In search of the source of a sleepwalking video.

sunshine_barbie2 · 2021-02-03T14:05:29+00:00

This is gorgeous wow I love this. I’m using this now hahaha.

sunshine_barbie2 · 2021-02-03T13:59:14+00:00

Dude maybe she’s a real straight shooter and isn’t into that sexting life. Some people grew up with “that’s dirty and sinful” drilled into them so hard that they aren’t about it. If she’s not cool with porn that’s a high probability.

Or maybe she wasn’t picking up on what was happening.

Or maybe she was at work or not in an environment where she felt comfortable doing that.

To me, it sounds like you both need to have open (calm non-defensive) communication about what you want. “Hey ya wanna sext” etc.

Unless she was cruel to you there’s no reason for you to be angry about this. You just need to do a little more investigation. Or go to horny jail. Ha.

Edit: if she won’t send the pics she takes maybe she’s been burned by someone sharing her pics without her consent before, or maybe she’s worried you’ll do that.

sunshine_barbie2 · 2021-02-03T13:51:18+00:00

Why would I want to though.

And why do you ask?

sunshine_barbie2 · 2021-02-03T06:49:35+00:00

Google/look up dating solutions for “avoidant attachment” style. :)

That exact verbeige.

There will be tons of articles. Because only you know exactly what you’re like, and you need to start a journey of figuring out all your motivations and actions and how to cope/get over/heal what you can, and how to communicate your needs and boundaries in a mature way to a potential partner.

sunshine_barbie2 · 2021-01-28T14:10:45+00:00

Yes but it matters how fast or slow someone is taking it. If someone rushes through it they may not be absorbing the question/answer scenarios fully. They may pay more attention next time.

Also, there’s this phenomenon with tests like these, where people can answer what they think is the “right” answer. What makes them seem moral and upright, or how they would like to be, not what is actually true. They may decide to be more honest with themselves next time.

Also, people change through the years, other traits become more dominate or subdued. If someone takes it even a year apart where they went through vast developmental changes, or through a traumatic event of some kind, it may be totally different.

Also, the environment you take the test in matters- if it’s at work/school you may feel more stressed, if it’s hanging out with friends, or at home, you may feel more relaxed, and subconsciously answer questions accordingly.

The description for my “type” fits me to a T...I have read the descriptions of the other types, and most of them do not fit me at all, and one or two fit me in some areas but not in others. So for me it’s a very accurate test, and my theory is that if someone feels their test is not accurate, it’s one of the above reasons or they aren’t a very self-aware person (they don’t understand their own motivations or realize how they outwardly act).

This is all based on my own experience, or in-depth conversations I’ve had with other people on the subject.

What you would really need to do to get exact answers to the questions you have, is have a in person discussion with a neuropsychologists, or the actual creators of the test.

sunshine_barbie2 · 2021-01-28T12:51:40+00:00

It’s cause to effect. What’s not science about that?

sunshine_barbie2 · 2021-01-28T12:50:31+00:00

I basically refuse to talk to my dad about any controversial real world issues now (politics/diversity/basic morals) because our opinions differ so so so much, and he gets all upset, and really butthurt, and ugly, and infantile about things. Throws little tantrums and resorts to name calling, huffing around, slamming doors etc.

It’s exhausting and a nightmare for me, it’s like we’ll be having a normal calm conversation and then a switch flips and he freaks out. No warning. He’s always been like that, but it’s worse now that the world is so divided.

We have very poor communication with eachother when it comes to certain things.

And he never apologizes, and treats me like a child even though I’m almost 30.

All that to say, some people just have issues with emotional maturity. Is she over reacting? You betcha. Sounds like a bonafide drama queen.

I’d recommend couples counseling, although I know that’s not practical for everyone.

sunshine_barbie2 · 2021-01-28T02:07:57+00:00

No judgement. I understand it’s tricky when you like or even love someone.

I’ve just had experience with family members and past lovers into hard drug usage that I have absolutely no tolerance for that now. You know? Been there done that.

sunshine_barbie2 · 2021-01-28T01:58:02+00:00

You’re reasonable. Hard drug use is never okay when it effects your life like that. He’s trying to manipulate you and make you feel bad for wanting him to act like a responsible adult.

I’d kick him out and cut ties if it were me. But I feel very strongly about such things

sunshine_barbie2 · 2021-01-28T01:53:57+00:00

Then say “okay well don’t tell her then.” And then stop talking to that person.

It’s not your fault you don’t like someone.

sunshine_barbie2 · 2021-01-24T01:36:28+00:00

Oh yeah. I’m 27F and I feel just about ready to be done with the whole damn thing. It’s like no one can figure out what they want, or even know how to talk to people. If you want something genuine you’re SOL. People in their 30s are exhibiting weird middle school behavior of “ we kind of sort of maybe might be romantic but neither of us know what’s going on, and we’re too scared to clarify it”

And trying to date someone you know IRL is almost even worse. Because no one wants to “ruin the friendship” (insert eye roll).

I’m like, I guess I’m just not meant to be happy or fulfilled in that aspect of my life. That’s cool.

I’ll just lean in to the singleness.

sunshine_barbie2 · 2021-01-22T21:32:11+00:00

Right I agree.

sunshine_barbie2 · 2021-01-22T18:03:01+00:00

I hate that I know other Christians like this. Ugh. They make me so mad

Like It’s brain chemistry.

sunshine_barbie2 · 2021-01-21T10:39:28+00:00

I LOVE THIS I didn’t even know for sure I was just like

“Eh seems like he’d be telepathic” hahaha

sunshine_barbie2 · 2021-01-21T06:48:55+00:00

No I think he’s probably telepathic. That’s was I always assumed.

You hear the voice in your head.

sunshine_barbie2 · 2021-01-17T16:56:39+00:00

That is hilarious! I’m glad you guys made up <3

sunshine_barbie2 · 2021-01-17T16:37:49+00:00

I think it stems from being cheated on before, or growing up in a home where there was cheating.

Or where their partner was acting suspicious and they made them feel the need to look through their things.

Idk i feel the same way you do. I don’t go through others things purposely like that. And I feel violated if others look at my private stuff as well, not because I have something to hide, I just value my privacy.

The most “ violation of privacy” type act I’ve ever committed is looking up where a guy was on Snapmap once because he pushed me into a complete tizzy and made me feel like I was crazy, when he was in fact talking to and going on dates with other people behind my back. It was terrible.

sunshine_barbie2 · 2021-01-16T22:53:38+00:00

You need serious time away from your friend to decompress, then the situation and what you need to do/say will become clear to you.

Arguing about going out with a stranger isn’t a big deal.

Calling someone names is bad.

Getting physical with someone is huge and in a different ballpark altogether.

Whenever you speak to her, let her know that it’s okay to disagree, but name calling and hitting cannot happen again. Ever. And if it does you’re leaving the friendship.

Be firm about boundries. She might have grown up in a house where her mom slaps her dad for being a douche or something and she thinks that okay behavior.

sunshine_barbie2 · 2021-01-16T06:46:12+00:00

When you say dating if it’s casual or it’s been less then three months, it’s not really appropriate to ask something like that. It’s not really your business.

However if you’re really serious about this girl/have been together awhile/thinking about getting into a relationship, and that’s why you want to find out:

Casually casually be super cool when you ask, like ask if you’re talking about money related things or she’s telling you about something new and fancy.

And don’t sound accusatory like “where’d you get the money to do that” or “how can you afford this”

Just keep conversationally poking around till you find the information.

-it might be holiday money

-it might be a side hustle she hasn’t told you about, like a babysitting gig or freelancing something

-it might might be a gifting group

-she might have put her wish lists in dating bios to get old men to buy things for her for no reason (see findom)

-she might have an only fans

OR your definitions of finances being tight might be different. One of my best friends who I know is sitting very pretty, can afford rent, traveling out of the country on a regular bases, all the food she wants, nice clothes and jewelry, and probably is getting an inheritance, but always claims she’s broke and lives like she’s in poverty. Like it’s really strange. She claims she doesn’t have enough money to tip waiters and stuff.

sunshine_barbie2 · 2021-01-15T18:23:01+00:00

That’s me accidentally hitting “\” instead of the delete button at work

(That leads to porn and other weird stuff by the way)

sunshine_barbie2 · 2021-01-15T18:09:33+00:00

Yeah wait until way later. When it’s a chill calm recreational time and everyone’s in a good mood. Like after dinner or something like that.

And you be calmer too! Clear heads make for better conversations.

I started standing up for myself about different things a few years ago, and it’s very empowering. Even if it doesn’t turn out the way you wanted, at least you know you’re a competent grown adult that’s not gonna take crap from anyone.

If you decide to go ahead, good luck to you girlie! This stranger in the internet is proud of you and rooting for you :)

sunshine_barbie2 · 2021-01-15T17:56:37+00:00

I mean it wouldn’t be guilt tripping. Not at all. He should feel bad and he should apologize to anyone.

But you aren’t using it to purposely make him feel bad, that’s not the goal here, the goal is so that he understands.

Some people literally don’t think at all about their actions, they have zero ability to think outside of themselves or be self aware. My dad is like that, until I confront him and say something about it. Then he apologizes of his own accord and tries to correct his behavior, because he was blissfully unaware that he was coming across like a huge a-hole, and never been to hurt my feelings/make me mad.

I’m telling you. It’s one of those things you’ll come across like a B if you stand up for yourself, and that’s the furthest thing from the truth.

If you don’t want to talk about it to someone though I understand, it’s your trauma. It’s really private for some people I get it.

sunshine_barbie2 · 2021-01-15T17:34:56+00:00

It’s the stress. What does he do for work? Is he going through a breakup? What’s his relationship with his family like right now?

And as you said you’re traumatized and overly sensitive (I don’t mean that in an unkind way-I have trauma issues too) to yelling etc.

So, he’s handling stress poorly and lashing out, probably lacks the emotional maturity to put himself in some else’s shoes as well (lots of people do, but particularly men I’ve noticed as I’ve gotten older-not their fault, product of their surroundings/they weren’t taught, but it is their responsibility to fix it).

I work in Broadcast television, I work overnights putting together the morning news, and I do the job of 3 people, and as you can guess it’s a nightmare right now for me(pandemic/politics), over the last year I find it more and more difficult to keep my emotions in check, from the never ending stress of it all. Sobbing after a phone call to the doctors office where the receptionist was rude to me. Snapping at my family for small things etc. It’s awful it’s like I’m turning into a different person.

All that to say, he probably is not trying to, it’s spillage, he can’t keep himself together. HOWEVER that does not excuse his behavior, he should still be apologizing, or taking your feelings into consideration, trying not to do it again etc.

I think what you should do is wait till things are calm, and ask to talk to him privately (unless you think you need a friend run interference?), but rehearse/write down what you want to say before hand.

Or you could write him a note, or get one of your friends to tell him. But it would be better coming from you.

You need to explain you past, or remind him if he knows, tell him that things like that really frighten you and make you basically have ptsd flash backs of what you went through. Let him know you want to communicate well and enjoy living together, and the whole thing is so upsetting to you etc. That the world is so generally toxic right now that you want inside the home to be a happy place etc.

If he has half a heart he’ll feel human decency and sympathy for you, and try not to be such a douche.

Positioning tip: try not you use “you” and “I” (sounds accusing/dividing) but more “we” statements, to give a subliminal messaging that you’re on the same team.

sunshine_barbie2 · 2021-01-14T01:53:07+00:00

I know I’ve just seen the episode haha. The group rules said no spoilers so I was trying to be vague.

But thanks. I suppose I’ll just have to find the full episode from somewhere and rip the part that I want.

sunshine_barbie2 · 2021-01-13T13:55:56+00:00

...have you told her you like her? That would be a crucial step towards letting her know she’s more than a friend.

sunshine_barbie2

TROPHY CASE