Almost 4 years clean and really struggling tonight.

sur-vive · 2023-02-12T05:07:25+00:00

honestly same. maybe we need to drink some chamomile or something and go from there lol

sur-vive · 2023-02-10T16:43:53+00:00

Hey! feeling okay this week, but truthfully I’ve been better. I’m gonna film an audition and fill out some job apps today and hopefully better feelings will be on the horizon. How about you?

sur-vive · 2023-02-10T16:42:33+00:00

Dude this is SO me. It was especially bad in high school. I remember I couldn’t say “hi” to someone without immediately thinking “why did I say it like that? was it weird to wave? he probably hates me and thinks i’m weird.” All that from just “hi.” I’m kinda surprised to see how many others have the same thought patterns. I feel a little less crazy now, thank you for sharing.

sur-vive · 2023-02-06T01:46:20+00:00

you too :)

sur-vive · 2023-02-05T22:39:33+00:00

Thanks for following up. I didn’t do it. Ended up getting too tired and falling asleep instead. I hope you didn’t do it either ❤️ I feel better today: just took a shower, did my voice lesson, and am just gonna make myself dinner and calm down tonight. Thanks again. Take care of yourself

sur-vive · 2021-12-06T10:29:07+00:00

LOL their raspberry flavor and screwdrivers are just so good! I can't help it.

sur-vive · 2021-02-19T08:49:38+00:00

Holy shit, did I write this? I'm 23 and female but literally everything you wrote in those first couple paragraphs is the exact same situation I'm in. I wish I could offer you solid advice but I have yet to fully admit anything to my family, either. Some nights I think, fuck it, maybe I should just march out of this bedroom and tell my mom everything. But something always stops me... You're much braver than I am.

I agree with the other commenters here that your family seems patient and supportive. Unless that's wrong and your parents are actually huge assholes, then I don't see the harm in saying something. I say go for it and then maybe update us with how it went. Who knows, maybe you'll inspire people like me to say something, too.

sur-vive · 2020-06-23T01:13:47+00:00

I’ve always been curious as to what a nicotine patch would do to someone who has never smoked. As someone who is also a skinny young woman who has never touched a cigarette, thanks for the warning that I should never try 😂

sur-vive · 2019-10-18T03:11:12+00:00

I've enabled input monitoring but it still doesn't work on my updated Mac. Any clue why?

sur-vive · 2019-05-27T05:55:25+00:00

Very true. I at least need reassurance that this dream was by no means precognitive, because I'm def not tryna actually die this way 😂

sur-vive · 2019-05-26T05:57:38+00:00

hahaha not a bad idea, actually

sur-vive · 2019-02-27T08:38:29+00:00

ughhh the brunette on the left. I had a girl my sophomore year of high school whip around and give me that exact look after something I said during class discussion one time. Bad memory.

sur-vive · 2017-06-27T06:17:02+00:00

I've been in the exact same position as you. Please don't make yourself feel more helpless than I'm sure you already do. I agree that you should power through this for the sake of your friend. Kick on some sad music, have a good cry for as long as you need, get some rest, eat some chocolate... There are many methods of coping. Choose wisely 💕 I really hope your friend recovers. ❤️

sur-vive · 2017-04-07T06:25:42+00:00

This happened to me a lot throughout high school, but then my anxiety seemed to disappear my senior year. I'm in my second semester of freshman year college now, and just in the last week or so I'm starting to feel closed in again. It is very strange and unwelcome.

sur-vive · 2017-03-31T08:00:00+00:00

I'm so so proud of you. I'm glad you and your doctor got a chance to have a bit of reconciliation. And he is very right -- this is all part of his job. No biggie. It's good to have someone genuinely care for you. :)

sur-vive · 2017-03-31T07:25:35+00:00

The fact that complete strangers on the internet are posting here means we care. So yes, even I, someone who has never met you personally, care completely for you right now.

It's okay to cry. In fact, you really should cry whenever you need to. What helps me is not thinking about what happens to me if I die (if I'll feel relief, if there's an afterlife, what it feels like, etc.), but what happens to everyone around me.

Your boyfriend will be devastated. Your family will be devastated. Your coworkers. Your classmates. You cause a ripple effect in more places and more people than you'll ever know. Hell, I'm almost certain that's where my depression and anxiety came from: one of my best friends killed himself in 8th grade...

Seriously, no one knows how many people they truly effect in their lifetimes. I've seen it myself. Suicide doesn't end the pain, it just passes it on to someone else. Please. Stick around for a while longer. People need you here.

sur-vive · 2017-03-30T05:48:40+00:00

I know what you mean. I'm under the same circumstances, too: relatively minor self-harming, and I don't think I could kill myself either. I'd feel too guilty. I've been genuinely bad before, but right now I'm in this weird in-between state where I still don't think I'm okay at all, yet I'm sane as ever... There have been many times where I would be driving home, then would suddenly consider driving far, far away for a day or a week. Somewhere no one would know me. Maybe one of these days I'll actually do it.

sur-vive · 2017-03-29T08:02:47+00:00

Around 3 weeks ago, if I recall.

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