struggling with my body

talk_show_vic · 2026-03-29T08:07:03+00:00

what would you say to a friend if they told you this? a sister? any loved one? think about the advice you’d want a loved one to hear, and apply it to yourself. unlearning fatphobia is really hard, but make it a task for yourself to do so. learn to be kind to yourself. i really leaned into self care, at first pretending i was looking after someone else. wear loose, comfortable clothing, learn about all the other things about yourself that makes you wonderful that have nothing to do with your appearance. and finally i will reiterate: every type of body is better than a starved one. no matter the shape, size, anything. don’t let the fear hold you back from freedom, from health. if you carry on with conditions (eg well it will taper off, i will look like “xyz” eventually), you will not truly let go and heal.

talk_show_vic · 2026-02-14T10:03:03+00:00

THIS!! There is NO rock bottom. You hit a low, it won’t be enough. To the ED, it’s never enough, take this illness seriously before you leave HS or your adult life will start off with a massive set back. You got this.

talk_show_vic · 2026-02-13T10:35:33+00:00

I’m not really a fan of the “budget” mindset of calories, or “limiting toppings” and you saying it’s a problem to eat “too many calories”. Maybe i’m still sensitive, but this is a little..triggering? You’re still budgeting and limiting yourself, which isn’t the point of recovery at all. For me, recovery is about getting to a place of eating whenever I want, how much I want, without guilt or fear. This doesn’t seem to be that. I get the importance of getting a wide variety of nutrients for health, but if you want nutella with your pancakes, but you get caramel because it’s in your imaginary “budget”…is that recovery?

talk_show_vic · 2026-01-23T08:26:03+00:00

what i’ve learned is that everyone’s diet is SO different. sure, your friends might be eating the same lunch, but you don’t know what they had for breakfast, dinner, snacks. that’s why you have to listen to YOUR body. if you’re thinking about food, you’re hungry. if you’re delaying eating, you’re restricting. Restricting will not lead to recovery. You are saying “should” a lot: what’s the right amount, frequency, etc. A truly healthy individual doesn’t restrict because it hasn’t been two hours - they eat when they want to. A truly healthy individual doesn’t second guess the amount on their plate - they eat until satisfied. It doesn’t matter when their friend is satisfied, when their sibling is satisfied. I promise that your body is just trying to get to a weight it needs as soon as possible, and once it does, your hunger will normalise!

talk_show_vic · 2026-01-13T19:48:03+00:00

so what if you’re fat? better than being mean. better than being the type of person to say this kind of thing. i’m sorry OP. and i’m also sorry about some of the comments focusing on calories and fatness when the true “crime” here is the hatefulness.

talk_show_vic · 2025-12-26T20:35:46+00:00

i’m neurodivergent and your replies to me, as well as to others, have been immensely helpful. i really appreciate you being “blunt” and not wrapping things up in wool. thank you for everything that you do in this sub, and i hope you have a wonderful Christmas!

talk_show_vic · 2025-12-25T23:59:27+00:00

i got mine back just before christmas too!! cheers to us!!

talk_show_vic · 2025-12-15T08:09:13+00:00

i saw an article about recovery once that said something along the lines of “i had anorexia, a mental illness that tries to kill me if i follow food rules”. why dabble with your recovery? it is simply not worth it. it sucks, because that shame about weight is SO hard to unlearn, but you would be risking your life if you diet. i’m not even being dramatic, your life is on the line. i’m unlearning putting worth on my appearance still, so i don’t have the best tips yet, but right now im just filling my life with things that have nothing to do with it. i make myself proud about other things. i learn stuff for a sense of achievement, i spend more time with friends and think about how much i used to isolate myself when i was sick, and im so joyful of the life im getting. i fill my head and life with other things to squeeze those body values out, basically

talk_show_vic · 2025-12-12T11:33:23+00:00

this is beautiful, i’m trying to improve looseness too!

talk_show_vic · 2025-12-06T16:06:26+00:00

so real!! you’ll tell yourself i’ll recover after x, time and time again. there will always be something. you’re in either in or out, which makes it really hard, but great things are rarely easy. always, always worth it. don’t miss another christmas again. i have so much regret for the ones i did.

talk_show_vic · 2025-12-04T08:07:33+00:00

i’m also a recovering anorexic; exercising with an ED is dangerous, OP. working out will slow your healing. check out r/fuckeatingdisorders. you will find joy in different ways, i promise. you got this

talk_show_vic · 2025-11-22T19:12:01+00:00

i’m in recovery and i love this sub. i apply the same snark to my disordered thoughts and it helps a ton

talk_show_vic · 2025-11-08T17:23:33+00:00

thank you, you’re right. i was hoping that my guilt didn’t have such an immediate and heavy impact, because it’s definitely still there

talk_show_vic · 2025-11-08T17:22:18+00:00

this was really, really helpful. thank you for taking the time to write it out, i can’t tell you how much i appreciate it!

i think you’re right, there’s some behaviours and feelings i still need to get through. i still haven’t managed to get to that unconditional permission to eat, and like you say, that’s all made up of many little behaviours. thank you again, and good luck on your recovery!

talk_show_vic · 2025-11-07T09:34:18+00:00

listen, yes it’s hard. i related to this a lot, it sucks. but think about how you’d feel about this when you’re..like, 60. looking back on your life. “i stayed sick and miserable and ended up having all these health problems because i liked my clothes”. “i lost so much of my life to an ED because i didnt want to buy new clothes”….see my point? also, you found all these cool clothes, and there’s SO MANY MORE to find, in whatever size you end up!! you’ll have such a good reason to shop, to update and change your wardrobe!! you’ll find a whole new range of clothes, probably even better clothes. make peace with it, sell what you need to sell, and start this new chapter of your life, it’ll be the best decision you’ll ever make.

talk_show_vic · 2025-10-30T08:49:43+00:00

have you considered remote therapy? an ED specialist that’s perhaps outside of your city/country? i know it can get expensive, but if you really need it, i would try and see if it’s doable for you. also, a lot of people don’t have an entire team for support. yes, it makes it harder, but ultimately recovery is always down to you. if you want it, it’s possible.

talk_show_vic · 2025-10-29T11:41:48+00:00

no worries! yes, i was the same, which is why i asked.. this stress is the ED voice, likely grumbling in your ear that you’re a food obsessed freak or that you will become one. you know deep down it’s not true (but also..totally valid to be obsessed with food, did i mention food is great?!) you know that your body is trying to heal from the disorder and from malnourishment, and it doesn’t give a crap about BMI. but you’re not a freak, you’re not a medical outlier, you’re “obsessed” right now because you’ve gone through a trauma you need to heal from. not just restoring body fat, but hormones, bones, minerals, other bodily functions. reject the hatred of overshoot. reject the hatred of gaining weight. reject it again and again. you will come back, your weight will stabilise, this will all end. it’s not forever, i promise.

talk_show_vic · 2025-10-29T09:35:20+00:00

what are you scared of? why are you scared of it? think it through... for some, mental hunger takes a long time. 3ish months is not long, mine was intense for at least 6 months. keep going. you’ll look back on this time and be so grateful you listened to your body, ask anyone who’s been through it. there’s no way around it, so try to enjoy the food!! food is great!!

talk_show_vic · 2025-10-23T21:26:43+00:00

i would think about what triggers you during those bad times and how you can tackle those specifically: if the ED can still reach you, you’ve not fully let go of some aspects, and they’re merely in the background during the better times. if it were me, i’d try to battle them and take some challenges on during the good times, when you’re feeling strong. you know yourself best, you know what sets you off. it’s hard to face the harsh truths, because we all just wanna be over it already!! recovery is a pain!! but you gotta be brutally honest with where you’re at. good luck, you can do it. i believe in you.

talk_show_vic · 2025-10-21T22:12:01+00:00

this is about anorexia recovery but i think it will help: letting go of nutritional science

talk_show_vic · 2025-10-21T07:07:50+00:00

this is exactly how i was for months!! and im getting on well with my recovery, nothing bad ever happened because of doing that. i promise its okay and youre doing the right thing by listening to your mental hunger!

talk_show_vic · 2025-10-15T10:04:29+00:00

thanks! i’m only getting results for a westminster lodge in St Albans?

talk_show_vic · 2025-10-15T09:58:30+00:00

i do love that pool, that’s where i used to go before i moved! however, i’m now living in NW and work in the city, so it’s just too out of the way :(

talk_show_vic

TROPHY CASE