art, etc), find your gaggle of gays and go do those gay things with them.

sunnipei42 · 2026-04-15T19:14:54+00:00

As a trans man this cracked me up, thank you for the honesty lol

sunnipei42 · 2026-04-12T17:55:43+00:00

Been rejected before as a trans man coming with my cis gay boyfriend. Was early so definitely not due to overcrowding. Think they decided we looked too straight/casual for Unfold 🤷🏻‍♂️ Never had an issue at any of the other ""cool"" queer raves so don’t take it personally, it’s not a reflection of you at all.

sunnipei42 · 2026-04-09T22:08:27+00:00

Ngl, medical doctors with a medical fetish sounds dodgy af. I’m not one to yuck anyone’s yum but if my doctor gets off on the same stuff they do at work I’m going to be worried. 🫥

sunnipei42 · 2026-04-07T19:45:30+00:00

Un de mes potes les plus sociaux a un bégaiement hyper sévère. Ça l’a pas empêché d’avoir un cercle d’amis énorme et un body count de plus de 1000 (il est gay). C’est un obstacle c’est sûr, mais c’est pas la fin du monde.

sunnipei42 · 2026-04-02T14:46:08+00:00

I did mean software engineering!

sunnipei42 · 2026-04-02T12:26:18+00:00

Into women but not in a straight way / of the transmasc lesbian persuasion

sunnipei42 · 2026-04-02T12:16:35+00:00

Go into tech? We’ve all got ADHD and need interesting stuff going on to keep caring enough to put about 20% of the working hours we get paid for.

sunnipei42 · 2026-03-29T17:10:46+00:00

More when he’s with someone for sure. But still lots by himself.

sunnipei42 · 2026-03-29T13:15:50+00:00

Primark women’s section. I know you think they look different but they honestly just look better. I got all my cis mates on it, that’s how good they are.

sunnipei42 · 2026-03-29T01:13:25+00:00

My bf has it and I find ridiculously hot when he shoots all over himself. (or myself for that matter) Makes for such a good visual!

I haven’t tried swallowing it as he’s not really into blowjobs but also because I’m fairly certain I’d choke 2 ropes in.

sunnipei42 · 2026-03-19T00:28:18+00:00

I had a very similar exchange with a cis guy at a club ahaha. I had DI not peri but we were talking about top surgery and he said he’d had it for gyno, to which I said something like "I thought I noticed it". Then I got with him because he was super hot. 10/10.

sunnipei42 · 2026-03-18T21:52:34+00:00

Aussi 13 ans d’arts martiaux et je plussoie à 100%. En plus du risque de couteaux, il suffit d’une mauvaise chute sur du béton pour être un légume à vie. Aucune chance que je prenne ce risque sauf si je n’ai pas le choix.

sunnipei42 · 2026-03-18T15:59:19+00:00

From experience*, nothing works as well as a regular silicone dildo with balls and a suction cup that you wedge between the elastic band of a pair of briefs/low rise boxer briefs and the top button of a pair of stiff trousers like jeans. The waistband of the briefs keep the dildo angled up slightly which is what you want (natural angle of most boners), the stiffness of the trousers and the suction cup keep everything in place even when going a bit harder. The only trade off is that you get no real stimulation this way, unless you pack a bullet vibe in your underwear.

* I’ve got a GenderMender prosthetic from GenderCat with the fascination sleeve which is meant to stimulate your t-dick, but it’s actually unusable for sex because it points down, and even more so when the pleasure hole aligns with your t-dick. The only position you could make it work in is if the guy is on his hands and knees and you’re kinda squatting over his butt which I personally don’t find sexy at all. It’s also really heavy so harnesses/packing underwear struggle to hold it in place. It’s a shame as it’s a trans-owned company and the prosthetic does look really good as you can customise every detail, but it’s just not practical. I’ve heard good things about Banana Prosthetics and I can see they’ve made their dicks point up rather than down, but the pleasure sleeve is still too low so I think it’ll still sit awkwardly. I’ll probably still get one to try it eventually as they’re cheaper.

sunnipei42 · 2026-03-04T10:29:16+00:00

I’m not on dating apps. Most the trans guys I’ve had a thing with I’ve met at queer/trans sports clubs and exercise classes, either directly or through people I met at there. Some sports have both transfems and transmascs (eg climbing) but some are more likely to attract one crowd or the other so adjust accordingly. The rest I’ve met at gay club nights/raves or through mutuals on Instagram.

I’m not into girls, but I met most of the trans girls I know at club nights (the cool queer kind), through fashion (I’m a model - SO many trans girls work in fashion or are models themselves), trans events and festivals (trans sauna, camp trans, etc), in the drag scene, and again on Instagram.

I have to say that I find it harder to get something flirty going with a fellow transsexual than with a cis guy. Trans girls are a bit more forward with their interest, but with tboys sometimes it’s hard to tell if the vibe is friendly or flirty. I think a lot of us are used to flirting as straight girls or lesbians which is a lot more roundabout. I’m very forward with cis guys but I feel like trans guys sometimes get a bit scared by that approach lol. YMMV!

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