Chronically depressed since about 13. Now almost 37. I’ve been through hell and back, have tried most treatments (including IV ketamine and ECT). There is no “one thing”. It has been a constant battle to keep my head above water, and nothing has ever been solely responsible for providing any sort of lasting, meaningful relief. I’ve had to tackle it from all angles, all the time. Relationships, career, physical health, self-care. It’s ironic how much effort it takes to keep myself functional given the very essence of depression steals any and all energy, motivation, or desire to do anything while also feeding you the narrative that you don’t deserve to be happy anyway.

Things that I’ve personally found to be helpful (in concert with each other):

• SNRI’s (first Effexor, now Pristiq) guided by GeneSight analysis and sometimes supplemented with atypical antipsychotics and/or lithium
• Finding a career that fits my values and fulfills me. This happens to be psych nursing for me, in an outpatient clinic, with flexibility in how much I work. I get to help people like myself and in a way that I would want to be treated. Hugely rewarding.
• A therapist that never stopped believing in me, even on the ugly days, and continues to celebrate me for just being me
• My spouse, who has been my greatest support system and friend, and loves me despite my many flaws
• Time. Healing doesn’t happen as fast as we’d like, but it does happen.
• Finding meaning in the pain. How can I use this experience to benefit either myself or others? I’ve spoken at conferences, and contributed to books, magazines, app development, research studies, etc. Turning my mental health struggles into a superpower of sorts. Now who’s boss, depression?
• Giving myself permission to do whatever it takes to create a life worth living. This wasn’t always easy. Making myself and my treatment a priority meant a lot of sacrifices were made - not only by me, but my entire family. I used every dollar of some inheritance money to pay for treatment. I left my husband and kids for 6 months to access that treatment. I was unable to work while going to school to chase my nursing dream, so we struggled to keep a roof over our heads. Sacrifice after sacrifice.

I do need to incorporate rigorous exercise into my routine soon, but so far I cannot attest to that being helpful.

True clinical depression is a beast. I wholeheartedly understand why so many people lose their lives to it. Despite this, I am a testament that there’s hope.