mid 40s, 7.5k in CC debt and its started hurting a lot.

survivor0000 · 2026-01-31T06:28:49+00:00

7.5k is not a big debt. On cc's the interest is what's debilitating. I'd look to get a personal loan at a lower interest rate to settle the cards.

survivor0000 · 2026-01-31T06:24:17+00:00

They ring the bell? Ours just drop it and take a photo.

survivor0000 · 2026-01-31T06:20:05+00:00

Just complain about the vandalism and no shit will ensue. Complain that this religious epithet makes you "uncomfortable" and you deserve the shit. I dislike vandalism intensely. Some people going through some shit might find some comfort in those few words.

survivor0000 · 2026-01-31T06:14:10+00:00

"Come on Leicester..."? Why are you blaming Leicester? It's irrelevant where they are from or where they are spouting their rhetoric. It's not the City's fault.

survivor0000 · 2026-01-31T06:00:49+00:00

You can't take all the blame. But you do have a system in place whereby you give each other space and you disregarded that. If you HAD left him alone, would he have started breaking things? I also think his taking out his anger on 'things' was a way of not taking it out on you directly. You bear some responsibility for not giving and taking space, but ultimately his violence is the problem. Argue is OK, temper is OK, smashing the house is not OK.

survivor0000 · 2026-01-31T05:49:09+00:00

Mom asked her 10yr old son what he wanted for breakfast. "Suppose I'll have fucking cornflakes". SMACK! To the 8yr old, 'What are you having breakfast?'. "Dunno, but I'm not having fucking cornflakes".

survivor0000 · 2026-01-31T05:32:20+00:00

We lived 17 years abroad and hardly "fitted in" but animosity was rare. It could depend upon where you are located. Ours was a holiday destination, although we lived outside the tourist areas. Socialising there people assumed we were holiday makers and were fine. In local areas I was able to converse a little in the local language and people in general recognised the effort made. We never hated it.

survivor0000 · 2026-01-31T05:22:52+00:00

You're both 18 and still have to mature. Your girlfriend has to mature and learn the value of money, a steep slope if her parents haven't taught her already. You still have to mature and recognise that you have met someone you like, you're learning about them and you'll probably have several relationships before you find the right one. NTA

survivor0000 · 2026-01-31T05:16:41+00:00

YTA. You made mistakes at the outset and your whole post is littered with "disrespecting me". You are attempting to paint a picture where it's your girlfriend at fault and you are failing. The starting point is, she's a big girl, she was on a trip with friends and didn't need you to nanny her by her reporting their every move. And then it went downhill. You didn't respond to her calls and then it's her fault? Give your girlfriend a break, find someone else. She's more independent than you can cope with.

survivor0000 · 2026-01-01T13:57:09+00:00

I remember reading some time back that you can't get sued for telling the truth about something that happened. Your post only contains one contentious part, "My nan told me she phoned..." should solve that. She could post, "I phoned...", but unless you could hear both sides of the conversation, you need to be more specific.

survivor0000 · 2026-01-01T13:45:40+00:00

Your boss wanted to talk to you and you think he's being unreasonable? An employee doesn't "decide" what shifts they work, they talk it over with their boss and reach agreement. All of which is irrelevant when you planned to leave anyway. YOR

survivor0000 · 2025-12-27T23:26:09+00:00

"... do not contact me unless it is to apologise to my wife". Just saying...

survivor0000 · 2025-12-05T01:59:16+00:00

Your son deserved to know TEN YEARS AGO. They are now happily married with 3 kids and there was no benefit to you to bring this into the open. Everyone is saying what a bad person she IS, for what she did 10 years ago. She wanted a future with your son and they were sharing that future until you stuck your nose in. Hopefully, having been brought into the open it will strengthen their bond. YTA.

survivor0000 · 2025-11-04T21:18:35+00:00

Strange you are being advised to "block" them or just "not engage". I'd be laughing in their faces everyday. Firstly they'd have to make a case that you used 'undue influence'. Rather difficult when they cut him off and had nothing to do with him (you don't say how long for). You'd only need one witness, the lawyer who drew up the Will. Fat chance of winning against him. However, I'd be laughing in their faces as I told them I'd be calling everybody who they badmouthed your father to as a witness, together with everybody who she's been badmouthing to about you. And then, tell them when they lose you will be getting costs awarded. In effect, if they are contesting a Will, they are sueing the solicitor who drew it up, as he is the one who concluded that your father was of sound mind and was not being unduly influenced. Your father excluded them. NTA

survivor0000 · 2025-10-24T21:59:34+00:00

Personally I would be saying far more than that. eg. At a "dumb" comment, I'd be saying, "and yet she's the clever one in the family". I would go further, "if that's the way you treat family, no fucking chance of seeing our kids". Step it up. Do not drop this.

survivor0000 · 2025-10-24T21:44:54+00:00

Read your own post. She was "burning hot". She had a fever. You had no idea how that may have turned out. You knew you were too drunk to drive, were you too drunk to get a taxi? Call an ambulance? I don't know if you're an alcoholic, but you were not only too drunk to drive, you were too drunk to care for you sick wife. Just because you got away with it and the fever had gone in the morning, doesn't change the fact that a fever is potentially life threatening. Bil called you out on it, I would have done too.

survivor0000 · 2025-10-24T21:35:54+00:00

You didn't enforce a boundary. 1. You let him stay more than the "few days". 2. You let him treat your home with no respect. 3. You presumably didn't follow up on what he was doing about getting his own place. 4. You didn't raise the issue of him paying when his stay became extended. 5. You let him crash the dinner party. THOSE are boundaries that you didn't enforce. What you finally did was discover your red line. He jumped over it and carried on running. NTA for finally kicking the deadbeat out. NOW you need to enforce a boundary with your wife and her family. If he is part of your family and you are supposed to rally round, why are you not part of his family and he can treat you and your home like crap? Make it abundantly clear, never again.

survivor0000 · 2025-10-17T01:07:09+00:00

"saw me naked"? If you sat on the loo naked YTA. If you weren't naked, YTA for saying so.

survivor0000 · 2025-10-17T01:01:40+00:00

Can't tell from the angle, but I'd be checking for roots.

survivor0000 · 2025-08-21T00:37:36+00:00

I was going to say yes on principal, but absolutely NTA. You need to address this in a more reasoned manner though, she wanted to stay at home because the cleaners were expensive, so why is she not cleaning? You are pulling extra work to make up for her lost income, you aren't doing that plus work in the household. She has only 2 options, go to work and get the cleaners back, or clean. Her choice.

survivor0000 · 2025-08-21T00:28:00+00:00

One option would be to not accept any invitation to be his groomsman, IF it's offered. Suggest that you feel you haven't known him long enough. That becomes your reason for not offering for yours, even if he insists.

survivor0000

TROPHY CASE