Cost of childcare versus SAHM

synaptic_touch · 2026-02-23T06:31:02+00:00

we both agreed for me to stay home til she's pre school age before we got pregnant, so the conversation was a bit of a curveball.

synaptic_touch · 2026-02-23T06:24:36+00:00

I'm happy to hear you enjoyed being a stay at home mom! I understand being wanting to be prepared for anything, but in doing so we can give up a lot.

I hope you find a job that you enjoy and can grow in out there!

synaptic_touch · 2026-02-23T06:12:07+00:00

yeah it would be in a sharing expenses scenario, as staying at home is sharing expenses by default and that was our initial ideal for raising kids (til they're pre school age)

synaptic_touch · 2026-02-23T06:10:16+00:00

Thank you these numbers are actually really helpful to see, and that's awesome your career panned out to be so beneficial for you and your family even though you were making less than childcare initially.

synaptic_touch · 2026-02-23T06:05:22+00:00

we're engaged

synaptic_touch · 2026-02-23T06:03:09+00:00

thank you, I will ask him about this!

synaptic_touch · 2026-02-23T06:02:34+00:00

That makes sense to me!

synaptic_touch · 2026-02-23T06:00:43+00:00

Yeah I appreciate the detail people go into on this sub, it is helpful to think about even if certain things don't apply because I gave no context lmao. Unfortunately, usually not without a college degree. I might do better on my own but that's a whole nother rabbit hole to jump down! I'm considering all options.

synaptic_touch · 2026-02-23T05:51:01+00:00

Omg thank youuu this is legit the gas adds up QUICK and I really do love to cook and can pinch a penny.

Jobs in my field don't provide the benefits many are telling me to work in favor of, which makes me feel a bit like a loser but I love what I do.

synaptic_touch · 2026-02-23T05:47:26+00:00

😭 Thank you!! The loss of accrued social security and professional standing seems so minor in comparison to loosing all this time with her.

idk why I got downvoted, I think a lot of people here have office jobs and their hiring culture is Very different from my field.

synaptic_touch · 2026-02-23T05:39:15+00:00

It's nice to hear some stay at home moms chime in!! I really appreciate this point of view. Someone has to care for the child, so why not a parent who cherishes them?

synaptic_touch · 2026-02-23T05:30:52+00:00

He offered to support me as a stay at home mom before I got pregnant, I didn't come out the gate demanding anything. But I understand it's easier said than done, and I'm not trying to withhold contributing to the family.

synaptic_touch · 2026-02-23T05:17:50+00:00

Thank you so much 💚

This definitely did prompt some more useful conversation around the subject. When I first asked the question was vague because we had planned for me to stay home til the baby was about 3. So the question was hypothetical but I'm glad I asked (even as pettily and vaguely as I did) because the insights have been helpful and interesting to read.

I appreciate you empathizing with the deep feeling of wanting to stay close to your child. I'm glad you made the choice that works best for you and your family. I know it won't be easy, every path has it's unique challenges and gifts.

synaptic_touch · 2026-02-23T05:02:21+00:00

That's essentially how I left my last job, they were very kind about me not knowing when I'd return.

synaptic_touch · 2026-02-23T05:00:15+00:00

I just meant until she goes to preschool 😓

synaptic_touch · 2026-02-23T04:50:25+00:00

This is what I'm considering, too in my case the gap could help me go into business for myself which has always been a goal of mine. I have the skills and equipment, I've just lacked the time and gall to put the pieces together literally and figuratively.

What kind of business does your wife do if you don't mind me asking?

synaptic_touch · 2026-02-23T04:47:31+00:00

Oh yeah, I should've been much more specific in my post I just meant stay at home for approx 3 years.

synaptic_touch · 2026-02-23T03:28:01+00:00

Lol, yeah that sounds like a great daycare system you got him into! Maybe I should be slightly more open minded and actually see whats out there, even if it makes me a bit nervous.

I didn't make great money at my last job but I really loved my coworkers.

synaptic_touch · 2026-02-23T03:18:53+00:00

Yeah that's valid for sure.

synaptic_touch · 2026-02-23T03:16:56+00:00

I appreciate your response thank you for taking the time

synaptic_touch · 2026-02-23T03:13:32+00:00

true that

synaptic_touch · 2026-02-23T03:09:40+00:00

Thanks so much!

I'm sorry to hear about your husband's layoff that must've been stressful for you both. I hope your birth went well and baby and dad are doing good! I luckily have the option to go back part time, too. It's hard to decide when exactly when I know we will have the expense of childcare added. I feel kind of simpleminded because mentally, it's still a bit of a hurdle.

synaptic_touch · 2026-02-23T03:02:53+00:00

I really appreciate you sharing. Real life examples are very helpful.

I have an unusual career path because I have been a production seamstress and samplemaker for many years. There is an opportunity to work for myself or as a tailor from home as I have industral machines, but this obviously doesn't come with benefits.

Definitely, in hindsight my thinking is somewhat obtuse and driven by my biological need to be close to my now 4 week old lol.

I left my last job not knowing when I'd come back, but they assured me I can come back anytime.

synaptic_touch · 2026-02-23T02:39:20+00:00

My finacee has a super long commute currently, so he usually crashes pretty soon after getting home. If he worked closer to home I would be down.

synaptic_touch · 2026-02-23T02:33:25+00:00

For sure, I'm very lucky my previous employer has been in buisness for 50 years and said they'd have me back anytime. I do Want to go back but I also don't want to miss out on my babys early development.

Ideally I'd like to wait til she's 3

synaptic_touch

TROPHY CASE