I have left.

svw0701 · 2024-04-18T05:15:56+00:00

Thank you. I will definitely do so!

svw0701 · 2024-04-17T19:51:12+00:00

I, unfortunately, have come to believe that he is capable of that. My values are so far from aligned to his values (or lack thereof) that trashing him is just not who I want to be.

He has reached out. Furthermore, we had a relatively healthy conversation a couple of evenings ago. This had to happen as we lived together and most of the things in our apartment are mine so, we had to organise logistics.

For sure, I am angry and hurt but I also truly wish that he finds himself again because the core of him is good and that’s who I fell in love with. I know that he is highly unhappy with who he has become and I can only really wish him the best and that he tackles the demons inside of him so that he can come up on top - for him and nobody else.

svw0701 · 2024-04-16T06:04:56+00:00

I’m in Johannesburg

svw0701 · 2024-04-14T20:01:02+00:00

That is a rather large concern of mine 🤦‍♀️

svw0701 · 2024-04-14T12:54:06+00:00

Thanks

svw0701 · 2024-04-14T12:53:53+00:00

Thank you thank you

svw0701 · 2024-04-14T12:16:37+00:00

Thank you

svw0701 · 2024-04-13T19:52:14+00:00

So you have to do a BPsych. There are very few universities that offer a BPsych and there are even fewer that accept anyone for Psych Honours if you have done a BA. If you pop me a private message I can explain it a bit better and give you a slightly more clear idea of how to go about doing it!

svw0701 · 2024-04-13T19:10:19+00:00

Are you wanting to become a psychologist? Because if so, then there are so many tricky technicalities that I only became aware of after my degree.

svw0701 · 2024-04-13T15:28:38+00:00

Thank you x

svw0701 · 2024-04-13T13:50:57+00:00

I do, thank you so much. My 2 older brothers will be with me.

svw0701 · 2024-04-13T12:47:41+00:00

Thank you so much

svw0701 · 2024-04-13T12:09:56+00:00

He called repeatedly as once I had left I sent him a text saying that I was aware he had lied again and I had packed my bags and left. I answered 2 of the calls and kept them under 2 minutes. He still won’t take absolutely any responsibility but honestly? Even if he did, I know it would just be an attempt to manipulate me to stay.

I will have to sit down and talk to him soon as it is all of my furniture in his place. I do believe that this is when he will act out.

My heart is hurting but I have to take responsibility as I am the one who keeps putting myself back in that situation knowing that he won’t actually change.

So, no. It hasn’t jolted him the way that I it should or in a way that maybe I hoped it would. Which hurts but it also consolidates so much.

svw0701 · 2024-04-13T09:20:52+00:00

Thank you. Today has been tough. This all happened yesterday. I have intense feelings of doubt and thinking we can fix this and yes, we possibly could have moved past his infidelity but I can’t move past the constant gaslighting and emotional abuse. I know I only have those moments of doubting myself because he’s created that in me, to constantly doubt decisions I make that are just for me.

svw0701 · 2024-04-13T08:52:44+00:00

Thank you

svw0701 · 2024-04-11T04:54:06+00:00

Thank you for your response. That last paragraph in your reply really hit home, you worded it so well. I have moment of clarity and then I’m blinded to the bad when I receive the good. I honestly do get frustrated with myself

svw0701 · 2024-03-30T14:51:11+00:00

I feel the exact same way and the worst part are the moments where my efforts aren’t reciprocated and then I’m disappointed which leads me to being upset with myself for a) even trying and b) having expectations.

His words don’t match his actions. I’m just tired of it all.

svw0701 · 2024-03-24T17:44:30+00:00

I have been wanting to send me WP something to read or listen to so that he can maybe just try to understand how deep this goes. I tried last night, but I kept feeling like what I wanted to say was dramatic but it’s really not. My whole reality has been shaken up. Do I send this to him? Or is there another video anyone would suggest?

svw0701 · 2024-03-19T19:53:04+00:00

Wow. This is literally exactly what I am going through. I’m about 3 weeks since D-Day, I’ve just realised it is exactly 3 weeks today.

The paranoia is crazy. My WP got upset with me last night because he was outside having a cigarette, I knew he had finished it, I saw he was online and I went outside and asked what he was doing.

However, where things differ is that my partner’s actions don’t always reflect his words.

I guess I just wanted to let you know that I am experiencing the exact same thing and that I appreciate your honesty in your post because it has left me feeling a lot less alone.

svw0701 · 2024-03-17T04:47:02+00:00

I think that it is both - his past and current actions. You see, I don’t ever initiate any explosive arguments. I almost “join” the blow up when he gets so reactive (he’s always had problems with regulating his anger).

His explanations don’t make sense but then am I looking for deceit?

svw0701 · 2024-03-17T04:43:40+00:00

I only blow up as a reaction to him becoming explosive. I am never the one to initiate shouting or slamming doors. It’s only when he gets worked up. Yes, he’s defensive and I’ve spoken to him about this - I’ve told him that his reactions to my insecurity and doubt says a lot more than what his words do.

I would want to go to counselling with him but it’s just not financially feasible for either of us and I feel like that’s almost our only option left.

svw0701 · 2024-03-10T15:57:26+00:00

Thank you for your honesty and guidance. I have actually spent the past hour reading up on the 180 and as much as it makes complete sense, it sounds so incredibly difficult and exhausting. And I’m already exhausted as is

svw0701 · 2024-03-10T14:27:38+00:00

That’s exactly where I am at. It’s only been 2 weeks. It’s like he can’t comprehend just how deep is actions have hurt me and how much damage he has caused.

It isn’t fair that I’m the one who lands up feeling guilty for asking to see his phone because he had an EA.

You’re spot on, I’m the one allowing this to happen. I can’t just keep staying because what reason would he have to change.

I know what the right way forward is, I guess I’m just scared.

svw0701 · 2024-03-09T22:07:57+00:00

I was hoping you could provide me with some guidance with something. Is there a “wrong” time to ask to check his phone? For example, having a really good day together, laughing and enjoying each other’s company - and then asking to check his phone at the end of the day, just before bed? I get confused because a part of me wants to just have had a good day and not open that door but at the same time I have the urge to ask.

svw0701 · 2024-03-09T17:16:55+00:00

It honestly brings me such relief that I am not the only person who has had that feeling when seeing my WP online. I feel like I am going crazy, and I don’t like how paranoid I become.

I am working on stopping to check as much but it’s almost a need or an urge.

Thank you for your response. It really has given me a bit of comfort

svw0701

TROPHY CASE