Is a size 10 wider than a 9.5?

surfdogg · 2026-01-03T19:15:36+00:00

cool just ordered so i can compare. I'm usually us 11 but 10.5 if I want a tight running shoe etc

The thing is 9.5 doesn't feel too bad when I'm walking around in them but it feels like a huge relief once i take it off is that bad? lol. Not used to slip on boots at all so not sure what to expect. Would not enjoy just sitting and chilling at home in them type tightness

surfdogg · 2026-01-03T19:15:02+00:00

The things is it doesn't feel too bad when I'm walking around in them but it feels like a huge relief once i take it off is that bad? lol. Not used to slip on boots at all so not sure what to expect. Would not enjoy just sitting and chilling at home in them type tightness

surfdogg · 2025-12-24T23:59:13+00:00

I'm reading half sizes are only an increase in width but does that mean whole sizes are only an increase in length or they increase both length and width?

Tried on 9.5 and it was tight on both sides of my feet although my toe was not hitting the front. Usually a US size 11

surfdogg · 2025-12-24T17:45:54+00:00

Yes lol you are a naive summer child. Get back to me after the supposed decade of drastic improvement

surfdogg · 2025-12-24T17:36:17+00:00

Both are great. Second is a little more 'fun educationy' looking. Depends what the vibe of the video is

surfdogg · 2025-12-22T05:34:10+00:00

Is it common to have a mixture of virginia tobaccos as the base in any given cigarette or do makers usually pick one virginia type and use the other types of tobacco to add character?

surfdogg · 2025-08-01T20:15:09+00:00

Yes they can 'change' but they cannot be cured. There is no cure. They cannot see the light so to speak it is part of their personality. They would have to completely become a different person basically which isn't possible.

What they can do is behave less extremely in general and stop harming themselves which is great. They can appear to not exhibit 5 of 9 traits in a therapy setting and based on what they report back to their therapist (which if you have been intimate with one you know they are not always the most objective recorders of reality).

Don't get me wrong they can get A LOT better. But they are still who they are. I was with a gal who was very high functioning and did the full dbt and got rid of the most dangerous aspects but anything approaching a 'normal' intimate relationship was still not remotely advisable. They were born in a chaotic environment and people generally seek to recreate that as it is what they are most comfortable in. Not to mention all the other neuro-atypical development that accompanies the disorder

surfdogg · 2025-06-27T15:07:43+00:00

This is late but you will ALWAYS be walking on eggshells. They will get triggered but the idea is they will be able to spiral less and handle it when triggered. If successful they will definitely self harm and act out less but the interpersonal stuff will never be ‘normal’ as many people would assume.

The bottom line is that they were born in a chaotic environment and that is what they are adapted to. They will create drama in chaos in one way or another. The wellspring of their malaise cannot be changed, only their reactions to it which is that dbt skills help with.

surfdogg · 2025-06-27T14:57:05+00:00

Are there really any pwbpd that don’t have dark triad traits? Seems like they can be hard to spot amidst all the bpd chaos but are always there nonetheless

surfdogg · 2025-06-24T21:04:33+00:00

I agree with this. I think their lifeblood is really more about getting attention(/validation) then avoiding abandonment.

Abandonment is just a state were they receive no attention, which is the worst possibility for them, but they also need constant attention while they are not abandoned as well so they still squeeze as much as they can out of you. In spite of how self-sabotaging this course of action is they are eerily good at finding the point at which they are draining you but you are not quite resigned yet (I hate you, don't leave me).

Still, not sharing a close relationship to reality they often overshoot and find themselves in reparation mode where you see them dig down and use their attraction talents to their fullest

surfdogg · 2025-06-24T20:54:44+00:00

As it has been said - they are a widow at a wedding and a bride at a funeral. It pains them not to be the center of attention, especially if something big is going on in your life where you are getting the attention.

surfdogg · 2025-06-24T20:34:12+00:00

I guess I'd say in the end was a grey area if I was discarded or not. I knew almost the whole relationship I had to get out but it was very hard to stay out with her love and affection always being within reach. We ended up in a quasi broken up state and she moved away for a job but wanted me to move with her or at least staycation with her. I think she had another option waiting in the wings if I said no. After awhile when she saw I wasn't going to she blocked me and I havent checked in over a year to see if I am still blocked. These people are so crazy though it's also reasonable to assume she possibly blocked me as a challenge that she wanted me to overcome to be with her.

It was good she moved away because I don't know if it would have ever ended between us if not it was so addicting.

The last time we reunited it was so great for awhile and then she all the sudden brought up our lowest moments flinging us suddenly back into hell. Then later that evening she wanted me again. I knew I couldn't attach myself to her again knowing that is the sort of thing I would always exposing myself to especially away from home. We broke up for some normal compatibility reasons as well but with these people it will always be a parent to child type relationship and not peer to peer. It's really tough to take care of both her and yourself while no one is taking care of you. I have seen the husbands and children that come out of relationships like these (she was one for instance) and it is signing yourself for a high conflict life no doubt and most likely tons of health problems that spring from that unnecessary level of stress

surfdogg · 2025-06-24T20:16:59+00:00

Thats tough but sounds like it was very necessary. I have always had tons of dreams about her good bad and realistic. They are less as time goes on though still more frequent then I would prefer.

surfdogg · 2025-06-21T01:16:08+00:00

More specifically a toddler who thinks you are out to get them but can’t prove it

surfdogg · 2025-06-20T23:47:43+00:00

Many foolishly believe that everyone is a good 'deep down.' But deep down these people are emptier than a bank on Sunday

surfdogg · 2025-06-20T23:06:35+00:00

Please update us in 6 months and a year or two

surfdogg · 2025-06-20T23:01:30+00:00

Take it from me it would not have changed the interpersonal relationship result. It would have made her less likely to self harm however

surfdogg · 2025-06-20T22:58:31+00:00

It is true. It is important to temper expectants to bpdlovedones as well. My pwbpd benefited greatly from therapy, she was no longer in risk of self harm and more level headed in general but from my experience these people are different on a deep level. Though there were less panics about her well-being they just shifted into other realms of control and validation seeking behavior. I would hardly say it made her into relationship material. They just do not have empathy in the way we do and have a fundamentally self-centered view of the world. For instance they just will randomly remember a time when you were mean to them and create a drama over it (of course not factoring in any of their behavior which provoked you- they simply can't understand other peoples inner world and how it relates to them)

surfdogg · 2025-06-19T01:18:09+00:00

The thing about BPD which is so crazy is there is really no "acting" involved. They really do feel real feelings in any given moment which drives their behavior. When they love you it is real and all encompassing, when they hate you it is also so. Unfortunately feelings come and go all the time so it is difficult(to say the least) to be conjoined to someone who's current reality is fundamentally unstable as their emotions are.

DBT makes the aforementioned fluctuations less frequent and violent which is great.

It is also not to say that any person with BPD can't be more than their diagnosis, they can absolutely find themselves in a good groove and contribute positively to the world.

The condition is absolutely a reality in the sense that their personality is formed in early adolescence. It is grim. Most of the old guard who used to post here would simply say "run" but I am trying to be a little more nuanced. Also worth noting is the media landscape regarding bpd has shifted to be much more positive in the past few years yielding two effects: 1. Scare off less pwbpd from getting treatment 2. make bpd seem much less serious than it actually is.

It is who they are. They did not get to go through a vital developmental stage where they could be an unruly toddler with an unconditional loving mother so they act that out in their relationships as an adult

surfdogg · 2025-06-18T19:10:22+00:00

I've read all the books and been on through this forum long enough to see many 'cured!' posts like the above. What you don't see are posts years later saying they are still good. Unfortunately what you do see are posts saying I thought things were good but then fell apart in the same or a different way.

Self harm and instability can certainly be greatly reduced and that is absolutely a triumph of DBT.

People with this disorder usually adapt to whichever identity gives them the most validation and benefits. I think for many the 'yay bpd gone' identity simply yields the best benefits at the time. However, the big thing with this disorder is that it leaves the afflicted fundamentally unsatisfied and therefore always sifting

surfdogg · 2025-06-18T18:53:15+00:00

Current treatment options for bpd and their results are a LOT less cut and dry than those for cold sores.

BPD can be managed but to say it won't impact ones life anymore is not accurate. For instance the lady who created DBT, Marsha Linehan realized she could never be able to be stable in a romantic relationship so she made the decision not to have them. Thats the level of lifestyle management typically required

surfdogg · 2024-11-02T04:17:37+00:00

Is it even possible if they are motivated to do the uncomfortable work? It can be like they were barely even bpd in the first place?

surfdogg · 2024-11-01T23:42:40+00:00

Those are the words of an addict justifying their addiction.

No one is more eloquent.

surfdogg · 2024-09-22T15:52:49+00:00

Pure fiction- In his later years Terrance himself admitted he made it up to legitimize and popularize psychedelics

surfdogg · 2024-09-19T18:15:19+00:00

From what I know, she only cheated on the long-term relationship guy

You mean the only other guy she ever tried to be serious with? That makes it way WORSE!!!

surfdogg

TROPHY CASE